Black Women : Have we been raising weak Black men??

Discussion in 'Black Women - Mothers - Sisters - Daughters' started by BlackEmpress, Nov 16, 2003.

  1. BlackEmpress

    BlackEmpress New Member MEMBER

    Joined:
    Nov 16, 2003
    Messages:
    3
    Likes Received:
    0
    Ratings:
    +0
    Just a question I would like to put out...
     
  2. Destee

    Destee destee.com STAFF

    Country:
    United States
    Joined:
    Jan 22, 2001
    Messages:
    34,804
    Likes Received:
    8,986
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    betwixt and between
    Ratings:
    +9,689
    Hello BlackEmpress ... Welcome to the Family ! :wave:

    I think your question is a reasonable one and appreciate you asking it. Briefly, i do believe that far too many Black men have been raised without a Father and are in fact missing some major foundational support on which to build their lives. Unfortunately, it's not just Black men, but Black women too, that suffer from this. While there are many things that impact a life, missing this foundational support can only weaken the child, in spite of how unaffected they may appear.

    Please, make yourself at home, because you are.

    :heart:

    Destee
     
  3. NNQueen

    NNQueen going above and beyond PREMIUM MEMBER

    Country:
    United States
    Joined:
    Feb 9, 2001
    Messages:
    6,379
    Likes Received:
    1,434
    Gender:
    Female
    Ratings:
    +1,869
    I don't know exactly what is meant by the word 'weak' in the topic of this thread, but I'm sure it can have different definitions depending on different perspectives. Some might say that because I'm woman, I couldn't see this, but I don't view this question as an insult to Black men.

    I'm glad that Black people have a different community viewpoint than whites. I'm glad that we see a need to analyze the many parts of the community, to see what makes it work and what doesn't. Racism has many influences on the mind. It could either make you see the glass as being half empty or half full. It's all about perspective.

    Raising Black youth (men and women) to simply blend in with mainstrearm American society, could be viewed as a weakness. Some of our children only want to pursue the 'American Dream." Black parents allowing their children (men and women) to be consumed and controlled by mindless and mind altering activities put there to manipulate them to the advantage of and to cater to the dominant society, are raising 'weak' adults.

    There's a saying that you get out what you put into something. Parenting is a major responsibility and should be taken very seriously. Whether it be a single parent or two-parent home, to me, it's all about what parents are teaching and demonstrating to their children. They will take away from you, the good and the bad.

    MHO
     
  4. BlackEmpress

    BlackEmpress New Member MEMBER

    Joined:
    Nov 16, 2003
    Messages:
    3
    Likes Received:
    0
    Ratings:
    +0
    This question which I posed was in no way shape or form meant to disrespect my Black brothers, it is simply a question that I have indeed heard, not from any book or movie, but by mothers who are or have raised sons. They have questioned (and I feel are justified doing so) their parenting especially as a single mother.
     
  5. Destee

    Destee destee.com STAFF

    Country:
    United States
    Joined:
    Jan 22, 2001
    Messages:
    34,804
    Likes Received:
    8,986
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    betwixt and between
    Ratings:
    +9,689
    Brother Isanusu ... this is a community made especially for Black folk and we will always have a majority of discussion, questions, etc., about Black men, women and children. I don't know why you expect discussions about white folk to be equally represented or even mentioned.

    Both Queenie and myself mentioned the fact that none of this applies to men only.

    In addition, you are welcome to start as many threads about women as you'd like. Matter of fact, i remember one specifically you started, PMS Put Me Straight, where you ask,
    This is insulting in my opinion, but i was willing to give you the benefit of the doubt, as you should give this Sister.

    I'm sure she's just seeking information, as you were in your thread.

    :heart:

    Destee
     
  6. Khasm13

    Khasm13 STAFF STAFF

    Country:
    United States
    Joined:
    Mar 26, 2003
    Messages:
    10,784
    Likes Received:
    4,235
    Gender:
    Male
    Ratings:
    +4,471
    the question is a valid one because nowdays a disturbing amount of black families are single household families...i see it everyday with my lil nephew...i try to be there for him as much as possible, but growing up around nothing but women, i believe, has stagnated his growth a lil...sometimes i have to be big bad mean uncle just for him to listen...if his father was in the picture this might be a different case, but maybe not...i do know that black people need to really think of our seperate issues(male and female) as just one set of issues...because seperating them i believe plays into the jim crow mentality that has plauged our people for quite some time...im sure if da brothers had a forum that talked about black men issues with sistas...there would be a lot of :mad: and angry black women on this site...cause to me, a black womans problem is my problem, along with my problems being my problem...because black women are my queen and my link to the future...i hope this makes sense...
    peace
    khasm
     
  7. cherryblossom

    cherryblossom Banned MEMBER

    Joined:
    Feb 28, 2009
    Messages:
    19,252
    Likes Received:
    5,505
    Gender:
    Female
    Ratings:
    +5,560
    'Kinda depends on whatcha mean by "raising."


    We do our sons and daughters a disservice by catering to their every want.
    Their sense of entitlement is fed and encouraged by the behavior of their parent or parents.

