Poetry Critiques : GOLDMIND

Discussion in 'Black Poetry - Get Your Flow On!' started by rapchild, Sep 30, 2006.

  1. rapchild

    rapchild Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    our mind is a gold mine
    yes God truly gave us a goldmind
    our mind is precious n worth alot more than we thought
    we keep thinkin n thinkin we cannot stop
    always comin up wit ideas that is great
    n when we create,puttin our thoughts n ideas into motion
    people are amazed
    our mind gives us da power 2 turn our life around n be saved
    our mind tells us what 2 say
    n it can make the world a better place
    our mind controls the body
    i must admit at times it makes us act a little naughty
    without thinkin wit the mind
    we do not make sense wit what we do or say n we can't do much
    so we seem 2 lose touch
    sometimes we occupy our minds with unnecessary things
    but we still cant deny the greatness da mind brings
    some people dont use their mind enough or the way they should
    somepeople too do
    but because we dont get da help we need 2 turn whats in our mind
    into something worth livin 4 it becomes no good
    please people help eachother in anyway u could
     
  2. $$RICH$$

    $$RICH$$ Lyon King Admin. STAFF

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    very nice .....
    the structure and mental mindset was golden
    but you used the word a few times too many
    this piece was great over all .

    I enjoy your writing & style
     
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