Black Relationships : HARD-WIRING OF WOMEN...

Discussion in 'Black Relationships' started by Isaiah, Mar 22, 2006.

  1. Isaiah

    Isaiah Well-Known Member MEMBER

    Joined:
    Jun 8, 2004
    Messages:
    3,210
    Likes Received:
    62
    Ratings:
    +62
    Greetings Sisters and Ladies! Just wanted to engage you, and pose a few questions so that I, and our brothers might better KNOW you...

    Firstly the title of my thread might throw you a little if you have not worked in the electronic/electrical trades, so let me try to explain it in as few words as possible... As an electronics technician installing security systems for ?D? back in the days, we used two kinds of systems, hard-wire(the most common), and RF(radio frequency)wireless systems... Hard-wire systems require bringing HARD wires to a system or device, and those wires generally have a set and pre-determined purpose... Same with our hard-wiring as human beings, hence I'm using that term in that context here... Hard-Wired systems by GOD, you might call it...

    This concept has occured to me in recent years when I began to take an interest in animal-human behavior/psychology, and began to see similarities in the behaviour of humans and animals, as if all life on this planet has particular universal behaviors endoded/hard-wired into our brains... I notice that animal and human females have a particular affinity for family and children, and males for hunting and serving as protectors of territory. Of course, females are extremely protective of territory, and are great hunters in both the animal and human kingdoms, so my hypothesis and observations are tentatively-held beliefs, and not based on facts, as it were...

    What I want to know from ladies is, do you believe that you have a particular hard-wiring that predisposes you to certain behaviors, and that males have that same hard-wiring??? If so, can you name them, either from personal or over-all observations??? For example, looking back on my childhood, at 11 or 12 I thought females were "yucky", and in a little less than a blink of an eye on the human calendar(age 13), I could not think of nothing I'd rather do than be next to a "yucky" little girl( a test paper with nothin' but my name on it!)... To this day, I don't understand what happened, IT happened so fast(smile!) I can explain it no other way but to attribute it to those universal encodings that changed my voice, and caused me to erections even when I didn't have to go to the bathroom...

    Sorry for rambling... Hope you guys understand the nature of this question...



    Peace!
    Isaiah
     
  2. PurpleMoons

    PurpleMoons Administrator STAFF

    Country:
    United States
    Joined:
    Apr 22, 2003
    Messages:
    9,146
    Likes Received:
    1,097
    Gender:
    Female
    Ratings:
    +1,102
    Hmmmm....

    I can remember as a young child being drawn to the babydoll. It felt so natural wanting to care for those sweet little dolls with the big sad eyes. Now my brothers, on the other hand, was interested in those sweet little babies too. But when they got two of them together, Lo' and Behold, my little babies would turn into two super acrobatic ninja fighting Power Rangers. And when they exhausted the power within those dolls, I became their exclusive super ninja fighting opponent.
    :karate: vs :hulk:

    Until this very day, I have the same attraction to the babies as I did when I was younger, and my brothers still find time to vulcan pinch the nerves just above my shoulder blades when opportunity arises. Whew! hahaha you took me down memory lane.

    But anyhow, I'm not sure if these attractions are natural hard-wiring, or gently coerced conditioning. When people see a little girl child, the first thing they often say is "Ohhhh! She's so sweet. I wanna just kiss her face." When they see a little boy they say "He is so handsome and strong. Just look at those hands."

    Sorry if I didn't answer your question but it was fun looking into the past for a common experience.

    I'm looking forward to hearing other's perspectives as well.
     
  3. NNQueen

    NNQueen going above and beyond PREMIUM MEMBER

    Country:
    United States
    Joined:
    Feb 9, 2001
    Messages:
    6,375
    Likes Received:
    1,430
    Gender:
    Female
    Ratings:
    +1,858
    Hmmmmm *thinking*

    Brother Isaiah, this is a very interesting question that you have asked. I may need to think about it some more, but here is my initial response.

    I don't know that I'm necessarily "hard wired" as a female. I'm thinking of hardwiring in terms of biological construction. As fetuses, we're the same, male and female, except something happens in the process of fetal development that changes us into the physical form that we were eventually born as. The only predisposition biologically that I can think of is how we are designed to procreate. Other than that, are we really so different?

