Hey people...

Discussion in 'Black Parenting' started by Cutefitfemale, Jan 25, 2005.

  1. Cutefitfemale

    Cutefitfemale Member MEMBER

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    :wave: Hello to all. I am a newbie to the forum. I just happen to stumble across today browsing, and I must say I am IMPRESSED. It's good to see black folks together helping eachother. Any ole ways, I just wanted to say hello and seek a little advice. I have a wonderful 5 year old daughter in grade K and for the life of me, have tried everything I can do to get her to stay in her seat in school. She's extremely smart, but has this squirming in the chair and getting out of the seat thing happening. Also, she is a very talkative. Her teacher says she is the smartest one in the class and all the other children look up to her. Any suggestions? I hated to admit it, but I am getting to a point of frustration. It's been going on for some time. I believe in spankings, but this is one strong willed child. I should mention also, I don't have a problem at home. This behavior happens at school. I appreciate any response.
    Thanks in advance,
    Cute
     
  2. panafrica

    panafrica Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Hello cutefitfemale, welcome to Destee.com! I would like to help you on this particular problem, but I am afraid I can't relate (my little one isn't that old yet). I'm sure some of our other parents can give you advice.
     
  3. HODEE

    HODEE Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Welcome to Destee Cutefitfemale

    I have a daughter she is twelve now. Children have growth spirts every two years. She is still in one. When the other chidren look up to her, it makes her want to interact even more. She sounds very outgoing, like my daughter. She will grow out of this. She is very excited being with all the other chidren. Just talk to her, and ask her to listen attentively to the teacher and to show respect when all is quiet. Remind her in private with the teacher of your expectations and all will be well. Ask her to keep the fun to the play ground and after class with her friends. Always tell her the truth, be honest with her and she will grow up to be a wonderful young lady.
     
  4. KWABENA

    KWABENA STAFF STAFF

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    I am not a parent, but I have deal't with children for awhile, so I will do the best I can do to help you, because that is what God wants me to do.
    To be honest with you, when I read your post, I said this will take alot of :thinking: , and it certainly did.
    Now then.
    Because she if five years-old, it makes great sense, than there is the curiousity. It is said that whatever type of environment the child is around for the first 5 years, the child will acclimate to that environment. Meaning, if you had your child around a learning environment for 5 years, that is how the child will grow up to be, a good learner. Did you have your child in day care? And if so, what kind of day care? Because if it was a day care - as in learning the ABC's, listening to staff read books, reading books, watching Educational Television, learning to count with the fingers, etc., then Mother, your are bound to see your child come home with Honors Galore! I would be very proud of that, because then raising your child will not be so hard when it comes to school work.

    Now to the issue.

    You said that she talks alot, and she is constantly out of her seat? Let me ask you some tough questions that might make these problems a little less complicated: When you were her age, did you do this? Or did her father do this? Because she might have gotten it from you or him. Genes pass on. I know parents who talk a certain way to certain people, and give birth to children who do the same thing. From my experience, it is tough for a child to have a trait that their parents do not have, or have never had. I am thinking either she got it from you or your father, or she learned it wherever she was in the past 5 years. If you work with her well enough, in time it should go away. As far as putting an end to it goes, I am not going to joke around on this part, but set up a system to remind her everyday to stay in her seat, sit still, and talk when necessary. I just thought about something - When you say she is very talkative, do you mean rude-talkative, or talkative, as in she speaks the most out of all the other classmates? Because if she is rude-talkative, you need to also set up a system to remind her everyday when to speak, and when not to speak. If that does not work, we will go from there.

    Lastly, you say the other students look up to her - telling ME that she is a ROLE MODEL STUDENT, and a LEADER. If she takes pride in helping other students out so that they also succeed in school, THAT'S GREAT! A 5 year-old female leader is very commendable. She has leadership skills, and that will be important as she grows up in life. Like I said, if she can set good examples, that should make it easier for you.

    By the way my sistah, Welcome to the Destee Family! You did not browse your way in here; the Lord set that up to happen for a purpose! He wanted you to be around the right people. Welcome to the Family, make yourself at home, and make sure you learn something while you are in the family. There is alot of knowledge this house, and you came to the right place for advice, because that is what most of us are good for, so look forward to it in the future.

