Black Women : hi ladies

Discussion in 'Black Women - Mothers - Sisters - Daughters' started by ladylibra, Jul 14, 2005.

  1. ladylibra

    ladylibra Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    i have a question for you:

    do you think that women are over-analytical? is it in our genes?

    i think that i analyze people, situations, or comments way too much. it is rare that i take things at face value. this quirk about myself is so irksome at times and i want to do something about it but i'm not sure what to do. at first i thought i analyze things to death b/c i may have a issue with trusting BUT that isn't so b/c i am too trusting (according to my mom. she has always told me that i'm too trusting and that everyone who smiles in my face isn't a friend)...i think.


    going to go analyze this thread :thinking: lol!

    any comments would be greatly appreciated...thanks in advance.
     
  2. JazzTheGreat

    JazzTheGreat Member MEMBER

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    Yes I understand.
    I analize alot, but it takes me THE LONGEST to trust. I learned the hard way... I used to be "Too trusting," but things weren't too good. But I'm slow to trust and I'm VERY emotional.
     
  3. ladylibra

    ladylibra Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    okay

    okay jazz,
    i'm done analyzing your post.....just teasing!

    i think i may go to the bookstore and look for a self-help book on this subject b/c it is totally maddening.

    i searched the net on this subject to no avail. perhaps i am not typing in good key words....who knows.

    i am the opposite of you....meaning, i trust until i am given a reason not to trust.

    do you trust yourself and the decisions you make? if so, this could alleviate alot of the trust issues you have. just remember that noone can do to you that which you don't allow.


    be empowered!



    btw- thanks for responding....i was beginning to hear crickets chirp in this thread. shoot, i need something to analyze :spin:
     
  4. Wisdom7

    Wisdom7 Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    I too ananlyze things to death and I always trust people to easily. However I came to realize that my overanalyzing is due to not really trusting in my own intuition / gut instinct or just trusting in myself. I thought I did, but it amazed me how easily I trusted in someone else and would be willing to go along with their decisions or views on certain things (after analyzing theirs to death) even though my intuition would tell me different all along. On some level, even though I didn't think I believed this but I must have thought on another level, they had their mentals together better than I did.

    Of course in the end I would be let down. Now I'm really trying to act more on my intuition which is instilling more trust in myself and alleviating the back and forth of analyzing. Sometimes we have to get out of our own way or get out of our own heads and trust in our inner guide (intution) even if we don't have all the why's and what for's, then the answer will come.

    Peace and Love
     
  5. panafrica

    panafrica Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    I would think a person who is over-analytical would not be trusting.
     
  6. Wisdom7

    Wisdom7 Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    I guess for me it's in the sense that I used to take someone at their word very easily as far as who they say they are and how they feel. Not all people, but God knows enough for me to learn some needed lessons. Then when their behaviors / actions are in conflict and I got that gut feeling, I might have questioned them on things and again go by their next set of words, hence the back and forth.

    Recently I read this quote that said never praise someone before they speak. And still to be careful, because sometimes people have motives for what they say and do. I know it sounds elementary, but I used to be really naive bit and just wanted to wear my rose tinted glasses all day and everyday especially amongst our people.

    If I went to certain events or places and ran into the same people and they were always so positive and uplifting, i believed thats how they were and befriended them. After we would get real cool, then the ugly side would come out, and they would be constantly gossiping or tearing someone else down to me, spreading rumors etc.,then go right back out and be Mr. or Ms. positive to the world. The same in the workplace. I was always happy as hell to see sisters and brothers dong their thang, and on some level wanted to let them know I was with them. Unfortunately, they acted the part, but as I moved forward and made it into management, it was 3 of my own who took me out! One was an ex, who didn't even work in my office, but was affiliated with my business, one was an ex coworker and the other was a coworker. I found out that they had told so many lies on me behind my back and my ex had wanted the job at my office before I accepted it. My ex-cowrker hated me because I had moved up to management and the remaining co-worker wanted my position. The ex mad plenty of apologies for all his trifling behavior, but after what I went through I could care less what he had to say. The remaining co-worker ended up losing her job after a couple of months, and imagine that>..my old boss wants me back! Not having it.

    The only thing that hurt the worst, was that I had so much love and good intentions especially with my own, and their the ones who stabbed me in the back. I felt so humiliated and went through major trust issues with people, and realized that just because we're all sisters and brothers and say we got each others back, we can be just as tired as the white man. So in a nutshell, I'm back to gravitating towards people who seem to have like minds rather than appearances if you know what I mean.

    OOOH I talk to much, I'm going to have to start trying to wrap up my responses and keep it brief!!

    Peace and Love!
     
  7. PoeticManifesta

    PoeticManifesta Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    I think.. jealousy is in our genes.. wanting romanticism is in our genes... the analytical part is learned.. or it can be in the stars... I learned how to spot a lie from media.. before I learned that I over analized and nit picked so much cause I was a virgo.. so I think its a bit of those two.. that.. and we listen to other women too much!


     
  8. Wisdom7

    Wisdom7 Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    I'm a Virgo too, with a Gemini moon. (can u say confusion!!!) The jealousy part ain't me, but the rest of it, you said it best! When I found out how others saw me and thought I criticized and analyzed to death, I did start working on that, but really they say we strive to bring order out of chaos, but I am a true romantic at heart too!
     
  9. jamesfrmphilly

    jamesfrmphilly going above and beyond PREMIUM MEMBER

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    yes, i think it is in your jeans. :jump:
     
  10. river

    river Watch Her Flow MEMBER

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    I just had to laugh seeing the long, analytical answers y'all gave. You're analyzing your tendency to analyze.:lol:
     
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