Hi,
I have issues in my home that is testing my two year marriage. My husband has two kids (12 & 8 boys), with his exwife who has just moved back to town from California. We are in Florida. She is living with her aunt (small home and 5 people living there), and has an infant from her estranged husband (says she is getting a divorce). My husband and I have the two boys here in our home, while she looks for a place to live and get a job. She has not worked for about 6 years, and has a history of running (back to her mother in Kansas) when times get tough. I have a son (12), who lives here in our home too. Ever since the kids got here, my husband has been running like a mad man to pick them up, drop them off, getting them into school. I support him as much as I can, but I work fulltime as Paralegal, and I am also starting my own mortgage business. While his exWife sits at her aunts and do whatever it is she does doing the day. Its only been a few weeks since she got here, she moved here a few days before Chritmas, but I feel a pattern coming on already. My husband has explained to me that he is giving her an opportunity to get herself together, and really wants his kids to have a stable homelife, which I understand.
Since she has been here we argue continuosly, because I feel she knows how bad my husband wants to be with his kids, and she is taking us for granted. She is still receiving child support during her transition (which I am okay with as long as she does her part), but I feel she should be made to be more responsible. I love the children and have been in their lives for 3 years. I see how happy they make my husband, but I see how hard he is trying to please her, and at the same time try and make me alright the situation. I am not alright and I will probably never be alright. I just want her to do more than call my husband 5 times a day about foolishness (how to get here or there). I am trying to be understanding and trusting, but I am loosing it everday. This past weekend we got into a huge argument about how he called her while she and I were at a basketball game watching both our children play. She made a point of telling me he was on the phone. He said he tried to call me but couldn't reach me due to my phone going straight to voicemail. I was insensed and pissed because he said I was being insecure and didn't trust him. I am not and never have been a insecure woman. I am very independent and self sufficient.
My husband says he's not going to give her long to get herself together before he takes it to court. I know he wants the kids, but I feel no matter what, she is going to run when he starts wanting to pursue custody and stop the support. And if he doesn't protest we will be taking care of her responsibilities, because if it wasn't for me he probably would do that just to have the kids in his home. I have praid and praid, and I can't see taking care of a grown woman while taking care of her children too. Please help.
I have issues in my home that is testing my two year marriage. My husband has two kids (12 & 8 boys), with his exwife who has just moved back to town from California. We are in Florida. She is living with her aunt (small home and 5 people living there), and has an infant from her estranged husband (says she is getting a divorce). My husband and I have the two boys here in our home, while she looks for a place to live and get a job. She has not worked for about 6 years, and has a history of running (back to her mother in Kansas) when times get tough. I have a son (12), who lives here in our home too. Ever since the kids got here, my husband has been running like a mad man to pick them up, drop them off, getting them into school. I support him as much as I can, but I work fulltime as Paralegal, and I am also starting my own mortgage business. While his exWife sits at her aunts and do whatever it is she does doing the day. Its only been a few weeks since she got here, she moved here a few days before Chritmas, but I feel a pattern coming on already. My husband has explained to me that he is giving her an opportunity to get herself together, and really wants his kids to have a stable homelife, which I understand.
Since she has been here we argue continuosly, because I feel she knows how bad my husband wants to be with his kids, and she is taking us for granted. She is still receiving child support during her transition (which I am okay with as long as she does her part), but I feel she should be made to be more responsible. I love the children and have been in their lives for 3 years. I see how happy they make my husband, but I see how hard he is trying to please her, and at the same time try and make me alright the situation. I am not alright and I will probably never be alright. I just want her to do more than call my husband 5 times a day about foolishness (how to get here or there). I am trying to be understanding and trusting, but I am loosing it everday. This past weekend we got into a huge argument about how he called her while she and I were at a basketball game watching both our children play. She made a point of telling me he was on the phone. He said he tried to call me but couldn't reach me due to my phone going straight to voicemail. I was insensed and pissed because he said I was being insecure and didn't trust him. I am not and never have been a insecure woman. I am very independent and self sufficient.
My husband says he's not going to give her long to get herself together before he takes it to court. I know he wants the kids, but I feel no matter what, she is going to run when he starts wanting to pursue custody and stop the support. And if he doesn't protest we will be taking care of her responsibilities, because if it wasn't for me he probably would do that just to have the kids in his home. I have praid and praid, and I can't see taking care of a grown woman while taking care of her children too. Please help.