Black People : High Maintenace Woman

Discussion in 'Black People Open Forum' started by UPTOWNE, Nov 18, 2002.

  1. UPTOWNE

    UPTOWNE Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    A female aquaintence of mine asked me this question here's her question and my responce

    " UPPIE I would like to know exactly what a man means when he says a woman is "high maintenance".
    Does this mean she requires too much attention? (If a woman likes occasional flowers and gifts for no reason)

    Is this too much work?

    Or does this refer to the woman who must have her hair nails and toes done on a regular? "



    It means both! When you spend a lot of time taking care of yourself you expect to be taken care of in the same fashion. Our(MEN) main concern however is how much time and money is required by us to maintain a relationship with YOU (FEMALE)! Most men will steer clear of a woman that requires high maintenance.

    Flowers, candy, a concert, a dance and an occasional trinket is cool. ( we'll give you that as a sign of commitment and affection)

    However when we start breaking up the group to do things with you, that require more time then we want to share. Or if we have to spend more money than we think its worth, just to be in your company! That's what is refered to as high maintenance!

    And the final factor, and its the lowest common denominator!

    " Is the coochie worth all this trouble?"

    Because when we (MEN) break it down its not so much who you are and what you do, its what I am getting out of what I am putting in.

    We can move on to someone who isn't about all the EXTRA'S, and just wants a friend, a man, a lover or a companion. And there's never any mention of maintenance at all. We just maintain!

    FELLAS am I RIGHT? LADIES what your maintenace level?
     
  2. Destee

    Destee destee.com STAFF

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    "Is the coochie worth all this trouble?"

    UPPIE ... if it's all about the coochie, there are women who sell coochie for a living (i.e., no/low maintenance women). They don't require romance, flowers, dinners, movies or any of that stuff, and in regard to time ... they want you in and out quickly. They may even be experiencing some effect from this slowing economy and willing to give you a two-for-one deal, thus saving you even more money, time, etc. If coochie is the bottom line, you may want to consider this.

    :heart:

    Destee
     
  3. Destee

    Destee destee.com STAFF

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    Let's see ... women cause you hassles ... while at the same time, women provide you a "hassle-less", available, and "cheaper" alternative to those hassles ... and still ... all you do is complain about women.

    Kemetstry ... did you mutilate small animals in your youth? Any heads in the fridge?

    :heart:

    Destee
     
  4. Destee

    Destee destee.com STAFF

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    you're such a good sport :love:
     
  5. UPTOWNE

    UPTOWNE Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    WOW! I am floored! This was about MAITAINANCE! I added the COOCHIE factor to keep it REAL! I think I was clear in my answer to my friend and left no room for misinterpretation. Yet DESTEE ya still got it twisted! I never said " IT'S ALL ABOUT THE COOCHIE" what I said was, that it was a determining factor, which men ponder while deciding is it all worth it. I gave you a glimpse of a mans mind, and you wanna beat me up for it. Telling me “hookers don't give hassles” I know that, and so do the men that use their service, but the question was plain and simple " How Much BS will a man put up with to be with a woman, how many hoops will he jump through just to jump in your bed” If you think that’s an invalid point of view, FINE but its a FACT! Heres a simple scenario (not personal, I am not directing this at YOU DES this is just a scenario a genral statement with questions)

    SENARIO: You are a fine beautiful attractive woman that is smart sophisticated and well kept out going you have money in the bank a nice home a nice car the only thing ya don't have is a man on your arm (a MAN) and that’s the missing piece. Men like you but they don't hang around long!

    Is it your maintenance level? And don't run to that old cliché" All the good men are married “ that’s true they marry all the GOOD WOMEN! My question is who said you were one! And since MEN are the ones giving the invitations to the alter, why is no man is staying around long enough to ask you? Could it be that YOU AIN'T GOOD ENOUGH! Or is your MAINTAINCE LEVEL a TURN OFF!

    And like FORREST SAID “THAT’S all I have to say about THAT!”
     
