Ok so....this has been eating at me for a while and I need to vent.
So about 4 years ago while I was an undergrad, I was sitting in class one day at the begining of the spring semester waiting on the professor to get there who was already late. 10 minutes later, Im sitting there along with all the other students chattering about and suddenly I have this vision of a man tall, very dark, masculin and beautiful. My heart began to race and suddenly all was quiet, the only thing I hear is the beat of my heart thumping at the very sight of him and with every step he takes, it seemed as if the moment was frozen in time and he floated. As if this was the moment I had unwitingly been waiting for...what was this? My friend called name and I snapped out of it. Before me was the man in what I thought was a vision as it turns out it was no vision at all. Tall, dark, sexy and everything in between. I found myself just mesmorized by everything from his lips,eyes, hair style of dress. I was almost unable to focus, I had to pull myself together to hear what he was saying, Although the deepness of his voice and strength of african accent made me want to melt onto my chair. This cant be, he was the professor...Nooooooo.... So for the whole semester I struggled and was triumphant in keeping my feelings inside, but every tuesday and thursday at noon I would barely hold my composure for 55 minutes ready to burst at the seems. I had a man at the time and I knew it was Taboo although not forbidden at the University for professors and students to date. So I shut up at my feelings for a man I barely knew but felt like I had known him my whole life, maybe even another time and another place. I just couldnt shake the feeling of a very strong connection to this man even years later when we crossed paths again.
So three years later I took another one of his classes, thinking that my little crush was gone and over with. I put how fine he was in the back of my mind and tuned into his class as I normally did and things were fine. We would often talk after class and actually got to know each other, then I would notice his very subtle way of flirting. Then I would think "naw" im just imagining this. Then one evening I was laying in bed it was again near the end of the semester and he was on my mind, seriously. This time the feeling was so strong it was too hard to ignore. It seems like the flood gates had opened and the feelings that I initially had came flooding back to me. I remember thinking in my head many many times, "please just call me, I wish he would call me." I thought this for 2 days. Dont you know as god is my witness that on the 2nd day he called! I couldnt believe it! I was blown away by what had happend. I had willed this man to call me!! As fate would have it we started talking on the phone and spending time together. At a face to face meeting he told me that he had feelings for me or the last 3 years but had been afraid to confront them and that he felt he couldnt hold onto his secret anymore. Needless to say I was floored, because the man basically poured out his heart to me that one night. But he also let me know something else...something that shattered my dreams...that he had a girlfriend...But for some reason it didnt matter to me nor the fact that he was 26 years my senior, and I was totally consumed by the awesome power of the connection between us. Something totally not normal for me. The main reason for this was because of the constant physic energy that flowed and continues to flow between us, I had never before experienced such a strong energy with anyone like him before. We definitely had the ability to communicate via telepathy and astrally something that was above and beyond me. As to why I had this connection with him and no one else...it still plagues me til this day and it doesnt even matter how far the distance between us or how long we havent spoken we still communicate in this way and I still have the same feelings...does anyone know how or why this could be? comments are welcomed...
So about 4 years ago while I was an undergrad, I was sitting in class one day at the begining of the spring semester waiting on the professor to get there who was already late. 10 minutes later, Im sitting there along with all the other students chattering about and suddenly I have this vision of a man tall, very dark, masculin and beautiful. My heart began to race and suddenly all was quiet, the only thing I hear is the beat of my heart thumping at the very sight of him and with every step he takes, it seemed as if the moment was frozen in time and he floated. As if this was the moment I had unwitingly been waiting for...what was this? My friend called name and I snapped out of it. Before me was the man in what I thought was a vision as it turns out it was no vision at all. Tall, dark, sexy and everything in between. I found myself just mesmorized by everything from his lips,eyes, hair style of dress. I was almost unable to focus, I had to pull myself together to hear what he was saying, Although the deepness of his voice and strength of african accent made me want to melt onto my chair. This cant be, he was the professor...Nooooooo.... So for the whole semester I struggled and was triumphant in keeping my feelings inside, but every tuesday and thursday at noon I would barely hold my composure for 55 minutes ready to burst at the seems. I had a man at the time and I knew it was Taboo although not forbidden at the University for professors and students to date. So I shut up at my feelings for a man I barely knew but felt like I had known him my whole life, maybe even another time and another place. I just couldnt shake the feeling of a very strong connection to this man even years later when we crossed paths again.
So three years later I took another one of his classes, thinking that my little crush was gone and over with. I put how fine he was in the back of my mind and tuned into his class as I normally did and things were fine. We would often talk after class and actually got to know each other, then I would notice his very subtle way of flirting. Then I would think "naw" im just imagining this. Then one evening I was laying in bed it was again near the end of the semester and he was on my mind, seriously. This time the feeling was so strong it was too hard to ignore. It seems like the flood gates had opened and the feelings that I initially had came flooding back to me. I remember thinking in my head many many times, "please just call me, I wish he would call me." I thought this for 2 days. Dont you know as god is my witness that on the 2nd day he called! I couldnt believe it! I was blown away by what had happend. I had willed this man to call me!! As fate would have it we started talking on the phone and spending time together. At a face to face meeting he told me that he had feelings for me or the last 3 years but had been afraid to confront them and that he felt he couldnt hold onto his secret anymore. Needless to say I was floored, because the man basically poured out his heart to me that one night. But he also let me know something else...something that shattered my dreams...that he had a girlfriend...But for some reason it didnt matter to me nor the fact that he was 26 years my senior, and I was totally consumed by the awesome power of the connection between us. Something totally not normal for me. The main reason for this was because of the constant physic energy that flowed and continues to flow between us, I had never before experienced such a strong energy with anyone like him before. We definitely had the ability to communicate via telepathy and astrally something that was above and beyond me. As to why I had this connection with him and no one else...it still plagues me til this day and it doesnt even matter how far the distance between us or how long we havent spoken we still communicate in this way and I still have the same feelings...does anyone know how or why this could be? comments are welcomed...
