Black Relationships : Girls are more forward - do not wait for the Boys to ask for the first date, etc.

Jan 22, 2001
betwixt and between
Website Consultant
Peace and Blessings Family!

I was watching or reading something and saw the above statement, the title of this thread.

It was saying that this is just the way it is these days - and if you see otherwise - you're seeing generations past.

For example - if you see a woman waiting for the man to make the first move, invite her out first, ask for her number - then she is from generations gone by, that this is the old fashioned way of doing things and young ladies today do not wait for the boys to ask - and boys do not consider it forward or strange that the young ladies do not wait ... in fact ... the young lady's forwardness is often considered a positive personality trait.

It's just the way it is now ... so i read ... :chair:

I've actually seen this happening before my eyes ... young ladies being much more forward than I would ever consider appropriate ... I've watched this and thought ... oh my gosh, why are they behaving this way ... ??!! ... but they are the ones behaving as they should ... and i am the one from Christmas past ... :cry:

All this time I thought something was wrong with the way things were happening ... and I'm glad to learn there is nothing wrong ... other than me getting with the times ... hey ... i've always been that hip, cool, Momma ... so ... if i start hitt'n on you all aggressively ... hold'n you down, physically, with all my weight ... tying you up ... hitt'n you in da head wit a 40 oz and stuff'n yo' limp unconscious body into da trunk of my vehicular ... if you see me doing any of these things ... don't be alarmed ... it's me catch'n up to the times.




Well-Known Member
Jul 12, 2015
atlanta ga
Health Technician/Future Paralegal
I don't mind being old fashioned. I would go dateless for the rest of my life before I ask a man out. Too much responsible behavior has been dismissed already. I will not open my own door getting in or getting out. I don't care that doors are automatically controlled. I could care less. If you're with me, these are the requirements. My son is taught to do the same thing. Now he may not do it for young girls when I am not around but older ladies he will stand there all day while they all file in. I've watched him. He get's the door for me and his sister. Yes he had some lip about it at first but guess what, I won that Young ladies being too forward in my mind has caused men to be weak as noodles. Now some are asking them out, asking them to dance, opening our own doors. Naaaw. I like that aspect of being a woman.


Well-Known Member
Feb 26, 2013
I think with the way things are, how much women scream for equally within relationships, to be treated the same and given the same respect any man wants and deserves, not to be seen as helpless and all, it's only natural that courting would be apart of those changes.

I have no problem being forward with a guy and asking him out. If he's attractive to me, I wouldn't want him asking some other woman out just because I didn't speak up, so I will.

And maybe he's nervous? Thinks I already have a man? Maybe he has a woman? All kinds of reasons he might not be asking me out, and I won't know just sitting around waiting for him to make a move or speak up while he's waiting for me to do the same.

From what I've seen, heard, and experienced, some guys are still put off by it, while others just make light of it(turning you down, then asking you out a second later), but of course there are those who appreciate you showing interest and being straight up. It's different with each individual.

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