Black Parenting : How do you talk to your daughter about her cycle and sex?

Discussion in 'Black Parenting' started by MsInterpret, Jul 27, 2011.

  1. MsInterpret

    MsInterpret Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    My daughter is 8 and I just am trying to get prepared for the conversation about her menstrual cycle, sex, and babies. I began mine when I was 10 and I'm sure she'll begin hers around that time also.

    Right now she talks about little things like asking me if she is gonna get hair under her arms and what-not and I explain to her that she is, but then since she knows it all she tells me she isn't :lol:...Little does she know she will get it else where.

    My mom went about showing me tampons and pads and said what will happen, but she never discussed sex to me. She just told me I better not do it and come home pregnant.

    I want to have a better discussion with her about the subject matter. Her dad won't do it, he said that's on me....So the pressure is on.

    What do you say? Do you show them stuff? What do you do?
     
  2. Destee

    Destee destee.com STAFF

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    I've always been very open about such things with my children ... son and daughter.

    I've operated from the position that i want them to hear it from me first, rather than someone else.

    I told them the minute details, consequences, etc., so no one could pull the wool over their eyes.

    I probably scarred them for life ... :)

    Good Luck!

    Love You!

    :heart:

    Destee
     
  3. Bootzey

    Bootzey Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Be completely honest about everything she asks. It's not like as her parent you are going to have a salacious conversation with her. Menarche is frightening if you don't know what's going on. If we remember our "First Blood" experiences, chances are it will not be like Rudy's on the Cosby Show. So tell her everything she can expect.
     
  4. Corvo

    Corvo navigator of live MEMBER

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    Straight up sister, tell her how it really is. I always keep it real with my children. They have to know the truth, always from you.

    With love, always
     
  5. $$RICH$$

    $$RICH$$ Lyon King Admin. STAFF

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    I agree with all above , don't hold back and yes show and tell
    so that she fully understand how life really, this will guide her
    and yet lead to more question so be ready to answer them
    with a leadership mind .........let the sex talk come the minute
    she talk about boys

    sex+boys=birds & bees
    the danger of it , what will happen at an early age
    the good of it when the time comes and how to
    protect her humble goods & soul form the woves

    Good luck
    Mom
     
  6. $$RICH$$

    $$RICH$$ Lyon King Admin. STAFF

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    One more thing teach her how to care for it
    what steps to take before and after each month
    how to love it, and trust me. She won't mis-use it
    again good luck
    Dear Mother
     
  7. Proverbs31Woman

    Proverbs31Woman Be kinder than necessary! MEMBER

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    I agree with prior posts that being open and maintaining an open door policy with her is wise. I, like Sister Destee, have been on both sides with my sons and daughter. I recommend you keep the level of discussion tied to her questions and exposure. So ask her questions to guage what she knows and follow her lead on how far to go into your discussion. Otherwise, you may open doors that she's not mentally prepared to understand. For my daughter, I showed her pictures of her body on the inside and how it works and from her reaction, I realized that her imagination had a different picture, so having visual aids will prevent her from drawing the wrong picture and being confused. I explored her body with her so she could understand the functions and daily care.

    And of course, we know the times have changed, and kids are exposed to much more than former generations, so have consistent conversations with her, as way of a check-in, in this way you are always one step or two ahead of outside influences.

    Enjoy this time with her, it truly is a bonding period as she will began to see you as not just her mother but a woman..and with you being a teacher, this is your best teaching moment of them all..best wishes!
     
  8. MsInterpret

    MsInterpret Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Kids grow up too fast and act fast *sigh*
    I see some of these young kids like 10-13 and they be getting pregnant....UGGHHH I would die.
     
  9. Proverbs31Woman

    Proverbs31Woman Be kinder than necessary! MEMBER

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    I know, it's crazy out here now so the actually "sex" talk is right around the corner, wow. I had "the talk" with my daughter at about 10 or 11 yrs as that is when she was exposed to it in school with so many kids having sex younger and younger, as you pointed out. Although she's the youngest, it felt odd because she's my only daughter, but it had to be done, and thereafter, she would always come to me with questions saying, I don't think my friends really know what they're talking about and I know you do, wow.

    BTW, I love your comic pic and it is so true, lol.
     
  10. MsInterpret

    MsInterpret Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    I'm glad you were/are able to discuss those matters with your daughter and have her confide in you for guidance.

    A lot of parents don't have these discussions. Kids are exposed to these images at an early age, so the kid gets a little sex-ed from the media and their peers.

    I know this might be a little too much info, but we're adults...I remember, accidentally, seeing porn when I was 6 at my friends house...at that time I didn't know what was going on, but as I got a lil older I was like "OMG that's what I just watched"....So I dunno, maybe one day she'll come across something like that...or maybe she already has. SMH

    I don't want to shelter her, but I do want to protect her, but I feel as a parent there is only so much you can do. I mean, if I had my way I'd lock her in a closet and feed through a hole in the wall (but I heard that was against the law).
     
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