Black People : Hiding behind men

Discussion in 'Black People Open Forum' started by MsInterpret, Dec 26, 2010.

  1. MsInterpret

    MsInterpret Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    I notice a lot of women now of days don't have a back bone. They hide behind men and only feel good when a man is giving them attention. But as soon as a man starts to show interest in another woman or something else their confidence leaves with the man's attention.

    Why is that someone else owns your confidence in your own self?

    Also, we don't support each other like we should...we are quick to take the defense of men who abuse us, but turn our backs on the women friends who wish to help us. I have lost a many of women friends who have done this in the past.

    Men are more likely to be "Bros before women"...IMO they are more likely to put their friendship with they're guy friends before women...unlike women.
     
  2. Amnat77

    Amnat77 Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    good observations... i guess the problem is multi-layered, i have also experienced and observed the above....
     
  3. $$RICH$$

    $$RICH$$ Lyon King Admin. STAFF

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    Beware these are low self esteem women who put all there chips in that man
    if he goes so do there chips , why women do it , is the lack of knowing there
    true value and self-esteem
     
  4. cherryblossom

    cherryblossom Banned MEMBER

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    It is a self-esteem issue.

    Sadly, there are many women out there who "HAVE to HAVE a man."

    She does not feel "whole" or "worthy" or of "signifigance" if she is not somebody's woman/wife....if she does not "belong" to a man.

    A sad truth but true, nonetheless.
     
  5. Amnat77

    Amnat77 Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    they are conditioned and socialized to behave and think in that manner... this is why i said the problem is multi-layered....women who do not base their self esteem or self worth on a man or anyones opinion are called lesbian feminist.. ....
     
  6. cherryblossom

    cherryblossom Banned MEMBER

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    ^^^^ Well, I'm of the opinion that no one should place his or her self-worth on another.


    It is human nature to desire to love, be loved, feel needed/appreciated, etc..

    But, IMO, no one, man or woman, should predicate his/her very existence on the acceptance or approval of another.
     
  7. info-moetry

    info-moetry STAFF STAFF

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    peace

    IMHO, a lot of black women try to imulate the styles of white women they see on tv, such as those that are addicted to watching "soaps"....They seem to take on the personality of their favorite female character.

    I hear black women all day talking about how they can't wait to get home to see what happened on the "days of our rise", or "harlem hospital" and "one life to give".....lol

    It becomes part of their reality, so therefore as their favorite charachter suffers with her man on the show, so will that black women feel like it's ok for her to suffer with hers and stick with him.

    Those same black women i hear talking about soaps all the time (some of which are family members) i even catch them trying to swing their hair like white women and sometimes sounding like them. "I'M SO OVER LEROY, HE'S SO YESTERDAYS NEWS"!

    - Just one black man's opinion watching off in the distance.......
     
  8. MsInterpret

    MsInterpret Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    So you feel Soaps are the reason for some women to hide behind men?
     
  9. Clyde C Coger Jr

    Clyde C Coger Jr going above and beyond PREMIUM MEMBER

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    In the Spirit of Sankofa and Peace and Love!

    Hiding behind men


    Good thread MisInterpret!

     
  10. info-moetry

    info-moetry STAFF STAFF

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    peace

    I feel that it is a big reason why they do. Many black women emulate those white women on the soaps and act out, or become submissive according to the stregnth or weakness of their favorite character. Most women on the soaps hide behind their men, or husbands...at least for a while anyway before they try to kill 'em for one reason or the other.....lol

    I've got family who are addicted to these shows - and in each of their homes, or apt's you can find either a picture of a white jesus or a white doll for their children to play with...

    I've got a cousin who will hold up the line in the grocery store while she reads up on her favorite character on her favorite soap in soap digest, then won't even buy the magazine. Just put it back and leave....lol She can't keep a man to save her life and when she does have a boyfriend she never acts like herself when he's around.

    I know that's just one example, but i see and hear this everyday....A lot of black women today started watching soaps in Junior H.S. and it has played a big part in tricking black women into thinking that white women are in fact "women" and examples of what a true women should be...

    My sisters and cousins would raise hell anytime i would come into the house and change the tv while they were watching the soaps. Even some of my female friends in college. They would get to my Basketball games late sometimes because they couldn't leave their dorm until their soap went off...smh

    It's funny to me, but at the same time it's tragic.....
     
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