Black People : Had a heated discusion with an Elder..

Discussion in 'Black People Open Forum' started by G Ali, Mar 7, 2013.

  1. G Ali

    G Ali Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    So after finding out about an outing last weekend with a few of my young ones, a very trusted and respected Elder of mine sort of blanked out on me....you see I took 2 of my young dudes that I kinda stole away from that street life to a little party, and we had a ball, but my big hommie says I'm just as bad as the pushers and bangers giving them the message that it's o.k. to be out there clubbing and wild....now we did have some drinks (nothing overboard/ and the under 21 one doesn't like drinking)....and we may have shut the spot down...but is that so bad? Think about it, one of these cats a year and a half, two years ago was about to flunk out and give up on high school because "good grades don't pay light bills". Now his grades are up, he's killing SAT practice tests, and picking out universities....he doesn't deserve some down time?? The other just started working full time and is in barber school, after 40 hours of work + class what about him? So, am I sending mixed messages...has our movement become so uniform that we can't have decent fun...or is our struggle so bleak that it requires and deserves an ALL business no play approach?


    Oh and don't get it twisted the high school brother isn't some 17 yr old I let party with grown men he'll be turning 20 this summer....and laugh if ya want...entering college 2 yrs late as opposed to not at all is a victory in the eyes of my movement.
     
  2. Enki

    Enki The Evolved Amphibian STAFF

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    I see no problem in what you have done brutha. I believe there is a time for everything, there is a time to be stern, and there is a time to show understanding and compassion. IMO, people can lose interest in something if the see that it's going to be the nose to the grindstone 24/7. I know I would and do.

    Peace!
     
  3. jamesfrmphilly

    jamesfrmphilly going above and beyond PREMIUM MEMBER

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    :10900:fun is good...
     
  4. Angela22

    Angela22 Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    I'm a youngun, bear with me.

    I think I understand your point; you work hard, so why not play hard, huh? But shutting the spot down? You deflect how bad that actually is by bringing in the achievments of the ones you're hanging with, and that has nothing at all to do with the way you handled this situation. Taking a break from all that work is fine, but that isn't an excuse to act off the chain when you do decide to take a break.

    If you continue down that way, all that was built up is going to amount to less than what it should or nothing at all. Do you know how one night of acting rowdy can end a lifetime of achievements, very literally? By jail? By death? By permanent injury? And the regret of it all becomes incurable.

    I don't think he's trying to tear you down for wanting a break, I think he's warning of the kind of "fun" you guys are into, and thus don't fall deaf on the elder.

    So just think about the way you decide to take a break, and since it seems you head them off, try to set a better example. A brother should not be down with getting his brother in trouble.
     
  5. Enki

    Enki The Evolved Amphibian STAFF

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    I just have to ask, what is wrong with staying until a place closes? I've done that many times and drinking wasn't involved, just a good conversation was being had. In essence what he is being told is that they have a curfew. "You can go out, but you have to be in by 12":11200:

    You said that you were a young-gun, I also know that you are a gamer,I'm one also. Will you hold yourself to someone else standard of gaming when you see there is no harm in what you are doing? You have 2 systems and want a 3rd, many would say that it is no need to have all of that, would you abide by their standard of fun and what is a limit to that fun?

    These men are grown and IMO have achieved a lot, having some fun will not necessarily undo all they have accomplished.

    Peace!
     
  6. Angela22

    Angela22 Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    They are grown, which is why they can only make the decision themselves. I just believe in hearing what someone older has to say on making better life choices.

    You say necessarily because is it known that particular types of "fun" can very well undo any achievement a person has worked hard for?

    Yeah, I do have plenty of games, and I do know many call it unnecessary, and I, myself, thought for some time the same which is why I abstained from it for awhile, but since my gaming consoles are old, buying a 3rd for when the other breaks down hardly makes me overdoing it, I believe, but just smart thinking ahead.

    (And when someone older did say I should limit how much I played, I listened because as hard as I (felt I) was working; it would have eventually cut into that.)

    I don't go by others standards of fun, but I do like to use my head on which types of fun can altogether amount to a killjoy for the priorities in my life.
     
  7. G Ali

    G Ali Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    I feel what you are saying, and I also try to take head what Elders say as far as life...but you have to understand that we aren't in some gambling spot/shot house ect...I would never encourage them being in any type of environment that is even remotely like the one I've fought tooth and nail to keep them from...we aren't out at just ANY event, I take extreme caution in the company I keep....these were people that walk the same path as I do..with "young ones" of there own to celebrate with and brag on.
     
  8. Enki

    Enki The Evolved Amphibian STAFF

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    I feel you and agree with you sista. The older generation do have the knowledge, and they have been where a lot of us are trying to make it.

    You are correct, I allowed for the fact that specific types of fun can, and has led too the down fall of many. I've been there myself:cool: ..(that's experience for ya sista:lol:)

    Yes, you have rationalized it well in order to justify doing it. I know where you are coming from and I will be the last to knock you. In fact I support you, I'm a gamer. But you know there are many that don't care what they reason is.

    Oh lawd..don't get me started on this..This is harder than most people think. When I was in school, I hated stopping playing my game just to study:uhh:

    I would say to myself, I'll play for a hour then study...but it never really was an hour, it was more like 3 or 4 hours.:em2300:


    Right, that's my point. You are able to gauge and determine what is right for you, what works, and don't work for you. We have to assume others have this same ability.

    BTW...what game are you playing?



    Peace!
     
  9. Angela22

    Angela22 Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Then what's the disagreement?:11200: Did the elder just not want gatherings? Or drinking? Or celebration? or...laughing?

    Then that's another story, and I'm pretty sure it could be smoothed out by a less heated approach, huh?
     
  10. G Ali

    G Ali Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    After some reflection I think his reaction was more out of worry after hearing about the live weekend, than anger...because like you said sometimes fun is a slippery slope into misery...and I think he was just worried about my young ones sliding from one level to another, because it is so easy and often times enjoyable...he might even have been worried that after as far as I've come it could happen to me...I mean technically I'm still young enough to fall victim to that whole "party culture", like they say, to much of anything makes you an addict.
     
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