Black People : Home Trainin'

Discussion in 'Black People Open Forum' started by cherryblossom, Nov 9, 2009.

  1. cherryblossom

    cherryblossom Banned MEMBER

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    After reading the "Honoring Our Elders" thread, I got to thinking about "home training" and how, culturally and socially, those teachings were instilled in us, not just as a set of "rules" to follow but to aid us in all aspects of our lives.

    Many of our children today don't receive this "home training" and those who do have someone in their lives who is trying to give it to them, they don't understand "Why."---They think, as we did as children, that our mothers, fathers, grandparents, and other Elders were just "old-fashioned" and just didn't understand "how it is" in their day and time.

    Now true, many of our Elders didn't explain much. They just told us what to do and how to do it and expected to be obeyed (and woe to the child who didn't!) lol.....However, most of us, as we got older, learned to see how those same teachings served us well in our lives.

    What are some of the "Home Training" guidances from your childhood and what/how did that teach you about Life and people?

    How have the words of an Elder come back to you in your life when you met an experience that mirrored exactly what they said back then?
     
  2. cherryblossom

    cherryblossom Banned MEMBER

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    One of my mother's teachings that always comes back to me is "Follow your FIRST mind and you won't go wrong."

    Many times in my daily life those words slap me in the face even in small things...You'd think I woulda learned by now. lol


    When I ALMOST did something or had the THOUGHT to do something but changed my mind and DIDN'T do it, the outcome usually proves that I should've "followed my FIRST mind." :cool:
     
  3. blkbutterfly41

    blkbutterfly41 Banned MEMBER

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    Hey Sis, Good thread.

    We had many, But I believe the one that stayed with me the longest is one my dad used to say all the time............................

    Never listen to what a person says. They can tell you anything. Pay attention to what they DO. That screams volumes.


    ~~~ He really was referencing to boys when I was dating but It applies to any and all ~~~

    I have instill that in my kids as well. Many exercices to ensure that they felt secure being themselves.

    I'll be back to give some more. ** wink** And I still use yes, ma am and no sir when I am address my elders. Out of respect.

    Thanks
     
  4. cherryblossom

    cherryblossom Banned MEMBER

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    "If you're having a really difficult time trying to do something or go somewhere, it probably wasn't meant for you to do that thing or go to that place."


    I have "heard" these words come back to me often when a series of little "obstacles" prevented or detained me from something and it turned out that it was to the GOOD that I did NOT do it or go to that place.
     
  5. cherryblossom

    cherryblossom Banned MEMBER

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    Yes, parents should be the examples their children learn from.
     
  6. cherryblossom

    cherryblossom Banned MEMBER

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    I am so often sadly shocked at the things too many parents allow their children to be exposed to.

    I remember having to "Get outta grown-folks mouths."

    But today, many children are allowed to listen in and even participate in grown people's conversations and personal business. (smh)
     
  7. Destee

    Destee destee.com STAFF

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    Many adult men and women have been suspended and/or banned from here, because they lack home training, or the ability to demonstrate they have it.

    I guess home training is kinda like common sense ... not as common as folk make out.

    Weird.

    :heart:

    Destee
     
  8. cherryblossom

    cherryblossom Banned MEMBER

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    Well said and I concur.

    Yes, from the Owner to Moderators to Members, "home trainin" and "common sense" have not always been evident in behavior and speech.
     
  9. Destee

    Destee destee.com STAFF

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    Sister Cherry ... please show me where the Owner did not demonstrate home training and/or common sense.

    Thanks in advance.

    :heart:

    Destee
     
  10. cherryblossom

    cherryblossom Banned MEMBER

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    Sister Destee, I really don't need to give you any specific example.

    In over the entire 10 years that you have had this site, can you honestly say that EVERY thread topic you started was entirely "decent and in order?"

    Can you honestly say that EVERY decision you've ever made has been the best choice, the right choice, the fair choice?....or, in your eyes, have all your decisions been correct simply because you're in charge?

    In short, my point is, your previous response spoke to past and present members having been suspended or banned because they either lacked "home training" or did not always exhibit it and you compared it to "common sense."

    Well, likewise, even as the Owner here, you are just as human as any member here.

    You are not above or completely removed from any of the same behavior you've spoken to of others.

    So, at some point/at some time, even if only briefly, in over 10 years here, I just don't believe that you can honestly say that you have NEVER, not once, engaged in any petty or revengeful or provocative or unfair speech or actions in your responses or Administrations decisions.

    Again, you are just as human, just as fallable as any member past or present who has ever been banned or suspended for inappropriate speech or behavior.

    It's just that because YOU are the Owner, there is no official "moderation" for YOU.
     
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