Black Relationships : How do you feel about successful Black Men dating White woman?

Discussion in 'Black Relationships' started by Loveall20, Jul 26, 2003.

  1. Loveall20

    Loveall20 Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    I want to know why anytime something in the media is
    presented about a Black male entertainer involved with a
    white woman alot of black woman seem to lose their mind.
    I visted a message board discussing the recent issue with
    Kobe Byrant and their were so many replys of Black woman
    expressing that that's what Kobe deserves getting involved with a white woman.I know many have their personal feelings
    about interracial coupling but it seems to be at maximum when
    Black man of high statis are dating and marrying
    white woman in the international eye.
    Black people have stuggled to open these doors for years,
    and now that we have and these Black man are put on pedestals
    by the public my question is do feel that they are saying
    by dating even marrying a white woman that "O I'm too good for you now". Does this make you feel like he thinks we as black woman are inadequate?He is the bomb now and so
    we are less and he needs more?I personally don't have a problem with interracial dating but I do have a opinion when it comes to Black male entertainers (strictly) dating white woman when they get money and fame.
    What are your personal
    feelings on this issue?
     
  2. ifasehun

    ifasehun Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    i think just as many black women are dating white men. i think some among us are negative and have gender-hate issues - so we relish the opportunities to spread such useless cliches.

    black people that are not politically conscious date whatever and whomever.

    Useless Urban Legends about Black Men:

    1. All thug rappers are actually gay.
    2. Most successful black men date white women.
    3. There is a huge hidden populace of secret gay and bi-sexual black men that are dating women or married.

    If any of the above are true:

    1. Assume safely that if you boyfriend, husband, son or nephew likes gangsta rap, he too is probably gay too.
    2. Sending your son to college will result in interracial children. so we collectively dont approve we should get our children involved in crime early and make sure they stay illiterate.
    3. We should start putting lo-jack tags on all mens ankles to monitor their whereabouts when they are not w/ their spouse or girlfriends.

    stop w/ the generalizations. its getting tired. stop bashing black men!!
     
  3. Destee

    Destee destee.com STAFF

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    Anaksanamun ... beautiful post ... Thank You.

    :heart:

    Destee
     
  4. Mahogany_Brown

    Mahogany_Brown Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    I think if we understand the dynamics of what each of us was born into then we can understand why our people act the way they do and their behavior will not be suprising..
     
  5. NNQueen

    NNQueen going above and beyond PREMIUM MEMBER

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    This says a lot to me

    Anaksanamun, thank you for the eloquent and thorough explanation.


    Ifasehun...concise and to the point...powerful!

    I agree with both.
     
  6. ifasehun

    ifasehun Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    i still dont understand:

    so you actually think:

    1. that white women sit around waiting for black men with money?
    2. that there are not thousands of black women that around these men as well?
    3. that black men with money are more attracted to white women?
    4.that white women are better at securing relationships with black men?

    I mean seriously, i think that the black woman has been hurt and for good reason when black men have chosen to date white women -- just as she has been equally taxed and stretched by the burdens placed on the black male by society that have led to some of his anger and self-worth issues.

    but... generalizations are often found to be false. i know a lot of brothers that go to work at firms, banks, hospitals, universities etc.. and they date black women exclusively. and yes, i got a few friends that have enough money to fit into the category of wealthy. they too date black women exclusively. and it would be pretty hard to do otherwise when they are literally bombarded by black women that sense their professional success at twenty paces. lol

    i believe we can have a conversation about black MEN AND WOMEN and dating white folks - but not just men. its biased as all get out.
     
  7. rmstkd

    rmstkd Member MEMBER

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    My question is why does it really matter? We that believe that God created us and He does not show favoritism towards any race of people, then why is it that a lot of us have a problem with who's dating who? Are we so caught up in other people's business that we have not time for our own?

    If my brother (or sister) next door wants to date an Asian, a white, Latina/Latino I could care less. It's their life and they have to live with the choices they make.

    As for people making comments like it serve Kobe right for being with that "white" woman....well, I guess it would had been ok if the woman had been black. If God has no problem with the race of that woman, but more concern for the act of adultery, again I ask, why do we care so much about her race?

    I don't know, maybe its just me, race is not an issue.
     
  8. Alizentang

    Alizentang Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    I felt the need to respond to this post, because in the generalization, I guess I fit. I am a white/hispanic woman who was raised since 14 by an all black family. I ONLY date black men. It's a personal choice. I think that in this day and age that's all this should come down to. We, as free people have the freedom of choosing our mates. If a black man chooses to be with me because of the fact that I'm "white" I don't want him. I want a man that can UNDERSTAND ME! Where I've come from, the struggles that I've suffered and pulled through with the true amazing strength of a queen. I feel it very unfair to sterotype. I am in no way trying to pollute the African culture with my white/latina blood. I am just trying to be happy. i understand the stereotype. I've witnessed plenty of white women that are attracted to the "mystery" or whatever it may be about the black men. However, please keep in mind that by you "hating" on the white race you are being hypocritical of all you are speaking up on when you say that the white race is supressing your race. If you look around, the African-American population is increasing and even though the majority still is struggling from what your forefathers endured, your foot is in the door. Great things are happening in your "community". I've rambled now, but I think that it should come down to whatever makes you happy. If a purple spotted man could fulfill all my dreams, that's who I would be with. (well maybe that's going a little far:) ) You get my point.
    Much love:heart:
     
  9. Sekhemu

    Sekhemu Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Very good comments Anaksanamun, Baba Ahmed, and Ifasehun. I have one question though.... what constitutes a "successful black man". rmstkd, I assume by your reference to God created us he does show favoritism, that you believe in the bible? The scriptures are repleat with references to the Judeo-christian God "siding" with the Children of Israel, and I know of at least one scripture that says, I set you apart nation from nation that you may know each other. So if we were all meant to be on big bottle of Heinz 57... how do you explain that kind of seperation?
     
  10. Loveall20

    Loveall20 Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    I noticed that alot of Black woman do find this to be
    a slap in the face when a Black man considered
    to be of prestige dates a white woman.
    Rather not you have noticed or don't care to acknowledge
    it is being said.
    I'm not black
    male bashing just stating a noticed complaint.
    Now I agree
    with some things Anaksanamun said on how some of these
    men have perceived streotypes and based off of twisted
    ideals when opportunity arises act out of selfish reasoning.
    That can be with rich or poor man.
    Now it gives me a opinion when a Black men ---strictly---- dates a white
    woman because I feel his reasons for doing so is of streotypes , as
    alot of you may agree.
    I'm not a Black male of prestige dating
    white woman so I can only go on
    the reasons for which I've heard mentioned.
    If it's out of purely being color blind then I
    agree with it totally and that's not a issue to me.I would never say
    I don't agree with interracial relationships.Dispite all
    that we as people have been through, God is impartial
    and taught me along time ago to be as well.
    This post was written because I wanted to know how this made you feel.
    Thanks for your comments and hope to hear more from you all.
     
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