Black Relationships : He Cheated Yet Again....

Discussion in 'Black Relationships' started by unique, Oct 20, 2004.

  1. unique

    unique Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    I recently broke-up with my fiance' because I found out he's been cheating yet again. I was told by many people once a cheater always a cheater but silly me believed that he had learned his lesson. This has been a nine year relationship and its hard for me to move on. He's constantly calling and singing the blues and trying to work his way back in. I know there is no way I could possibly be committed to this man again since he is not worthy of my trust. I decided the best way for me to move on is to have zero contact with him or his family of which some of his family members I've become close with. I would like suggestions on how I can get through this storm, some encouragement and advice from folks who've gone through a similar situation.
     
  2. kente417mojo

    kente417mojo Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Never forgive someone that cheats on you. It's not worth it. I think you have the right idea to cut off all ties because it will just make it harder for you to move on. People can change and stop cheating...but it's not worth it for you to try to find a way to forgive them at your own expense. Move on....cut all contact and don't look back. There are too many men to waste your time with one that can't keep his penis out of other women.
     
  3. NNQueen

    NNQueen going above and beyond PREMIUM MEMBER

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    What constitutes forgiveness and what does it cost you if you practice it?

    Queenie :spinstar:
     
  4. jazzymoonchild

    jazzymoonchild Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Good Morning, Sista

    I feel your pain on this. I went through a similar experience a few years back with my ex-fiancee. However, when it comes down to it, it is about self-preservation. I say that all the time. You cannot allow yourself to love someone more than you love yourself. If you do, you will forever come up short. I'm not saying don't forgive him. As another poster said in a previous thread, the forgiving part is therapeutic for self. It has nothing to do with the other person. Also, some people are confused into thinking that forgiving a person means you are still dealing with them. This is false. It is in your control. I would not deal with him, not even on a friendship level, because you invested time and emotions in this man, and again he showed you what he thought of it and you by cheating repeatedly.

    Don't feel shame, sista. You love and you learn. Keep your head up.
     
  5. $$RICH$$

    $$RICH$$ Lyon King Admin. STAFF

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    forgive him for how he treated you but also move on so your
    mind is free from the pain and what he did , cheating is always
    a looser game so sorry you had to go through it twice it show
    he's not for you and you can forgive him but also let him go which
    seem best so you can move forward and let go the hurt of being
    cheated on ......I agree forgiving don't mean you have to stay with
    him and all ties as friendship / family members too cut it all and surely
    you will feel better this where the healing begins.

    forgiveness : To forgive for the formal mistake / allow room to forgive
    for error or weakness // heart held gage to solve self bitterness and
    feel free from the wrongdoer .

    which taken in two parts of forgiving many feel to forgive is to accept
    the wrongdoer and continue which may leave a lingering pain and un-
    trust feeling as to forgiveness for the weakness and lack of believed
    said which hurt you and you can forgive to release self from the pain
    that was stain or scared that allows to heal by forgiving but moving
    away from the past of the wrongdoer.
    The price you pay is when you stay intact with the pain
    and deal with the facts of wonderment and chances of it happening
    again or lost trust in the heart for that person that leaves a gage of
    pain and anger , cheating is one way to know it's time to move on !
    never promised forever.

    Good luck and happy healing from the cheater.
     
  6. NNQueen

    NNQueen going above and beyond PREMIUM MEMBER

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    Great response Brother Rich! :thanks: Take heed sister...for this may bring about healing and understanding for you!

    Peace,
    Queenie :spinstar:
     
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