    Get back at me if you need anything else. That is what I am here for, and that is what the rest of the Family is here.

    One Family, Under God!

    CD
     
  5. $$RICH$$

    $$RICH$$ Lyon King Admin. STAFF

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    welcome to the family of destee.com Cutefitfemale

    When my son was that age he was the same way but i worked with him at home
    sitting him in a little chair to watch T.V and eat many children are very excited when
    entering pre-school or grade K they have this notion to wonder and move freely but
    as she get older she will settle down , sit her on the sofa or in a chair beside you
    so she know sitting still is ok too again welcome and Good Luck sista
     
  6. Cutefitfemale

    Cutefitfemale Member MEMBER

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    Many Thanks.

    Many thanks for all the generous, heart felt advice and the extended welcome. Funny, I really do feel right at home. Much, much appreciation.
    Cute
     
  7. $$RICH$$

    $$RICH$$ Lyon King Admin. STAFF

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    relax and have some kool-aid coz you are at home
    just keep your room clean in this big loving house !
     
  8. Radical Faith

    Radical Faith Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Hey Cutefitfemale

    Hello Cutefitfemle welcome to our family sister. I can relate to what you going through because my child has ADD. When my son was 5 years old he was kicked out of pre-K and he was placed in LDS classes. He was very smart but his education was fragmented because he was unable to sit still long enough to learn. Some years later, with persistance, education of his condition and medication my son is in mainstream classes again. I'm by no mean saying that your daughter has this problem. What it sounds like is since your daughter is so smart she is losing interest with her lessons because she is grasping them at an accellerated rate. If this is the case you may want to get her tested, she may need more of a challenge. Also some children at her age have difficulty understanding the discipline required to be in school. This just equates to a lack of maturity which means she maybe a very intellegent but still 5 years old. Also it take time for some children to see other adults, "especially ones they don't really know" as authority figures equal to parents. Either way I recommend you get her tested to see if she should be challenged more and also practice discipline. Seating still when there are distractions, being quiet when it's time to be quiet make these things into a game and intend the rules of the game to school as well as at home. Establish a good repore with your childs teacher. Take some time one day to sit in her class. This is good because you not only observe your child but the other children and the teacher as well. If you can, unexpectedly pop in from time to time to check on her at school. This keeps the child honest. Give the teach your phone number and when she acts up have the teacher call you and speak to your child on the phone. If the message that they can't get away with bad behavior in school exists in their time at school eventually they will conform. Most importantly remember that she's only 5 years old, that is barely older than a toddler. So just give her some time.


    God Bless

    Radical Faith
     
  9. Cutefitfemale

    Cutefitfemale Member MEMBER

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    All this wonderful insight! Again I appreciate it. I only hope my daughter's teacher is not at that point of frustration. You know that point where the child is labled "a bad seed." I have visited her teacher in private with Rosa and asked her teacher that she not feel like she is a bother to me by calling. I asked her to call me at any and all times she has a concern. I also had to reinforce to my daughter (in front of her teacher) that she is fully expected to follow the instructions given by her teacher. I told her that while she was a beautifully, gifted, intelligent child of God.. she still had to obey :spin:

    From my perspective, I am a new parent. This is my only gem and I just want to make sure I am not leaving any stones unturned. Her grades are pretty much all E's (excellent), no fighting. Just that out of order behavior. Thanks to all for responding. Have a wonderful day.

    Cute
     
  10. sweetbrownsugar

    sweetbrownsugar Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Hi cutefitfemale. Sounds Like she's just exited. -Just don't let any teacher tell you that it could be ADD or ADHD and start talking drugs like stratera and that "R" one. Because some kids need TIME to grow out of some behaviors not drugs. I had this same problem with my 8 year old from PRESCHOOL to present. He hasn't really grown out of it. Last year I took him to a psycologist (Just to get the teachers off of my back) who saw "compulsive" behavior but did not believe in putting kids on Medication unless a parent REALLY felt it was necessary. I was "tearing" his butt up here and there. But it wasn't helping so now I REWARD/PRAISE him for GOOD behavior and self control. I also "put my foot down" and take away the things that he LOVE when he doesn't show GOOD BEHAVIOR and self control. And it's helping more than the "spankings". ( I still "tear that butt up" on occasion though depending on what he does)