Help with BF

Discussion in 'Black Teenagers - Teenz Exprezzed!' started by checker182, Jan 27, 2005.

  1. checker182

    checker182 New Member MEMBER

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    I've recently started going out with this guy but i'm scared that he is starting to think that I don't like him. I really like him but i'm just a really shy person. I don't know what to say because I usually say something stupid. Please help me.
     
  2. Destee

    Destee destee.com STAFF

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    Checker182 ... Hello and Welcome! :wave:

    You posted in the Teen Forum, are you a teenager Sister?

    What came to mind after reading your post ... is that he may be acting as though you don't like him, because you've not done enough to PROVE that you like him. Perhaps there is something else that he wants, that you might not have given him yet, that would make him think you like him. Do you follow me Sister?

    Depending on how old you are, being shy, not sure what to say, and slow to act is exactly where you should be.

    Usually a person can tell if someone likes them, if they are in tune with the friendship.

    Can't you tell when someone likes you? Why can't he?

    Is he in tune with the friendship?

    I don't think you should shoulder the weight of HIS INABILITY to recognize that you like him.

    That puts you in a situation, that means you must prove that you like him.

    And i don't think you should try to prove anything.

    If he knows, then he's in tune. If he doesn't know, he aint in tune.

    Just say ... "next" ... and keep it moving! :)

    This is the opinion of a Mother! I'm sure some other folk will lend their advice.

    Be careful Sister. Don't let anyone put you in a situation where you must prove anything to them ... especially at this young (if you are a teenager) age.

    Please make yourself at home ... because you are!

    :heart:

    Destee
     
  3. checker182

    checker182 New Member MEMBER

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    Thanks, what u said makes alot of sense and yeah i'm a teen, lol. hopefully 17 still counts as a teenager, lol.
     
  4. krazelyricks

    krazelyricks Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    OOOooooo, I used to be the same way believe it or not. My first boyfriend was a thug and I was too but I was not used to kissing or even talking about the kinds of stuff he wanted to talk about (i.e sex). So for a long while I used to push him away from those types of things but after a while I started to gradually talk about it and then I started to openly flirt with him about it.
    My advice to you is to gradually go about talking to him. It seems to me that you need to take it REAL slow, don't rush yourself. He knew you were shy before he even started to go out with you, didn't he? If he's so quick to get up and leave because you're shy then he's not even worth it. I say, if he's not willing to take it slow like you want then excuse my expression, **** him!! There are plenty of men out in the sea and chances are there might be one that wants to take things just as slow as you do. So remember, don't rush yourself and don't let anyone else rush you either. It might not end the way you want it. I learned the hard way. It was too late for me before I realized it so please listen to me, I'm the same age as you.......go slow......real slow.......because these days boys only want to rush. If you're shy, be shy, don't let him change you.
     
  5. miss-no-love

    miss-no-love Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    just explain to him how shy you are, tell him how much you really do like him. I think he will understand but you should try to open yourself up to him.
     
  6. tcr1223

    tcr1223 Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    be st8 up wit him cuz if u dont he really goin think sumthin goin but u aint goin sound stupid cuz at one point or another he went through the same thing and after u say how u feel trust me it will be a whole lot easier to talk...good luck and i hope everything owrks out fa da best holla
     
  7. SAMURAI36

    SAMURAI36 Banned MEMBER

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    I agree with this.

    I remember being your age, thinking that most girls didn't like me. I can't remember ever being TOLD "I like you" by a female, until I was in my 20's.

    From a very young age, males (especially Black Males)are taught to do all the pursuing, and females (especially Black females) are taught to wait to be persued.

    I'm not saying that you need to turn super-aggressive on him (or any other boy), but you should take responsibility for your feelings (just as he should do for his), by communicating how you feel VERBALLY.

    I hope your relationship works out.
     
  8. shortaay

    shortaay New Member MEMBER

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    Hey girl,
    If you are just shy then just tell him. I am assuming that you never had a bf before so that may be the reason you are shy. Well I am sorry that I don't have any suggestions to help you get over your shyness but communication is the key so I think it just may help in your situation.

    Good Luck
     
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