Black Relationships : HARD-WIRING OF WOMEN...

Hey There Sista Queenie,,I am slowly getting back into the flow sis...hoping to come to chat soon :)

These are very good points, first off I was a natural Tom Boy because there was no girls on my block to play with when I was a child, so I played with the boys games like football, baseball. I liked wrestling as well as Boxing I enjoyed these sports much more then dolls even those I had dolls I rather play football, it wasn't until I reach a certain age in my life, around 11 or 12 that the more softer and seriuos side of me came to light, and I think it had a lot to do with the responsibility placed upon me by my alders to watch the younger ones in my family, keep them out of trouble entertain them , feed them, I guess it all came out to mothering them, but then again I was the oldest so I don't think it matter that I was a girl, but that I was the oldest. The maternal instinct of wanting to have children hit in my late teens, and reason had to guide my heart during those times not to let it happen. And then I notice that this instinct would come almost every 2 to 3 years, even now. It's natural. I feel we all born with an instinct that is trigger during a certan period of our growth that is a natural part of our sexuality, it is just some of the craziness that is going in this world interferes with the natural process
 
Unlike some sisters I was not drawn to baby dolls. I would rather have a bat and a softball or something of that nature. You would either find me curled up with my favorite book or trying to dig up a game to play. My hard-wiring came in my need to help people. i have a certain predisposition to help out other people... be their savior. i hate injustice on any level. i'm a provider. i will work in a minute. i will pick an extra hustle in a minute to take care of business or home. i have always done so... even before i had children. i take care of the people around me... that has gotten me burned on more than one occassion. i am hard wired to trust people... even now i think... why would someone lie to me. why would they go out their way to be malicious? i have faith in people. i'm hard-wired to think everything will be okay. no matter what the situation. it hardly occurs to me that things may turn out badly....back to the aforementioned... i never had an affinity for dolls; however, i've always loved babies. i love babies. lord knows if i could i would have a house full of them. i loved to cook and be surrounded by family. i am hard wired to take care of my family... by any means neccessary....

if that makes any sense zay... letme know if it doesn't... i'll try to clean it up.
 
This is a very interesting question.

Some children don't get the strict gender socialization that others get and maybe that's where you can see how much is hard vs. soft wiring.

When I was a girl, I could get up a tree and run faster than most boys. I was very strong and fought "real" fights with boys--won some and lost some. During all this time, I loved playing with dolls and liked sewing. I was never told that there was anything wrong or strange about this. Most of my girl cousins did the same thing.

When I hit puberty at 12, I wasn't allowed to fight boys anymore or rip and run with them. I HATED being a girl. I definitely preferred being boyish. Boys had all the fun. LOL!

Then when I was about 15, I got into a fight with one of my boy cousins who was 17, and he almost broke my arm. Boy, was I SHOCKED because I had been able to beat him when we were younger. I couldn't figure out how he had managed to get so much stronger than me. LOL!! I still wonder what would have happened if I had been allowed to climb, run, and fight with boys all during those years. Would I have been as strong, or almost as strong as my cousin?

Anyway, I know I was hard-wired to be maternal because for some reason, I'm just very maternal and when I think back, I've always been so. I was also hard-wired to be a hereosexual female because when you consider my "boyish" childhood, it would seem that I could have developed an interest in girls. Instead, I am exclusively hetero in every respect.

If I ever have a daughter, I'm going to let her climb, run, and fight with boys as long as she wants.
 
IfUComeSoftly said:
Unlike some sisters I was not drawn to baby dolls. I would rather have a bat and a softball or something of that nature. You would either find me curled up with my favorite book or trying to dig up a game to play. My hard-wiring came in my need to help people. i have a certain predisposition to help out other people... be their savior. i hate injustice on any level. i'm a provider. i will work in a minute. i will pick an extra hustle in a minute to take care of business or home. i have always done so... even before i had children. i take care of the people around me... that has gotten me burned on more than one occassion. i am hard wired to trust people... even now i think... why would someone lie to me. why would they go out their way to be malicious? i have faith in people. i'm hard-wired to think everything will be okay. no matter what the situation. it hardly occurs to me that things may turn out badly....back to the aforementioned... i never had an affinity for dolls; however, i've always loved babies. i love babies. lord knows if i could i would have a house full of them. i loved to cook and be surrounded by family. i am hard wired to take care of my family... by any means neccessary....

if that makes any sense zay... letme know if it doesn't... i'll try to clean it up.

No, SOFTLY, it makes sense because women have a lot of "male" qualities, and vice versa... But I think the point you all are making is that you think a great deal of whom we are is determined by our socialization, rather than some predisposition... I would agree to some extent, but I still believe that there are certain things we do because that's just the way nature planned it... I can't shake that idea - particularly when I think of how I am turned on to girls as a 13 year old, and a short tme earlier thought they were so yucky... I am one who does not believe our sexualty is about choice... I think the Creative Source made no mistakes in that area... JMHO...

BTW, SOFTLY, your feeling comfortable with that BAT & BALLS sound sexy and just like a WOMAN from my vantage pointLOL!

Peace!
Isaiah
 
My .02...

I always had a knack for things of a scientific nature. Mathematics, and Experimenting, like: "purifying" milk by placing a thin napkin over the cup, then drinking through it, thinking I'd eliminate the germs....lol. I'll definately say that I wasn't hard-wired completely, for I found interest in so-called "boys games". Why not, I ran as fast as them, climbed trees, popped wheelies just as high. However, I was socialized to focus on more 'feminine' ideals. I was the "nice girl" always making peace, and sharing what I had with my less fortunate peers. That being said.......my childhood experience left an impression, hence; the Woman I am today, for I still like to get 'testy'.....lol, and am still inclined to reach out and touch someone:spinn:
 

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