    So, if a single mother or a two parent home is more a "friend" to their children than parents, then, YES, they're likely to release "weak," immature, lazy and selfish "adult males" into society who may likely remain "adult males" well into their 20s, 30s, and 40s.

    And I say "adult males" because that's not the same as being a MAN.
     
  8. jamesfrmphilly

    jamesfrmphilly going above and beyond PREMIUM MEMBER

    Country:
    United States
    Joined:
    Jun 18, 2004
    Messages:
    32,019
    Likes Received:
    11,483
    Gender:
    Male
    Occupation:
    retired computer geek
    Location:
    north philly ghetto
    Ratings:
    +13,748
    you do not raise your children....

    the system of global white supremacy does
     
  9. WARRIOR

    WARRIOR BAMN - By Any Means Necessary PREMIUM MEMBER

    Country:
    United States
    Joined:
    Apr 28, 2009
    Messages:
    850
    Likes Received:
    276
    Gender:
    Male
    Occupation:
    RETIRED
    Location:
    STRONG ISLAND , NY
    Ratings:
    +299
    I WAS CALLED WEAK.....

    FOR WALKING AWAY WHEN A BIGGER BOY HIT ME......

    FOR WALKING AWAY WHEN A GIRL DISRESPECTED ME.....

    FOR NOT BEATING A GUY UP WHEN HE STOLE FROM ME....

    FOR NOT BEATING A WOMAN UP WHEN SHE CHEATED ON ME....

    FOR NOT PULLING THE TRIGGER ON A YOUNGSTER THAT VANDALIZED OUR CHURCH...

    FOR REFUSING TO ARGUE ABOUT BLACK WOMEN NURTURING THEIR RESENTMENT FOR BLACK MEN.....


    THE ONLY THING THAT MAKES SENSE HERE IS THAT I KEPT SOME VERY NEGATIVE COMPANY FOR MANY YEARS.....AND I AGREE WITH YOU JAMESFROMPHILLY.....

    45 YEARS AGO THERE WERE WAY MORE TWO-PARENT BLACK HOUSEHOLDS THAN TODAY....IN MY OPINION , SELFISHNESS IS MOSTLY TO BLAME .

    HOWEVER , THE FREEER WE GOT , THE MORE IGNORANT WE BECAME....THEREFORE , STRUCTURE AS A COMMON WHOLE WAS LOST......

    I DO NOT BELIEVE WE ARE RAISING WEAK BLACK MEN......

    I BELIEVE THAT TOO MANY OF US AS PARENTS HAVE USED PRIDE & DENIAL AS SHIELDS OF PROTECTION AGAINST HISTORY & TRUTH....

    AND THE RESULT.....LOST , CONFUSED , HOPELESS , ARROGANT & MISGUIDED CHILDREN WERE PRODUCED.....


    WARRIOR
     
  10. Tribal_House

    Tribal_House Well-Known Member MEMBER

    Joined:
    May 31, 2009
    Messages:
    55
    Likes Received:
    14
    Location:
    Florida
    Ratings:
    +14
    I didn't think we could post on this side of the forum, I would like to add my 4 cents. I do feel that alot of sisters are taking for granted what it takes for the young brothers to become a man, if you didn't have a father in your own life you really won't have nothing to compare it to. The percentages of single mothers raising succesful black men are not as great as we would like to believe. Alot of our young men find their own identity and as you know when something grows not unde controlled conditions it grows wild. One one of the other message boards I am one of the brothers told us how one day while in the kitchen with his mom and aunt. His aunt says to his mother he was going to end up with a white girl and the aunt reasoning behind saying that was because he nephew(the brotha) was too nice for black women. For the record it wasn't me my aunt and my mother weren't close at all. I have taken my son to the park consistently and have gotten disgusted by how many times I hear these mothers saying to their son don't go up the slide that way or don't climb up there. I can't count how many times my son and some other little boy started wrestling and some mother put a stop to it because she was afraid they were going to get hurt. The boys were either on sand or grass. Of course I get this hostile look. ****! Let boys be boys no one stopped us from wrestling. To many of our brothers are being groomed for the thug lifestyle. Mothers dressing their boys in hip hop gear not making the correlation between dressing their son's like that at 2 and 3 years old and the level of comfort that develops with them having being used to dressing like that.

    There are 2 brothers that I have kept up with who are now 17 and 19, I came into their life when they were 7 and 9. If you were to ask them they would tell you I am the closes thing to a father they have.These boys are not bad have found themselves in trouble. I got put with them alot being they initially lived directly behind me and I attended their church a few times in the beginning. I would assume the mom was looking for a surrogate not to mentor her boys but to free her up so she can be more available to her pastor that had her under lock and key in the beginning and yes he was married. He come a calling and she went a running. The boys got to spend more than enough quality time with me.

    Sisters could help each other out so much by making a effort to form relationship with males no matter how platonic it is. Not to mention children whether boys or girls do not need to be sitting their butts in beauty salons or barshops directly in earshot of the gossiping going on. If you have a boy and he has to get his haircut don't drop him off and leave.
     
Loading...

Users found this page by searching for:

  1. black men are weak

    ,
  2. weak black men

    ,
  3. black men are encouraged to be weak

    ,
  4. why are black men so weak,
  5. weak angry black man