Poetry Critiques : "Heavy lifting"

Discussion in 'Black Poetry - Get Your Flow On!' started by robboy2003, Jan 2, 2007.

  1. robboy2003

    robboy2003 Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    I finish washing up my face and hands. I say a prayer and i'm off again. I drive on by people with smiling faces some wave and some may say hi,but i keep driving by,because i'm on a high or maybe a daze.

    Some say. "He's caught up broken like a well buck. He's sprung, hung and put on a rung. That man been spank and you can take that to the bank."

    Some wish they have what i have some wish mighty bad. To those who don't know its mighty sad.

    I'm in a tight ship with a lot of zip. The first time seeing this woman my heart just went. I gathered in for the long haul. Sexy brown skin has the ball after twenty still standing tall.

    I swerve,almost clip the curb dumb,but i can't keep from thinking of her.

    "She's there." sweat shirt all wet probably haven't eaten yet. I feed her and give her something to drink. She barely has time to say thanks. "I was trying to fix the garden." "I beg your parden." I undo buttons."You were saying." "Oh nothing. "You want to take this inside?" "why?" "somebody might come by." "I guess we better we could blind an eye." "Wise guy."

    I'm in a zone,and i want to take my baby home. She has a lovely face and she makes a man want to bone. No matter how many times. I still thank God almighty shes still mine.

    I need her satisfied. I don't know why. The mere sight of her makes me high.
    I flip,dip and **** near trip in between clean mean high thighs like always i enjoy the ride.

    We do the do and i'm ready for round two. "Boy aren't you through." " With you" "Never" "Oh what a fella." "Whatever" "My back is strong and i'm going to love you long on and on. I hold her tight with all my might this little sexy one here will know she's been done right tonite. We love like the end of the world. I can't get enough of this girl. We brreak free. "One to go on to round three." " Oui wi wi" "How?" "Why?" "You're tripping! "Don't worry girl all i want to do is rock your world,and i've done some heavy lifting so i can be a gifting.

    I take her, make her and kiss every pore until the woman says she can't take anymore. I let her get off with that but as soon as she gets forty winks i'll be back!
     
  2. $$RICH$$

    $$RICH$$ Lyon King Admin. STAFF

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    very nicely done and well created
     
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