Black People : Here i go Family ... venting again

Discussion in 'Black People Open Forum' started by Destee, Nov 8, 2004.

  1. Destee

    Destee destee.com STAFF

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    Hello Family,

    I just received an email from a Member, who opened up and shared so much of themselves with me. Some very deep, personal, and revealing information, and i'm honored that they feel comfortable enough to share such things with me.

    One of the things that they shared is that they are unemployed, and have been for a couple of years. Not because they don't want to work, but because finding a job has been difficult. Naturally, if someone has not worked for this amount of time, their money is low. But you know what, this Member is a Premium Member here.

    This Member has chosen to financially help this community survive, while struggling with their own survival. My heart was so moved by this, i had to present it to the Family. This Member's action makes me question all those who are here, and not willing to financially help. How can your situation be any worse than anyone else's here?

    This Member made me realize that probably every Premium Member that we have, is struggling to make their own ends meet, yet they value this community enough to help keep it here.

    How long can i allow these folk to sacrifice so greatly, while the majority give no financial support, yet come here to commune in the wealth of Spirit and love found here?

    How long can i allow this to go on?

    I want to lock the doors right now.

    It would be different it there were no costs, or if like the majority of our years here, i could afford it alone and didn't need any help.

    As i read this Member's email, my heart just broke. Tears coming to my eyes. The level of comfort and care that we've built must be very strong, for this person to be so open with me. Where can we go and receive such warmth and embraces? Where can we go, when we need someone simply to talk to, that may understand and be patient with our pain and fears?

    I really think it's time for everyone to recognize the value in this community and be willing to help fiancially sustain it, or simply leave.

    We talk the talk of unity, support, etc., but there are only a few walking that walk, and i know, it aint no easy walk. But i'm at the point where, even if there are only a few of us in here, at least it will be those that truly care. We simply can't afford to continually spend resources on those that don't care.

    I'm venting Family. I feel like i have an obligation to those Members who are making such great sacrifices for this community, by spending their money to keep it here for us. Not only to them, but to myself as well. How long can i continue to provide something that others see no value in? Or at least, not enough value to help.

    In closing, i believe we have a lot of Members here that are going through great trials and tribulations. Feeling alone and afraid, with no one to turn to. This community is so much more than just a "discussion forum." We provide a refuge for those who call this home. A place where they can come and feel safe, comfortable, and not alone. Where love is found in abundance.

    A special thanks to the Member that shared with me. All that you said, only made me love you more. I want to be here for you, encourage you, give you to know that you are not alone. There is absolutely nothing that could keep me from speaking to you. Thank you for trusting me.

    Thank you all Family, for letting me vent.

    :heart:

    Destee
     
  2. $$RICH$$

    $$RICH$$ Lyon King Admin. STAFF

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    Much love and supportive heart felt through this note of venting
    expressing and now comes the most common solution !

    I feel every space of this .
     
  3. $$RICH$$

    $$RICH$$ Lyon King Admin. STAFF

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    uppin dis to the family to see !
     
  4. hisili

    hisili Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    I have great respect for this family... but I can't help but feel ur tryna to guilt us into a membership.... Im sure ur intentions r genuwine but this is how I felt and feel, I'll b more than happy when I can help this community, but not to set myself back in order to do this... don't think I dont care about this Family b\c I revel in the love that resides here, this is how I feel and dont take this as a shot at urself.
     
  5. Destee

    Destee destee.com STAFF

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    Hi Brother Hisili ... i apologize if it sounds like i'm trying to lay some sort of guilt trip on you or anyone ... i'm not trying to do that. It's just that i'm faced with the every day challenges of keeping this community here for us, and it's not easy. No matter that it's not easy, it is what i chose to do. Nobody said it would be easy. So i sometimes (more often here lately, than ever before), let the overflow from the struggle within me, ooze out of me. Usually i'm venting to one or two or three individuals, not the whole community.

    But this person's email just moved me to do this, and i did it as soon as i thought of doing it ... putting no space between the stimulus and the response. I usually get a chance to have some space between those two things, and when i do, the overflow is never seen by the community.

    I'm only human and i'm always stressing on how to keep our community here. It's not just a matter of keeping us here, but actually being able to smoothly grow into ourselves (we're growing so fast), and provide an infrastructure that can support this growth. The growth alone can kill us.

    During one of my more recent venting moments, i came to the realization that this is not anyone else's problem. It is mine. I started this, and i have to come up with how to keep it going, if it is to keep going. I can't, and don't mean to put it on your shoulders ... though i'd love for you to help, because with everyone doing a little, we can accomplish so much ... but it is not necessarily yours to do, it is mine, and i know that.

    So please forgive me if it seems like i'm trying to put it off on you. I just get so caught up in it, so worried that i'm not going to be able to sustain it, while hopeful all the while that we can come together and make it happen. It's a lot on me and i don't mean to be lett'n it ooze all out on yall.

    Please forgive.

    :heart:

    Destee
     
  6. hisili

    hisili Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Im feelin ur love for this community.. and hope u dont think im tryna stir up things mad love 4 u and and ur efforts to sustain this community, and neva will I doubt ur intentions. I hope soon enough I can b ina position to donate to tha community
     
  7. Destee

    Destee destee.com STAFF

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    Brother Hisili ... :love: ... i too feel your love and your words actually soothed me ... i don't know if you could feel me calming down a bit, but i did ... thank you. The struggle to keep the community here goes up and down, and i go up and down with it. Thank you for being here, for understanding, and being willing to help when you can. That's good enough for me.

