Now I don't know about everybody but when I was little I had already planned my husband out in my head. Height, Weight looked just like Malik Yoba. Little did I know I was setting myself up for failure. When I started to date I turned down all the guys who were nothing like my dream man. Oh yes, and I made me a lists of everything my dream man should have. Was checking brothers off by the dozens. The thing that we as young black women don't know is that there is no such thing as a dream man. Just as there is no such thing as perfect. I was always going for the tall, athletic types. I went for Army men, Firemen. If it came in a suit I was doing a Beyonce and "Checking up on It." when I noticed that these men wouldnt give a little chubby girl from the hood the time of day I went to the average street thug/drug dealer. My self esteem was so low that I found myself with a boy I had no feelings for only because I wanted to say I had somebody. Then I got pregnant with my daughter, and my mother did not even flinch when I told her. She just looked at me and said, "I already knew," My mother took care of us and even when my so called "baby's daddy," did a disappearing act she was there for me. That's why when mama calls I run. she can be up in Iraq being held hostage and I come running. I haven't had that many boyfriends but the ones I have had were JERKS!!! After I had my daughter I Lost weight and got a really nice little body. and low and behold the ones that would not give a sister like me the time of day were right there on my heels every move I made. I got in a relationship with a Man who had trust issues, and it was always "YOU CHEATING I KNOW IT" "YA PHONE RANG DIFFERENT WHEN YOU ON THERE WITH SOME *****" what the hezzy? That right there was enough to make a sisters say "I quit!" I soon told myself that it was all about me and my daughter. Got myself a good paying job a decent car, but I still couldn't shake my psyhco boyfriend. The most amazing thing happned. I didn't happen because I made it, It happened because I prayed so hard at night for god to remove that man out of my life. I found myself a friend. Not another "boyfriend" a best friend. he was a confidant, he listened to me, loved my daughter like his own, and no matter what I called and he came running. This man was twelve years my senior, and was going through his own financial and emotional hardships. During the period of a year we connected. We became a part of each others daily routine. A lot of people in my office would say "But he so this and he so that..." But this was the only man that satisfied me in every area of my life. He was not 6.5, 180 pounds. He was 5.6 150 and could be considered a nerd. But I didn't care. I was a beautiful young woman who'd found her king. Not only did I have his son but I bare his name as well. What's the point? Sisters we are looking in all the wrong places for the right man. We up in the club looking for a god sent man. Don't get me wrong I'm far from perfect. That brother at the bus stop who's trying to get your number might one day become the next Denzel. Everybody has their downfalls. Its ok for a sister to ride the bus but a brother is trifling when he does. Because we have our noses so far up in the air our man done passed by and we still whining about "where all the good men at" My answer is the same place you cussed him out in front of your girls. " I don't want you, You won't never have a woman like me." THANK GOD FOR THAT.