I know that everyone does it. Babies do it. Men do it. Women do and even dogs do it, but when did **** become an afternoon discussion topic? During a weekend get together with some of my friends and their wives. I was captive to one of the most fascinating and disgusting conversation I've ever heard. I should have gone with the guys to pick up James from the airport, but I didn't want to get out comfortable chair while I recovered from a half a bottle of Jack Daniels on an empty stomach the night before. If I had know the direction the conversation was going to take, I would have gone to Hong Kong to pick up James. Unfortunately for me, when the conversation shifted I was too hung over to catch the unsubtle change. As I sat there holding my head in my hands I suddenly realized they were talking about ****! I heard it all from how many days it had been since taking a good **** to the size and color of the ****. From there, it got worse. I learned what to do if you're constipated, what laxative to avoid and even how it was important not to strain too hard in order to avoid straining yourself and getting hemorrhoids. Disgusting! Maybe they forgot that I was there, just as I wished I wasn't there. I love to hang out with my boys, have a drink and tell a few lies, but ****, we don't talk about ****! We may talk ****, but we don't talk about it. We like to talk about sex and money, but ****? My head throbbed as I listened to the gory details. My stomach was rolling and tumbling trying to make up its mind if it was worth trying to keep down the remainder of that Jack Daniels. Finally, they went out side and left me to my thoughts, an aching head and the imagined aroma of ****. Whatever happened to good clean topics like screwing and getting head or even malicious gossip? Unfortunately, I have heard this conversation many times since then. Do women have bowel problems? If they do, please wait until I leave before discussing them. Jeeeez! It's been about two weeks now since the last discussion of bowel movements and over-the-counter laxatives, but I just can't snuggle up to my wife at night as the thought of getting a tobacco stain on pajamas haunts my dreams.