    On the other hand, there are things that happen to us after birth that can be equated to software, which we know must be installed in the computer in order for it to function. Different cultures install different software. In humans I refer to this as socialization. This is information we take in externally from our environment--parents, friends, family, church, teachers, etc. For example, girls wear pink; boys wear blue. Girls play with dolls; boys play with trucks. Girls prefer the arts; boys prefer science. I think these are mostly learned behaviors.

    I'm even wondering whether our sexual preferences stem more from the way we are socialized as opposed to our biologocal construct. Or maybe it's a combination of the two where there is some predisposition to begin with, then as a result of our socialization, we are able to find that equilibrium we need to make our choices in a mate. Maybe they have to work in synch for people to feel "balanced."

    I'll think more on it and get back to you if I have something more I'd like to add. Meanwhile, I look forward to other comments.

    Queenie :spinstar:
     
  4. Isaiah

    Isaiah Well-Known Member MEMBER

    Joined:
    Jun 8, 2004
    Messages:
    3,210
    Likes Received:
    62
    Ratings:
    +62
    Ladies, Zakia, Purple, and Queenie, thanks for your responses!

    Purple, your experience is kind of what I am talking about... How we unconsciously "drift" and tend toward female and male roles without the socialization and conditioning process Queenie talked about in her post... Like I never had a thing for dolls, and I imagine most males don't... I think there may be a lot of both the natural hard-wiring and the socialization at play...

    Once I saw a special on 20-20, where a pair of Canadian twins had been born amorphites, or with out sex organs... The doctors immediately decided upon "giving" them a sexual identity through surgical creation of sexual organs... It was all good until these children came into their adolescent, and the female child demonstrated an affinity for girls, and the male child the opposite... There were other signs, as well, but that was the most outstanding... The male child, stripped of his manhood, later committed suicide, and the female child went on to marry anothe female, though complained of a lifetime deep mental anguish over having had this operation done on her... Now, how could that be about socialization??? Hmmmm...


    Peace!
    Isaiah
     
  5. spicybrown

    spicybrown Well-Known Member MEMBER

    Country:
    United States
    Joined:
    Oct 21, 2005
    Messages:
    4,201
    Likes Received:
    118
    Ratings:
    +118
    Nature vs. Nurture.....

    "Once I saw a special on 20-20, where a pair of Canadian twins had been born amorphites, or with out sex organs... The doctors immediately decided upon "giving" them a sexual identity through surgical creation of sexual organs... It was all good until these children came into their adolescent, and the female child demonstrated an affinity for girls, and the male child the opposite... There were other signs, as well, but that was the most outstanding... The male child, stripped of his manhood, later committed suicide, and the female child went on to marry anothe female, though complained of a lifetime deep mental anguish over having had this operation done on her... Now, how could that be about socialization??? Hmmmm..."

    That could have all depended upon whether or not the children were exposed to any "alternative" lifestyles" during their upbringing.
     
  6. Bluewater

    Bluewater Well-Known Member MEMBER

    Country:
    United States
    Joined:
    Jun 11, 2003
    Messages:
    6,008
    Likes Received:
    44
    Gender:
    Female
    Occupation:
    Praising The Lord
    Location:
    Baltimore, MD
    Ratings:
    +44
    Hey There Sista Queenie,,I am slowly getting back into the flow sis...hoping to come to chat soon :)

    These are very good points, first off I was a natural Tom Boy because there was no girls on my block to play with when I was a child, so I played with the boys games like football, baseball. I liked wrestling as well as Boxing I enjoyed these sports much more then dolls even those I had dolls I rather play football, it wasn't until I reach a certain age in my life, around 11 or 12 that the more softer and seriuos side of me came to light, and I think it had a lot to do with the responsibility placed upon me by my alders to watch the younger ones in my family, keep them out of trouble entertain them , feed them, I guess it all came out to mothering them, but then again I was the oldest so I don't think it matter that I was a girl, but that I was the oldest. The maternal instinct of wanting to have children hit in my late teens, and reason had to guide my heart during those times not to let it happen. And then I notice that this instinct would come almost every 2 to 3 years, even now. It's natural. I feel we all born with an instinct that is trigger during a certan period of our growth that is a natural part of our sexuality, it is just some of the craziness that is going in this world interferes with the natural process
     
