Black Parenting : He loves the breast...

Discussion in 'Black Parenting' started by phynxofkemet, Jan 5, 2009.

  1. phynxofkemet

    phynxofkemet Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    my son that is. So much that he's refusing the bottle more often than not. He hasn't taken the bottle from anyone but me, and sometimes he'll throw a good fit when I offer it to him. I have returned to work 2 nights a week; so him taking the breastmilk out of a bottle is a necessity. :baby:

    Unfortunately I'm not getting any feedback from the grandparents or the father about procedures and attempts so it's hard to know what needs to change. Everyone just gets mad at me for returning to my job that they don't approve of and leaves me to problem solve.

    I'm quite displeased about the lack of support from those that are supposed to be there. It's easy to buy diapers and toys and clothes; don't get me wrong that is a blessing cuz some babies don't have that. But coming from where I do, I expect more in terms of working together. I feel that there is pressure from my family and the father for this to not work out; thus my independence is stifled. Even though we are apart, I know he dislikes me getting dressed up and going to sing in a pub; & my kin believes I'm not putting the baby first; although I think being a welfare mom is certainly no step in the right direction if it can be avoided.

    Then the father complains about paying $20 for cab fare home at the end of the night - $160 / month to travel and see his son is 2much; paying the rent where his son & I live is too much. He "NEEDS" a car and his cell phone back - these are his priorities.

    I'm praying for a spiritual intervention, cuz I'm not looking back this year. I've got plans for me & my son; and that doesn't include being controlled by other's insecurities

    Back to the boob - I've tried 2 different nipples, warming them, and different positions. If anyone has suggestions on getting a 4 month old to mix feed - I'm all ears!
     
  2. Seksen

    Seksen Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Baby Wants Boob

    I would like to say that I feel your pain. Not as a woman but as a man. There are so many areas in your young life that need to be adressed. What I will try and do is adress the most pressing ones to you. We must first look at the big picture. You have a baby by a man who wants to be an absentee father. You chose him. Then you have his family who are really not interested in what you want for the betterment of yourself or the baby. They treat you not as one of themselves or their own. The wisdom or sage advise of both grandmothers or grandfathers is not present. Evidently You have been making decisions that will effect your life for the next 20 or 30 years without much thought. You take it as it comes. Not realizing that you are setting up the occurances in your life. You need to learn to plot out a course for yourself and your baby. You may be a single mom for a long time. A word for the future, if you and any potential mate cannot talk about plains in a practical and realistic manner for at least 5 to 10 years into the future, this is not the person for you or you for him or her. All of that said, the issue with the baby is next. The baby is right in wanting that which is normal and natural,moms milk. Now, mom has to use her brains and not emotions. The desire to feed is a natural instinct for you and the baby. Give your baby the bottle for feeding every few hours for the next three or four days. No titt. at this age (4)mo. cereals should be introduced also. To make sure that baby gets fed give breast milk occasionally as a supplament. Do this for a couple of weeks and the results will be what you want. At first baby will protest and fuss,cry and scream at you. By the way, my oldest is 40yo. next is 34yo. and youngist is 28yo. They all survived. Love You, Take Care...ImHotep
     
  3. BrownSugaBabe

    BrownSugaBabe Member MEMBER

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    Hi I have a 4 month old as well, I've been giving her breastmilk from the bottle from day one so she would get use to both (and for my sanity). I think you should be persistent about giving him the bottle he will fuss but keep trying. Allow someone else to try as well. As he will associate you with nursing. Patience is key.
     
  4. phynxofkemet

    phynxofkemet Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    thank you

    for the advice - I will stay persistent
     
  5. phynxofkemet

    phynxofkemet Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Thank you

    Thank you. :SuN040: Amen Ra
     
  6. muslimgurl

    muslimgurl Member MEMBER

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    Peace Queen,
    I have a nine month old son who is still nursing as well. I didn't know that I should start him with both breast and bottle so that he would be used to both. As a result he put up a major fight when I would attempt to give him a bottle. I found out that hungry children eat. Meaning I would allow him to go 30 minutes longer than normal and then give him the cup (he never took the bottle). You can try putting two ounces of milk in the bottle and allowing someone else to offer that first. Not to fill him up but to get him accustomed to the idea of the bottle. Then you can nurse and eventually he will begin to take it. Just be consistant and patient.
     
  7. phynxofkemet

    phynxofkemet Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Assalamu alaikum


    Your input is appreciated, and patient I can be... though this little one went 6 hours without taking the bottle from his:em2900:
     
  8. LovesDestiny

    LovesDestiny Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Heyyyyyyy Sis Phynx! Wow! I can't believe he is 4 months already...seems like just yesterday we were enjoying his newborn cries in the Boom Boom Room! Well, at least I was enjoying them....LOL

    I would have to agree with the rest of the family on this...and believe me it works! From experience, just apply a bit of tough love and make him hold off a bit longer than normal. It may take a couple two or three days (or it may only take one good time) for him to catch on but he will start accepting that bottle more and more.

    It's so easy to get use to not using bottles because nursing is soooo much more convenient...no bottles, liners, or other periphenilia to deal with. But it does become an issue when you have to be away from him for periods of time. I pray that the both of you will have an easy transition.

    As for the rest, sister you have to do what you feel is right for you and your baby. No one can make that decision for you.

    Be blessed my sister!
     
  9. PLATINUMILLITY1

    PLATINUMILLITY1 Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    You will get what you need sis. thus far other that baby not liking the bottlw, it seems you are doing well...he just picky..lol
    You are a mother and I believe you know what is best....if someone...is pulling you down...than they are not in your best interest or you beautiful child....I am a youngin, but I believe that you are a strong wouman who has all capability of taking things by storm....show 'em whose boss :peace:


    :)
     
  10. phynxofkemet

    phynxofkemet Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Back to work....

    By the blessings of OYA, & OSHUN, YEMAYA & KWAN YIN I believe an window of opportunity is opening... I'm going for it! :lift:
     
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