How do you teach a 5yr old or older child to be an individual?


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Well-Known Member
Apr 22, 2003
The reason i asked this question is because my five yr old whom just turned six does'nt understand that she is born to be unique. She entices her friends with the material things that she has. Once they become bored with these things they move on to the next child leaving my baby feeling like she does'nt fit in. I tried to explain to her the difference between a best friend and a friend, But my explanation back fired. She became very hostile to her friends and practically told them that they was using her. She started holding her little fingers in the letter L shape when she saw them. This meaning that they are losers. Of course children don't hold grudges so once she teamed up with them again, She started to do whatever they told her to do or let them have the run of her things. I want her to be herself and be proud, but I dont wan't her to be selfish or arrogant. How do I teach her to embrace her individuality without having to be selfish?

I would love to hear how you all handled this! Please come share with me!


Well-Known Member
Jan 24, 2004
Brick City
day care provider (own business)
I guess we had something in common because at the age of 5, my daughter did the same thing exactly. Maybe at a certain age children do go through this maybe not all children, but some do. She use to just give other kids her toys, watches, little necklaces and rings (that we bought her) needless to say I was angry, but I keep explaining to her that if she had to give away things that I spend my money on just so someone would play with her, ...then she don't need to be in the company of that person and that it's their loss, not her's. Just keep talking to your seed and soon she will learn the difference and grow out of it.
ps I like this thread, hope we will always be able to assist each other in concerns about our children.

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