    Much Much Love and Peace.

    :heart:

    Destee
     
  8. Destee

    Destee destee.com STAFF

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    Brother Solo ... this is a discussion forum, where we are all encouraged to share the things that are on our minds. What is on my mind, is whether everyone will be able to continue sharing what is on their mind. So i began a discussion about it. It wasn't meant to make you feel guilty. It's just what is on my mind.

    We can talk about what if all 6000 Members were Premium, but that is not the case. It's a very small percentage that help financially support this community, and we have yet to experience one month that Premium Membership monies paid all out of pocket expenses for this community. If you're concerned that i'm getting rich, i've never made a dime. This effort has only cost me money.

    My concern for the community, in addition to the ongoing monthly costs to maintain what we have, are the increasing and inevitable costs going forward.

    It's been mentioned a time or two in this community, about Black sites that have died. As my experience grows i am seeing what could have happened to them.

    When you start out small like we did, and experience great growth as we did, your effort actually morphs into something different than what it started out being. What could easily be done by one person, with limited resources, becomes a great effort requring lots of resources. It's as though you work to become bigger, and in doing that, you work to increase your costs.

    I was talking to a friend the other evening, and i likened our growth to starting on a trip in a vehicle that only goes 30 miles per hour, with enough room for a few folk and their baggage. It's easy to manage, doesn't take much gas, but as you progress on that trip, the vehicle actually changes before your eyes and you are now in a spaceship type contraption, that can accomodate thousands, with buttons everywhere, zooming at the speed of light. Of course the 30 mile per hour vehicle cost less than the spaceship, but your natural progression in the trip required the morphing to take place. Whether you're ready or not, the change comes. (For those who have been here awhile, remember when we had to move to our first dedicated server, and then a few years later to our current server? Both moves were forced on us, if we wanted to survive. We were getting all kinds of error messages, experiencing intermitten downtime, all kinds of problems, the morphing was taking place.) Now if you aren't able to manage the spaceship, fuel it, pay for it, etc., you will simply crash and burn ... but there is no going back to the 30 mile per hour vehicle. It is gone.

    Brother Solo, to suggest that we seek less expensive services, trust me, cheaper is not always better. Not only that, but we need to be looking to spend more money, not less. We need to move to a multi-tiered platform. We really should be there now, but we simply can't afford it. There are costs associated with managing a community, maintaining server(s), providing support to our Membership, implementing new features, growing the effort. People get paid for doing this type of work. I have given my expertise to the community because i love it, in addition to my money and time. But going forward, i can't expect for others to do this, and i can't do it all alone. Server administrators need to get paid, software developers need to get paid, ultimately everyone needs to get paid, and why shouldn't they, if they are providing a service that is needed?

    We're living in a time where we could make a historical difference in our world (i think to some degree we already are, albeit small). We have the capability of coming together from every corner of the world, meeting in one place, a place that we enjoy being a part of. It in turn, can employ those from the community. We could provide scholarships, we could afford the best of speakers to join us, we could help a Sister or a Brother that needed some help, who might have been homeless otherwise. We could depend on ourselves, to help each other. We are doing that here in word already. We provide much to the Membership in the way of encouragement, but imagine if we could take it to the next level. We certainly can't look outside of ourselves, for this type of help.

    Perhaps i'm being too optimistic, or my optimism is misdirected ... but i believe in us.

    Brother Solo, i firmly believe that this is "OURS" ... but i have to be realistic when it comes to expecting others to help with it. When people who commune here regularly, feel no need to help financially sustain this effort, and are even offended when i suggest it ... i revert back to "MINE" in an effort to shield myself from the pain of this reality. If i own the responsibility, then i can't be (as) hurt when others don't want to help. Just the going back and forth is enough to make one krazee. For many years i paid for everything myself, and this community was "OURS" then too. I don't know if i made the comment you referenced above, but if i did, it's not about money, it's about me trying to face the reality of the situation.

    I find it very difficult to lock folk out of here, it undermines all that i want this community to be ... open and inviting to everyone. I don't expect 100% financial support from our Membership. I realize not everyone is able. I don't want to lock them out because they can't afford to pay. What we have inside is too needed for the majority of our people, to deny it to them. But that's not the case for everyone, as has been shared here many times. Some just want to be able to come and partake and have no intention of ever financially helping, though they increase our costs just by being here. How do i balance this? I don't know.

    It is this struggle within me that oftentimes oozes out all over the community. We will begin to see errors again. We will soon outgrow this server. It's really inferior as we speak, it's just that it still works. This current platform could possibly last longer if i limited the access to Premium Members only. I hate having to go here, consider such extremes, but if folk don't care, then why should i ... i don't know why, but i do. I think i care too much.

    A special thanks to those of you who care with me. Without you, this community would already be history.

    :heart:

    Destee
     
  9. $$RICH$$

    $$RICH$$ Lyon King Admin. STAFF

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    a few words ......
    TOGETHER WE STAND
     
  10. greggy

    greggy Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Destee....you are so much appreciated, words cannot do justice to that fact...OK?

    :eek:)
     
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