Black Poetry : Hooked

Discussion in 'Black Poetry - Get Your Flow On!' started by Ladysoul, Nov 9, 2002.

  1. Ladysoul

    Ladysoul Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    I'm very new to writing and this is my first. Let me know what you think and suggestions are encouraged.


    HOOKED

    My man gives me good love.
    Now what comes to your mind?
    Maybe kisses all over your body,
    And a tongue
    That lingers
    In
    Your navel;
    Then a gentle blow over it
    That turns your *** on to the
    Highest level of high.
    Maybe it’s the sweet
    In
    And
    Out
    Motion
    That makes you scream his name
    And grip the sheets
    As you almost lose your **** mind
    When you EXPLODE in unison..
    Now wipe that dirty smile off your face,
    Because my man does that to me too,
    But that’s not the love
    I’m speaking of.
    He holds my hand,
    And kisses my forehead when I’m sick,
    Surprises me with “Just Because” gifts, and
    Says “I love you” no matter who’s around.
    My Baby acts like a straight fool just to see me smile.
    He shares his hopes, dreams, and fears;
    Listens to me,
    And needs me…
    Just as much as I need him.
    Make no mistake about it
    When we do get it on
    Even the walls cry out at the intensity of his passion,
    But I can feel that same energy
    When he simply
    Looks at me.
    Yes, his mocha brown skin has my ***
    HOOKED.
    I’m sitting in class
    Thinking of him
    Giving me all the love he has.

    -Briana
     
  2. baller

    baller Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    BEAUTIFULLY scripted.:)

    your man reminds me of me.:) it's love when you feel so deeply for someone that you'd do anything just to see their smile...and cry inside when that smile fades.

    i love the way you do your do...Ms Briana. continue to love your man...he sounds worth it.

    1luv

    by the way, WELCOME TO THE PLAYGROUND. i'm gonna enjoy you.:)

    baller.
     
  3. redlady

    redlady Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    I liked this piece...on point...it's not all about the sex that has you hooked, it's the entire package! Welcome to Destee...
     
  4. Ladysoul

    Ladysoul Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Thank you Baller and Redlady. I don't currently have a man, but when I think of one that's what I envision.
     
  5. Jyntlbreez

    Jyntlbreez Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Great Poem!
    I thoroughly enjoyed the soul in your flow..!
    Keep em' coming!
     
  6. Ladysoul

    Ladysoul Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Thank you Jyntlbreez
     
  7. $$RICH$$

    $$RICH$$ Lyon King Admin. STAFF

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    being hooked dis way makes u more lovable
    yes u did it wit dis one to da love bone...........
     
  8. Ladysoul

    Ladysoul Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    $$RICH$$ words cannot express how sweet and kind you are!
     
  9. shyfreshbait

    shyfreshbait New Member MEMBER

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    I feel You

    :spinstar: :spinstar: :spinstar: I feel you on everything you've said. Iam hooked when it comes to me and my man.
     
  10. LiLi

    LiLi Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    i have to say the start had me like HUH!!

    LOL...the rest is just too sweet. nice drop
     
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