Quiet Poetry Lounge : Helpless

Discussion in 'Black Poetry - Get Your Flow On!' started by HSF Moe, Feb 2, 2010.

  1. HSF Moe

    HSF Moe Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    i can't take full credit for this poem. i had written the poem back in the 90s, but could never finish it, after watching "chaka zulu". it was the scene where chaka left for america... a very powerful scene.

    then a few years ago, i read a poem by ainsley burrows about the same scenario as the one in my piece, and i thought the last line--a one word line--was just so profound... it gave me the perfect finish.

    So that said:


    helpless
    remembering that day
    how the beams of the sun blistered my already
    bruised, beaten, bloodied back
    silent tears loudly attack, saying
    help me
    the heat scorched my lungs but froze my feet
    my love
    my one
    my firstborn son
    sent me forever scanning crowded streets for those
    familiar eyes
    thought i saw you--
    but no: my heart lies
    perhaps we will meet again
    in this life
    or the next
    but i vow that while my heart still longs
    my soul is strong enough to look and see
    i'll lift prayers
    that you and me
    will soon be free
    to the ends of God's green earth
    i'll walk with these
    tired, aching feet
    searching, til my blood runs cold
    remembering and regretting that i did nothing
    the day i saw my son
    at the auction block:​


    SOLD.
     
  2. HSF Moe

    HSF Moe Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    i just wanted to add, that what i had in mind for this piece, was not actually a slave who saw his son sold at the auction block...

    but an absentee father who realizes that he just lost his son to a life sentence in prison. a lot of the feedback i had gotten from readers thought I was addressing slavery, but it was supposed to represent modern day slavery.

    i buried hints about the sun blistering his already beaten back (father's previous bid in the penn), and the son looking back at his father mouthing help me. (asking him to be a dad and get him away from the path).

    so anyway, i have been trying to write a version #2 that would do a better job painting the picture. this was was so much cloaked in metaphor, i actually lost the intention by the image drawn.
     
  3. $$RICH$$

    $$RICH$$ Lyon King Admin. STAFF

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    great depth and very strong message
     
  4. queentswana

    queentswana Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Deep emotional piece poet.