Black Relationships : Have Any Members Here Dated Interracially? Any Regrets?

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Riada said:
James, I sometimes get sly remarks made at me about me dating my Nigerian boyfriend and when I tell people we may get married, I get raised eyebrows in a less than positive way. One AA guy even asked me whether I thought African men were better or something. I was even criticized on this board for dating an African man. During my youth and less understanding days, I used to be critical sometimes when I saw AAs with others, but I’ve seen enough unhappiness between men and women in relationships during my life to teach me that as long as a person is happy with whoever they’re with, I should be happy for them. Why can’t we just be happy with whoever we choose to be with and be left alone and not picked apart by our brothers and sisters? I wonder sometimes what is really at the root of this?
for me it comes down to your priorities.
if you put the interest of black people first and you are Afrocentric you will not be available to other races.
 
jamesfrmphilly said:
for me it comes down to your priorities.
if you put the interest of black people first and you are Afrocentric you will not be available to other races.

I don't agree with this opinion, but at least you did put it respectfully without damning the demographics this pertains to. So on that issue I agree to disagree.

It still doesn't change the fact though, that as long as these types of threads stay open the more people will make their opinions which may not match up with this perspective. If the threads are allowed and members post, they must be allowed to say their piece without undue antagonism, suspicion or whatever.
 
karmashines said:
I don't agree with this opinion, So on that issue I agree to disagree..
how can a person put the interests of the group, black people, before their own personal romantic or sexual desires and still be available to other races?
in what way does IR benefit the group?
 
jamesfrmphilly said:
how can a person put the interests of the group, black people, before their own personal romantic or sexual desires and still be available to other races?
in what way does IR benefit the group?

I am not going to continue to argue this when I have stated I agree to disagree. No amount of arguing is going to get you to see my opinion, and neither will I see yours. But I still stand by being able to respect members, including those you think are anti-black, tom or whatever.

Why? Well, when it comes to a black organization that purports to embrace everyone, then it needs to stand by its word. I care about the people's contribution along with whether or not they are following the rules; such as posting peacefully. If they can do these things, then that's what matters to me, period.

If black empowerment is to be had, excluding people because they let certain things known about their lives (when the threads were allowed to be continued), isn't going to help the issue. Lord knows, if I had known disclosing things about my life would've caused so many problems, I would've suppressed that information. But when I see threads like this allowed and people talking, or if I receive a response that's nice (I don't agree but that's your life) type of response, then I don't know what to share and what not to share.

So if black organizations think people in IR are that detrimental to the cause, they need to be banned at the outset, meaning there needs to be clear disclaimers... people with non-black spouses and/or biracial children aren't allowed. So you won't have to deal with them, their opinions and their own visions of black empowerment. Unless this happens these groups will continue to participate. Obviously, they are not defining themselves by a 'black-only' type of mindset when getting involved in activism.

In conclusion, the people in IR that contribute to black causes have their own definition of empowerment that may not match another. People can agree with it or not, but if they can't post peacefully with these members then that's when problems erupt. So if a black organization is going to be successful in bringing black people together, they will either deal peacefully with different lifestyles (even if there's disagreement on what is black and what isn't), or they can prevent these types of members from joining from the outset.
 
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