Black Relationships : Help!!!!!! Ex-Wife/Baby Momma Drama

Khasm13,

Good morning love. At this point, I will have to put in the hands of the Lord. I am not helping the situation. I have removed myself completely emotionally. I do not even look at him if I do not have too. Last night he and I went to talk with my Grandmother who is a pastor. We both said what we had to say and she listened, then she gave us point of view, and praid with us. I left there feeling worse, because in the course of the meeting, I found out more stuff he and his exwife had decided to do, that did not include me. And all he could say is that he is being pulled in both directions. I have never felt so, hurt and confused.
 
Those are his children, with or without her.
If she never does anything he should take care of them.
If the role was reversed a woman would take a man for everything!
She has been raising the babies thus far.
Housing,feeding,clothing,there for sickness and health.
The kids were here before you and they'll be here after you.
Sister I know you are frustrated but never come between a father who is willing to do his half and more.
If she never gets herself together so what.
His kids are your kids and vice versa.
If you trust him then let him be a daddy
He loves you not her it's his kids that will forever be in his liife
They share children together and that's it.
No need to worry
You do what you need to do for yourself and him and support any decisions he decides to make as a father.:kiss1:
 
Cursed Heart,

Good evening. Thank you for your post. I do not know how much of my posts that you have read, but I have no problem with my husband taking care of his kids. I applaud him for being a wonderful father. That is one of the reasons I love him, because of how he takes care of his family, kids, me and my son. My problem is not that he is taking care of the kids, while she is getting herself together. My problem is him making decisions that does not include me. I take care of his kids too, they are in my home as well. He and his ex, cannot make decisions about what goes on in my home that I do not have a say in. He expects me to be a in there lives and to love and care for them, then I should included in the decisions that have to be made that concerns me as well.

I love the kids and there father. Thanks again.
 
mchinadoll said:
Khasm13,

Good morning love. At this point, I will have to put in the hands of the Lord. I am not helping the situation. I have removed myself completely emotionally. I do not even look at him if I do not have too. Last night he and I went to talk with my Grandmother who is a pastor. We both said what we had to say and she listened, then she gave us point of view, and praid with us. I left there feeling worse, because in the course of the meeting, I found out more stuff he and his exwife had decided to do, that did not include me. And all he could say is that he is being pulled in both directions. I have never felt so, hurt and confused.


Sister in addition to what brother Khasm has said I add this. You and your situation have been on my heart. Your husband has too see his wrong in all of this. What other reason would he have to shut you out? He may be confused as to what to do. Through someone else he must be shown his wrong choices. He should not be pulled any direction nor should he fear his children being taken away. Not to make this into a spiritual thread but I know no other way to get my point across. When it comes to marriage these are words that I live by. I don't know how strong his or your husbands faith is nor what your relationship is with Jesus Christ. Here is a simple scripture that I find says a lot...

Genesis 2:24

24 That's why a man will leave his own father and mother. He marries a woman, and the two of them become like one person.

I don't know what you and your husbands reasons for ending the marriage to your exes were nor does it matter, you and he are husband and wife now. This scripture says that a husband's wife is placed above his relationship with his parents so much so that he must leave his parents house to make a home for his wife. Remember honoring your parents made the top ten things God would have us do. These things are called commandments. So we see how important the wife is to the husband. Infact this was established before the ten commandments were given. Also this scripture says that a man and woman bonded in marriage are like one person. Thinking and acting as one. Unified in decisions. Complimenting eachothers actions and thoughts. A lot of people make the mistake of thinking a marriage is 50/50. A marriage is 100%. 50/50 means there is a separation, 100% means as one or whole. So if God placed a man's wife ahead of his parents surely ex-wifes and babies mommas shouldn't enter the equation. Look at Abraham, Sarah and Haggar. Abraham's first child came from Haggar but God told Abraham to do as his wife Sarah wishes and send Haggar and his son Ishmail away. Now I'm not saying you should tell your husband to send his children away but we see again God placing emphasis on the wife even when children outside the marriage are envolved. In the scripture ahead of Genesis 2:24 it says God caused man to sleep and took one of his rib bones and made woman. Whether you believe this actually happened or not is of no consequence. There is a deeper meaning behind this. Of all the bones in the human body why choose a rib bone? What is the significance? The ribcage protects a few of the most vital organs of the body, namely the heart. This is why immediately man had endearing love for woman. She came from a place close to man's heart. Also without ribs man could not survive. Pretty slick huh? I don't know if his Grandmother came at him with this approach nor much creedence your husband gives the Bible. I do know that even when we hear and know the word of God we often have to be reminded from time to time of what it says. If this is something you can use please use it sister. Again I'm all for keeping Black marriages together as much as possible.


Peace and Love
 

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