Black Relationships : Help a sista out!!!

Discussion in 'Black Relationships' started by molasis, Mar 3, 2005.

  1. molasis

    molasis Active Member MEMBER

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    OK, here's the situation ... I was engaged 6 months ago. To a guy that was great ... the reason why we broke up was because he lied to me about a couple of important issues ... we decided to remain friends ... in our friendship he was telling me about these relationships with other women. It ever bothered me I was just there to lend a listening ear and give friendly advice. Well, his cell phone got turned off and we lost touch and we haven't spoken since New Years, until .... he called me yesterday ... we talked about what's been up with us. I made a comment about all the other girls he probably has been seeing ... he tried to make it seem like I didn't know the half of it. He abruptly ended the conversation in a joking matter by saying he was getting off the phone because he didn't want me "to get the wrong idea"? what???? So now I'm thinking about this man I was engaged to and all the reasons I loved him and all the reasons I left him. Since he is changing the good is starting to out weigh the bad ... so I was dying to call him today but I figured I couldn't sell myself out like that ... somebody please help me what do I do? Should I try to talk to him again or should I just let the past be the past and move on. Or is my loneliness beginning to consume my rational thoughts and I just want to pursue him to fill that void ... and if I do, in reality things will be the same as they were? :help:
     
  2. $$RICH$$

    $$RICH$$ Lyon King Admin. STAFF

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    maybe this should have been in the relationship forum !
    but anyway sista from the past he did tell you a lot about
    him and other women and it's been a while now out of blue he calls
    i think you should remain friends surely he has move forward and so
    should u let the past be , no need to hold yourself to be lonely
    from the deep inner love u had for him is acting out it's course
    no need to move into what could be a heart break of him cheating on u.
     
  3. panafrica

    panafrica Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Sister Molasis, there is really no such thing as a "little" lie. However if a lie could be categorized, lying about the number of women in his life is "BIG". An engaged man certainly should not have other women in his life. If a man can not stay faithful to you while dating, he more than likely will not while married. In all honesty it sounds like this guy is running a game on you. Just because a guy is nice doesn't mean you should be with him.
     
  4. jamesfrmphilly

    jamesfrmphilly going above and beyond PREMIUM MEMBER

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    what do YOU want in a man?
    what do you want in a relationship?

    if this person expresses all that you want in a man then by all means go to him.
    if he does not then drop him like he's hot.

    find some one who meets your needs.
     
  5. Monetary

    Monetary going above and beyond PREMIUM MEMBER

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    Only you will know what the problem is when you look back on it.

    However, he's been with a lot of women...so he says. lol Do you feel as if you missed out on something? Did you miss something in him that they see? You would have to forgive him for lyin' the first time...which caused ya'll to break up. Then, can you handle the fact that he was with those other women? Some women can't handle the fact a guy has been with so many women in the past...especially, if the women he was with is still around the neighborhood. And why is this guy not with any of those women? That's a BIG clue for you. Or, are you one of those women in the long line of women that he's been with?

    Bottom Line: He may not be ready to settle down. Enjoy your time with him IF you choose to spend time with him, but don't get caught up. He may still be bouncing around from woman to woman.
     
  6. molasis

    molasis Active Member MEMBER

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    I'm sorry $$Rich$$ I thought this was the relationship forum ... :sorry:


    Panafrica - he was faithful when we were together ... he told me that he never dated his play "sister" whom he lived with and another one of his "sisters". I asked if they ever slept together the answer I received was NO ...a couple of months later I found that they had indeed slept together. I honestly believe he is playing head games with me. :hammer:


    jamesfrmphilly - I have been told by 3 men that I call a man to task and that was expecting too much from him ... so I don't even want to say what I want in a man and from a relationship! :laugh:


    monetary - I forgave him once and twice should I just sit around and wait for the third indiscretion? He isn't with these woman because he drops them ... the only one he tried to hold on to was me and he messed that up ... whether it was on purpose or not I don't know. I am definitely not one of the woman in his loooong line of women he has been with (Lord knows he tried ... lol). Maybe I should leace him alone and move on with life.
    :garbage:

    Thanx you guys for responding!!! :thanks:
     
  7. jamesfrmphilly

    jamesfrmphilly going above and beyond PREMIUM MEMBER

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    every thing that you report makes this guy sound like a real loser.
    why are you wasting your time?

    i have very high standards for what i will allow around me.
    as a result i spend a lot of time alone.
    i accept that trade off.

    if i get horny i go down to the local strip club and sit in the back for a while.
    no one comes through my door or rings my phone unless they come correct.

    i don't have any STDs or bastard children.
    high standards have helped me stay straight.
    i don't see nothing wrong with them.
     
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