  6. Destee

    Destee destee.com STAFF

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    UPPIE ... did i get things twisted ?? ... my bad :wink:

    Let me see if I can get back on track because I do appreciate that glimpse into a man's mind, it was so beautiful. :)

    Well, I think it's like anything else you are trying to maintain. For example, if you're driving a Mercedes it's going to cost more to maintain than a Chevy. The parts are more expensive, mechanics, insurance, everything. So if you get a woman that you or she feels is "Mercedes" quality, but you have "Chevy" money, there are going to be problems. The good thing is you have the choice not to purchase that "vehicle," and get something more affordable. Many people think that a Mercedes is a waste of money. Tell that to a Mercedes lover and you have an argument. Different Strokes.

    Makes no difference if it is a "High Maintenance Woman" or a "High Maintenance Man," same logic applies. People maintain the kinds of things in their life that they want and can afford. My post above was to let you know there are some low maintenance deals available, if "cost of maintenance" is the determining factor.

    :heart:

    Destee
     
  7. UPTOWNE

    UPTOWNE Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    DES I already SAID that in my reply to my friend but I am glad you understand MY orignal question to you ( since you are representing the sistahs) was what was your maintenance level cause brotha's wanna know what they gotta do to be with you (now if we can't live up to that we either gotta work harder or set our sights lower) Some men just won't do it, others will say thats all I gotta do? I wasn't trying to be degrading or funny just real and I thought it was a question I could share since its a TERM we use and hear eveyday and DES I know with out meeting ya YOU are BENTLY!

    KEM if ya having that many problems with your a hummmm RIDE (attacked by pms) just get a YUGO you can leave em on the side of the road when they start acting up! (My real car is BMW Z3 no maitaince my wife has a SAAB 9.3 and shes stay's at the dealership and she don't complain. she loves that car "high maitaince") See I am like my car and shes like her's and I knew she was HIGH MAINTAINANCE when I married her. But like her and and her high maintainance car I do what I gotta do and don't complain. She's the best RIDE I ever had! so KEM kwitcher bitchen and just RIDE!
     
  8. Destee

    Destee destee.com STAFF

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    UPPIE ... I can't begin to speak for all the Sisters. No Sweetie, my responses belong only to me, they'll have to speak for themselves.

    I'm just realizing that you were asking what MY maintenance level is! I'm sorry, I totally missed that in your original post. Did a Sista get way off track or what?! :) Sorry about that.

    Gosh, good question UPPIE. I don't think I'm "high maintenance." Accepting and asking for money from men was never something my Mother taught, encouraged or allowed me to do and I still don't know how. Nothing can replace being able to care for one's own self. If we have progressed to a committed level, then each of us will be doing whatever we can to please the other and I wouldn't consider that maintenance. I'd call it love.

    It really is a good question UPPIE. I do apologize for all the confusion I caused. Thanks for putting up with me. :kiss:

    UPPIE ... I hope the other ladies and gentlemen respond to this thread now that you and I have gotten it back on track after Kemetstry almost killed it. :D

    :heart:

    Destee
     
  9. UPTOWNE

    UPTOWNE Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Ya know I hate to keep going on like this, back and forth. But like I told DES, KEM I said that in my original statement!

    KEM said " It all comes down to whether you think it is worth the effort".

    UPTOWN SAID " And the final factor, and its the lowest common denominator! " Is the coochie worth all this trouble?"

    Tell me are ya saying something different or is it just KEM's way of saying things? Yawl should know by now that I am RAW and REAL! And no matter how you try to dress it up you said just what I said! So just say I am right and keep it movin!


    Do ya read the whole post or ya just pick over it and pick what ya like and don't like and respond ? maybe you should re read what I wrote and digest the whole statement without PREJUDICE!
     
  10. UbZoRbShUn

    UbZoRbShUn Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    gosh this thing is so much in the grey area

    i mean if the woman is used to manicures and pedicures and having her hair did on a regular basis and she is paying for it herself and she meets a fella she is interested in, I don't think the fella should pick up the tab because they have entered into a relationship. I mean if she has a car and pay car insurance then it is not the fellas responsibility to pay her insurance just because they are in a relationship.

    I could be wrong because I have been marriet for the last 10 years, but ain't nothing wrong with a lil flowers and candy for just because reasons. That's romantic. When women start to demand that a brova get her nails/toes done hair did, pay her car note and all this extra and they ain't married then that's some b/s.



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