Beauty - Hair Care - Fashion : Hi, I am a newbie who needs a little advice

Discussion in 'Beauty - Black Hair Care - Fashion' started by JaylaMaria111, Mar 29, 2008.

  1. JaylaMaria111

    JaylaMaria111 Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    I am a black woman and I have a guy friend who thinks that nappy hair is unattractive on a black woman. For some reason, this bothers me. Although, I know he has a right to his own preference something about that just doens't sit too well with me. He has said some very negative remarks about natural hair saying it looks "undone" and "wild", very narrowminded. I have even considered ending our friendship.

    What do you all think of this? Am I wrong for feeling this way?
     
  2. Knowledge Seed

    Knowledge Seed Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    You are not wrong at all. It just shows he is so well conditioned that he would reject the natural beauty of a Black woman. Maybe he shouldn't be around Black women if he can't accept their NATURAL beauty.
     
  3. JaylaMaria111

    JaylaMaria111 Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    I am glad I came here because on most mainstream forums they would have simply told me to "get over it", and to accept his opinion.

    And although it IS his opinion and he has a right to it, it doesn't feel very right to me to be friends with a black man who thinks that my hair is inferior to straight hiar no matter how you look at it. I often find myself resenting him. We have gotten into arguments about this, and our friendship has been put on the line. Some of the things he says in the midst of the argument just further infuriates me and drains all of my energy..the way he describes nappy hair on black women as being "masculine" "extremely unattractive" is just very unsettling and depressing IMO. What angers me even more is that he wears his hair natural, yet he thinks it's wrong for black women to wear their god given hair.

    I have purposely not spoken to him in several days. When he calls I refuse to pick up the phone.
     
  4. Knowledge Seed

    Knowledge Seed Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    For him to wear his natural hair and not want the same for you is hypocritical and honestly just stupid
     
  5. jamesfrmphilly

    jamesfrmphilly going above and beyond PREMIUM MEMBER

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    get a man who likes what you got. next question?
     
  6. JaylaMaria111

    JaylaMaria111 Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    He is a friend, like a brother to me. People automatically see a situation that involves a man/woman and thinks it has something to do with possible romance, and it's nothing like that
     
  7. KWABENA

    KWABENA STAFF STAFF

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    Peace Sistah Jayla (if I may call you that) and Welcome to the Destee Family!

    Given the fact that we are speaking of a friendship, I feel that as a friend, you should let him know how you feel about his remarks, and tell him while he is entitled to his own opinion, you would appreciate it if he kept his comments/remarks to himself. No real friend will make you uncomfortable in any way, shape or form, especially if he values your friendship. Of course I am assuming that you do not do the same thing to him. Then again, like I said, it would be better for him to keep his comments to himself.

    Hope my .2 was helpful to you. You are at home here with the Destee Family!

    KWABENA
     
  8. jamesfrmphilly

    jamesfrmphilly going above and beyond PREMIUM MEMBER

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    get a brother who likes what you got. he sounds ill to me. i would not take the time. if you want to be abused, that is your choice.
     
  9. pdiane

    pdiane Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    I could say he is a self-hatin fool that hates his mama, but that would be too rash!

    How's this. He sho don't like himself. Has he looked in the mirror lately?

    What about this, don't waste your time!
    Can't change people. He needs to get a straight head woman and you need to move on!

    Whatever!!?
     
  10. PLATINUMILLITY1

    PLATINUMILLITY1 Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Guess I have a lot to say...lol

    The Funny Ironic Part is HE wears his hair Natural

    Hello Sister JaylaMaria(Beautiful Name:))
    The reason why He can wear his hair, the way he does is....It is acceptable in Todays Culture(ugh!) For a BLack man to keep his Condition.....Maybe because their minds are conditioned enough that they can withstand the Barrier of knowledge of self....
    Womens minds are more in depth and it takes more that just changing a few ways of life....It is eeded to change Mind and Appearance, Because in that aspect Women feel more Broken(unattached) so reconciling with her NATURAL self....
    Black men began to facilitate in a way..
    I know you have a certain issue that you are looking for advice on...but more understanding some of the problem might help as well:)(or I just wanna talk a little:D)
    I had an Older man about 3 weeks ago call me an angiemama, anchimima auntjamima(I do not even know how to spell it...smh) Then he told me to get a perm.........:SuN045:

    In a most likely case, I do not have to elaborate on 1. what i thought about that
    2. the propable mind-set of a BLACK BROTHER
    But then I wqent on to realize that African Men suffer also....
    When I took a look and realized that Du-Rags promote changing the natural sway of African hair...by giving "waves" The appearance of "good hair"
    (even the saying "good hair"...It's sad)

    Young men get perms so the can have Straight braids....EVEN FLAT PRESSES!
    It's a Contagious Disease.......Only few have the cure to....and it seem to be decreasing

    Sister please reserve your cure
    By you just Living Natrally and not submitting to what we "should" look like according to "others" You are saving a peice of the cure(I know I am Corny:))

    When That man says that you need a perm You let him know where he got it from!
    EDUCATE HIS BEHIND
    He will be mad.....
    But WHo Loves Him more......I am sure it's not the "others"
    If Black is Beautiful, Why Does Black Need a Chemical Change?
    Mch Love Sis
    Peace
    and GOD Bless:)
    (from on Natural Sistah to another:hearts2:)
    I hope I was of some help...
    If Not.....I'LL BE BACK!!:10200:
     
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