Beauty - Hair Care - Fashion : How Do You Take Care of Your Hair When You are in a LTR?

Discussion in 'Beauty - Black Hair Care - Fashion' started by river, Apr 18, 2010.

  1. river

    river Watch Her Flow MEMBER

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    Hey Sistas.

    I decided to put this here instead of the Hair forum because when all is said and done it might end up being about more than hair and I did not put it in the relationship forum because most men don't have this issue.

    What is the issue?

    I have to do something to my hair at night. Since it is natural I don't have to roll it up but I do have to plait or tie it up. How can I do this and keep the fires burning in a relationship? I honestly don't know if I look sexy with a satin bonnet on my head.

    Maybe this is why husbands and wives in Africa slept in separate huts. To me the best relationship is where we live next door to each other or across the street or even cross town. Somewhere so I can have a minute when he is not there so I can do what i have to do to look beautiful when he is there. Knowamsane?

    But what do you do?
     
  2. anAfrican

    anAfrican Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    KNOW that you ARE Beautiful, regardless!!

    it's just how our hair works and should NOT need any sort of "allowances" made when we/she has to do what has to be done with it. <shrug> heck fahr; he oughta help ... and why can't that be part of the foreplay?

    the "fires" in a relationship should not have any problem staying lit. if how your head looks at night is a "problem" or an "issue" ....

    an LTR should be beyond the point of "looks" except where the two of you are making an impression on folks that may be encountered when out and about. but, "behind closed doors"? and to each other?

    but, that's just a guy butting in before any of the Sisters have a chance to comment. 'scuse, please!
     
  3. enquiring_mind

    enquiring_mind Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    LOL!!!

    I hear you Sis, glad I'm not the only person on the planet whose mind this crosses from time to time...I've been single for a while, and I don't do the 'casual' thing where men are concerned, so no recent bed partners...however, I also take the standpoint that the (personal) essential that is the satin bonnet isn't the most...'alluring' look in the bedroom haha!! :D

    But saying that, I also realise that our ideas of how we should 'look' in the bedroom (may) have been molded by western media over a long period of time...you know what I mean...it's not the Black woman who has been used to set the standard for desirability in this recent time ;) The lingerie ads, 'love' scenes in films...

    BUT- I'm working to get over that. I'm a Black Woman, my hair has unique care needs...my Black Man will also realise and appreciate that, and even help me to twist up my hair at night.... :toast:


    Hotep :)
     
  4. Bootzey

    Bootzey Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Why not braid it up into some quick yet cute style?
    Maybe goddess braids?
    That is a good choice if you are also planning
    to start the festivities in the shower.....
     
  5. river

    river Watch Her Flow MEMBER

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    Hair management as foreplay? Why not?

    In old European fairy tales the knight in shining arrmor would lay his head in his lady's lap while she plucked lice out of his hair. YUCK!!!!

    At least my hair is clean and the challenge of making it do what he wants may be exhilarating for him.
     
  6. medusanegrita

    medusanegrita Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    I'm a nappyhead and proud of it. I take care of my hair the same being single or in an LTR.

    You musta watched Chris Rock where the men said their relaxed headed wives and girlfriends didn't want men touching their heads and they didn't want their hair messed up when they getting their groove on.

    That's never been a problem for me relaxed or natural.
    Any time my hair messes up I can fix it again - regardless of how or when it got messed up. I even SWIM!

    Nappy and proud :toast:
     
  7. MsInterpret

    MsInterpret Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    LOL...

    I've never know a man to care what was on my head when I went to bed. If I am in a LTR with him he really won't care whats on my head at night.

    The silk wrap is coming off one way or another lol.

    I wouldn't worry about this though...I real man will love you regardless of what's on your head. Just as long as it ain't your hair that's coming off.

     
  8. medusanegrita

    medusanegrita Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Goodness, I didn't even read all this. But this is not the reason to sleep apart. I don't care what my man know or sees that I do to look good, or that I look like crap some days, especially when I wake up. So no, I have no idea what you mean or why this is a concern for you - hiding your 'real' look while you turn on a 'fake one' that he has to see every day. You should have read my response 'say something nice about your X'

    Take heart girlfriend. Don't be scared to look your worse or your best in front of a man, and don't let no man dictate how you should look or how you want to look. Do you and be proud.
     
  9. Emerald_Queen

    Emerald_Queen Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Good question...sometimes I often wonder what should I be doing different with my hair, but at the end of the day I'm just grateful it looks decent enough! lol...I change it up because I like to, and then I know it's also a bonus because he likes it in a certain style too.

    It's hard because sometimes you think they don't even care, but then when I ask him of his opinions he will share them; which makes me think "I guess you DO notice." Either way, a change here and there is a good thing, but if the person is a LTR and doesn't seem to care, I guess the best thing is to approach him with your opinion of what you want to do different or if he really cares?
     
  10. warriorprincess

    warriorprincess Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    I think that this is good advice. Some of the stuff that we care about they do not. Also some of the stuff that we don't care about, they do.

    I've thought about the night time hair issue as well. I want to look my best whenever it’s feasible. I think what I will do is buy better fabrics to wrap my hair…….maybe even fabrics (patterns, colors) that complement my night clothing. I don’t have an issue with cotton fabrics, but they can be rather drying. For those that require silk or satin fabrics, maybe they can wrap the hair twice…..once with a silk scarf and again with a cotton one.....
     
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