  7. IfUComeSoftly

    IfUComeSoftly Well-Known Member MEMBER

    Joined:
    Jul 23, 2003
    Messages:
    807
    Likes Received:
    12
    Occupation:
    PD for a Non Profit
    Location:
    i'ma peach
    Ratings:
    +12
    Unlike some sisters I was not drawn to baby dolls. I would rather have a bat and a softball or something of that nature. You would either find me curled up with my favorite book or trying to dig up a game to play. My hard-wiring came in my need to help people. i have a certain predisposition to help out other people... be their savior. i hate injustice on any level. i'm a provider. i will work in a minute. i will pick an extra hustle in a minute to take care of business or home. i have always done so... even before i had children. i take care of the people around me... that has gotten me burned on more than one occassion. i am hard wired to trust people... even now i think... why would someone lie to me. why would they go out their way to be malicious? i have faith in people. i'm hard-wired to think everything will be okay. no matter what the situation. it hardly occurs to me that things may turn out badly....back to the aforementioned... i never had an affinity for dolls; however, i've always loved babies. i love babies. lord knows if i could i would have a house full of them. i loved to cook and be surrounded by family. i am hard wired to take care of my family... by any means neccessary....

    if that makes any sense zay... letme know if it doesn't... i'll try to clean it up.
     
  8. Riada

    Riada Well-Known Member MEMBER

    Joined:
    May 14, 2005
    Messages:
    1,366
    Likes Received:
    18
    Ratings:
    +18
    This is a very interesting question.

    Some children don't get the strict gender socialization that others get and maybe that's where you can see how much is hard vs. soft wiring.

    When I was a girl, I could get up a tree and run faster than most boys. I was very strong and fought "real" fights with boys--won some and lost some. During all this time, I loved playing with dolls and liked sewing. I was never told that there was anything wrong or strange about this. Most of my girl cousins did the same thing.

    When I hit puberty at 12, I wasn't allowed to fight boys anymore or rip and run with them. I HATED being a girl. I definitely preferred being boyish. Boys had all the fun. LOL!

    Then when I was about 15, I got into a fight with one of my boy cousins who was 17, and he almost broke my arm. Boy, was I SHOCKED because I had been able to beat him when we were younger. I couldn't figure out how he had managed to get so much stronger than me. LOL!! I still wonder what would have happened if I had been allowed to climb, run, and fight with boys all during those years. Would I have been as strong, or almost as strong as my cousin?

    Anyway, I know I was hard-wired to be maternal because for some reason, I'm just very maternal and when I think back, I've always been so. I was also hard-wired to be a hereosexual female because when you consider my "boyish" childhood, it would seem that I could have developed an interest in girls. Instead, I am exclusively hetero in every respect.

    If I ever have a daughter, I'm going to let her climb, run, and fight with boys as long as she wants.
     
  9. Isaiah

    Isaiah Well-Known Member MEMBER

    Joined:
    Jun 8, 2004
    Messages:
    3,210
    Likes Received:
    62
    Ratings:
    +62
    No, SOFTLY, it makes sense because women have a lot of "male" qualities, and vice versa... But I think the point you all are making is that you think a great deal of whom we are is determined by our socialization, rather than some predisposition... I would agree to some extent, but I still believe that there are certain things we do because that's just the way nature planned it... I can't shake that idea - particularly when I think of how I am turned on to girls as a 13 year old, and a short tme earlier thought they were so yucky... I am one who does not believe our sexualty is about choice... I think the Creative Source made no mistakes in that area... JMHO...

    BTW, SOFTLY, your feeling comfortable with that BAT & BALLS sound sexy and just like a WOMAN from my vantage pointLOL!

    Peace!
    Isaiah
     
  10. spicybrown

    spicybrown Well-Known Member MEMBER

    Country:
    United States
    Joined:
    Oct 21, 2005
    Messages:
    4,201
    Likes Received:
    118
    Ratings:
    +118
    My .02...

    I always had a knack for things of a scientific nature. Mathematics, and Experimenting, like: "purifying" milk by placing a thin napkin over the cup, then drinking through it, thinking I'd eliminate the germs....lol. I'll definately say that I wasn't hard-wired completely, for I found interest in so-called "boys games". Why not, I ran as fast as them, climbed trees, popped wheelies just as high. However, I was socialized to focus on more 'feminine' ideals. I was the "nice girl" always making peace, and sharing what I had with my less fortunate peers. That being said.......my childhood experience left an impression, hence; the Woman I am today, for I still like to get 'testy'.....lol, and am still inclined to reach out and touch someone:spinn:
     
Loading...