Black Relationships : Help Needed !!!!

Discussion in 'Black Relationships' started by dstny, Jun 17, 2004.

  1. dstny

    dstny Well-Known Member MEMBER

    Joined:
    May 27, 2004
    Messages:
    378
    Likes Received:
    6
    Ratings:
    +6
    Ok Bros and Sisters I need some advice, here's the situation....
    I have a neice who has a 4 month old baby by white male. Since the baby has been born he refuses to have anything to do with it and her. She will not listen to anyone but him, believes everything he tells her. He only comes around every two weeks and that's on her pay day and he takes her money.
    What can I do or say to help her see the light. Is there a book she can read, what what what!!!!
     
  2. MrBlak

    MrBlak Well-Known Member MEMBER

    Joined:
    May 18, 2004
    Messages:
    518
    Likes Received:
    9
    Ratings:
    +9
    Sit her down and tell her about responsibility and the fact that the BABY COMES FIRST. She is all caught up in this clown right now. She needs to see that if he only comes around to take her money and control her, and dont care about the kid, he is doing harm to the child. She needs to use that money for the child and you and the rest of the family need to let her know that she is screwing up large. They need to step to her and tell her to keep that fool away if he aint gonna support the child. Tell her she is being selfish be trying to please him (probably to get him back) while neglecting the welfare of her child. Let her know how easy it would be to have the kid taken if she neglects the child trying to win back that loser.....exagerate if needed about the powers of the child protection agencies. It sounds like she just needs to be "scared straight".
     
  3. toylin

    toylin Well-Known Member MEMBER

    Joined:
    May 17, 2004
    Messages:
    1,195
    Likes Received:
    17
    Occupation:
    Security Guard
    Location:
    Michigan
    Ratings:
    +17
    Ask her how much she loves her child, then remind her of her duties as a parent. First of all, how old is your niece?
     
  4. PurpleMoons

    PurpleMoons Administrator STAFF

    Country:
    United States
    Joined:
    Apr 22, 2003
    Messages:
    9,146
    Likes Received:
    1,097
    Gender:
    Female
    Ratings:
    +1,102
    Hello dstny :wave:

    As family and freinds, we never like to see our loves ones being abused in any way. We talk with them and caringly try to point out to our loveones the
    harm that certain situations bring.

    Unfortunately, many times our dear loveones don't react on what we point out to them. It's a lesson they must learn for themselves. The best we can do is be there for them. Let them know how much we love them and remind them if ever they need you that you will be there.

    I think it's a wonderful idea to get her some reading material that pertains to her situation, but that won't ensure that she will take the time to read it.

    When one thinks they are in love often they will go against the hurt that they may feel. Always hoping for that happy ending. Until oneday, they realize that things are not going to change. They become sick and tired of playing out the same old scenerio.

    Until then Sis, be there for her. Ask her what is she expecting from this guy and what is it she want for herself. Talk about her goals, her needs. Things that she dreamt of doing and how she can continuing to acheive those things. Don't even mention this guy to her unless she brings him up.

    In time or after she has tooken the focus off him and put it onto herself, Things will start to look much clearer to her. In the meantime, you just be there for her.
     
  5. dstny

    dstny Well-Known Member MEMBER

    Joined:
    May 27, 2004
    Messages:
    378
    Likes Received:
    6
    Ratings:
    +6
    She's 19 and still w/ her mom but she will not listen to anyone, only listens to him
     
  6. dstny

    dstny Well-Known Member MEMBER

    Joined:
    May 27, 2004
    Messages:
    378
    Likes Received:
    6
    Ratings:
    +6
    Thanks to you all for the advice..greatly appreciated :love:
     
  7. LibertyLady

    LibertyLady Well-Known Member MEMBER

    Joined:
    Aug 24, 2002
    Messages:
    2,082
    Likes Received:
    7
    Occupation:
    social worker...
    Location:
    Holland
    Ratings:
    +9
    Yes i think sister purple :heart: said it there :toast:


    and tell her that god loves her and him to ....

    and that you love them both and wants them to be happy....


    that its a blessing to have a child...

    that you are family and that you dont want to come between them ..

    just help ......


    cause you care...






    the fact that you came here sister asking for help says sumthing about you..


    youre beautifull sister :heart:










    Lovelibertylady:heart:
     
Loading...