Black Relationships : How can a brotha tell ...

[MrBlak]

Thanks River!!!!

 

[jazzymoonchild]

Well, as a female, with platonic male friends, I know what I do. I will talk about other men with someone that I consider to be my "boy", buddy or whatever. I'll even ask him about his women. It's comfortable and casual and I don't feel the need to be "done up" around him. Also, with someone that I am interested in, I will call him. Initiate hooking up, etc. Someone who is my friend or my boy can come around when my girls are there and we're chillin' watching movies, being silly, having our little impromptu male/female debates. I just consider them to be good people who I am not attracted to. True, sometimes your "boy" might flip it on you and throw you off with the "what about us" conversation. Its uncomfortable, but if you care about that person as a friend and a person in general, you will do the right thing and not string them along. That's how I handle things.

 

[Monetary]

Mannnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nn....

ya'll had me cracking up at work...'bout got me fired.

I must be honest. Being a guy who gets shot down a lot, I can honestly say I've experienced all of them...except for the passing gas thing. That's just straight nasty coming from a woman. And if it's foul....woo lawd. Kill it.

 

[river]

A Greater Love

I'd like to share with ya'll an experience I just had with my just a friend dude.

This man has let me know in fifty million different ways that he is NOT my boyfriend. I had a mad crush on him and I think he knew it which is why he felt the need to make himself clear. Instead of slinking away feeling shot down and rejected I accepted that we were not an item but were still friends. As a friend he opened himself to me in ways that a lot of women complain their boyfriends won't. He shared his dreams and goals, his weaknesses and challenges. When he tells me he loves me I don't kid myself about what kind of love he's talking about. I don't try to give him more than he is willling to accept or ask him for more than he is willing to give. I don't drop hints or act like I don't know what's on the menu at McDonald's (ya'll have any chitlins today). He told me that he has come to trust me as a sister. I never made a big speech about wanting to be his friend because I spent more time thinking about what I could do than what I could say to show my intentions. Of course I probably still have a crush on him and would be his lady in a New York minute if he asks me. But I'm not going to burst my lungs waiting for him to ask. I would miss out on so much because the love he gives me right now as a brother and a friend is more precious to me than a diamond ring.

God loves me too much to give me everything I think I want. What I'm trying to say is brothers if you look at women as something more than relationship material then it won't be so painful when they don't see you as such. She just may give you a love far greater than the one you're asking her for.

BTW, this isn't an easy mindset to have. It takes discipline and sacrifice of our selfish needs and desires. There were times when I felt like just throwing myself at him and declaring my undying love. Fortunately when I have a cruch on someone my mouth refuses to open. Just think about what you have to lose and be quiet.