Black Poetry : He said what?!? Bye?!

Discussion in 'Black Poetry - Get Your Flow On!' started by HaitianLovely, Apr 1, 2008.

  1. HaitianLovely

    HaitianLovely Member MEMBER

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    Hey, I'm HaitianLovely... on this site but you can call me Eljay. And yeah, I'm new to this site, looking for a place to put up my work and all of that. So here's my first post, a poem called "Bye?" that I wrote not too long ago. I hope anyone reading it likes it.

    You told me “bye” and I had to ask “what do you mean?”

    Because it felt as if a large screen

    Divided my comprehension from that dreaded word

    So I wouldn't feel the pain if it was to be heard.

    I couldn't understand it, couldn't put together the two

    Pieces that might have prepared me for what I was going to go through.

    The practice really could have helped too,

    Since I was to fix a soon to be broken heart thanks to you.

    It replayed in my mind several times, “bye, bye, bye, bye...”

    Until I was sure it was a siren with a more serious message to imply.

    Though I have a good ear

    I can not distinguish what I hear,

    So is it here that I am moved to admit

    That just maybe, music is the limit?

    The notes that fill my ears when I sit before a piano and play

    I do not acknowledge to be similar to the words we say

    But still, I always find a way to give each word its own tune,

    Making them clearly known to my understanding unlike the moon

    That calls peaceful oceans at the fall of night

    With its wise and gentle rays of light

    Only to leave the waters in a horrid rage after realization of the truth;

    The waters shall never reach. Now feeling as a betrayed youth,

    There is nothing left to do but sit and wonder

    At the purpose that lies under

    Events and visions that pass

    Never to last.

    And so before you, here, I stand

    Without a tune for your words and

    I've hit the cruel realization of this foreign word

    A position I would never have preferred.

    Today, you said what I never thought I'd hear you say,

    You sent me on my “merry” little way

    Said goodbye, bid me farewell,

    And sent my hopes, dreams my spirit, to hell.


    And there you go. Lol. ~1~ <3 LJ.
     
  2. watzinaname

    watzinaname Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    When someone says goodbye in this way, we think we have misheard at first, surely it's not what's said, but alas it is. I really like the way you incorporated the forces of nature within this piece, and I think we all can relate to this well written scribe.
    Welcome to Destee!! Make yourself at home, because you are!!!
     
  3. queentswana

    queentswana Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    One "Good-bye" ...is another's "Hello"
    Great piece of work poet, looking forward to more,
    Welcome aboard ...make yourself at home!!
     
  4. HaitianLovely

    HaitianLovely Member MEMBER

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    Hey, thanks for the comment. Nature is so simple, that's what I think makes it beautiful. I love talking about nature. Lol. And I'm feeling at home already. Thanksss!! ~1~ <3 LJ.
     
  5. PLATINUMILLITY1

    PLATINUMILLITY1 Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    WOW...For what I think is your First Poem here at Destee.....You have quite a first impression!!
    LOL
    Very heart felt poem
    Welcome,
    and Flow on
    :10200:
     
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