Black Poetry : Girl I Met

Discussion in 'Black Poetry - Get Your Flow On!' started by rhymebad, Feb 12, 2011.

  1. rhymebad

    rhymebad Well-Known Member MEMBER

    Country:
    United States
    Joined:
    May 11, 2006
    Messages:
    1,919
    Likes Received:
    198
    Ratings:
    +222
    Girl I Met

    Somewhere in history there is a theory which states that if rich
    Fakes ever discover a clever lover they could travel far and itch
    For success, see facts are dispersed exact in the universe, brain
    Waves with a little common sense can decipher them and gain
    An advantage, got laces in my shoes and mad cases of the blues
    My quotes strong like folk songs in a state of depression, crews
    Sing along with bling on, consume wine it tunes my mind to
    Boone Farm somebody at this dumb party pass a glass fast even
    Grip a mug to sip some suds while girls strip at clubs never leaving
    See a girl with a great butt seem to break up into small pieces
    It’s all Reeses peanut butter cups, emotions stall then increases
    Don’t want my feelings hurt but she’s very revealing in that skirt
    She’s a true one because she chew gum probably juicy fruit alert
    Her coo-chee cute under that skirt, ready to shed my shirt and show
    Her my six pack, rap sick clout and able to pick out chicks no
    Doubt, have to choose from a number on who I want to cruise
    In my Hummer and listen to the blues this summer good news
    To them, as booze whirl in my head I choose the girl in red boobs
    Poking, all my moves be legit and I see fit to ask her on a date
    For some cake but I have to come great in words of love talk hate
    To be corny, “look boo your pride intact made me decide to act
    Plus I ride in a cadilac with the top dropped it’s glide and attack
    The road, get fame for my car so I’m blamed for having dubs and
    Grabbing girls at the club worlds of a scrubs show no love or plan
    Look boo you got red lips plus you equip with hips you could
    Flip a bed upside down just by moving your pies around its all good
    And you should come home with me my emotions flip like an ocean
    Trip for pleasure your body is bazaar treasure like magic potions
    Just bold fashion and I cease to control my passion for your lips
    And stuff, hips are puff wheat coochee good enough to eat and flip
    Bedspreads, so boo I need a cake date or my plan smashed and I
    Stand abashed I’m a man ready to lash out and kiss your lips oh my
    I want the cake between your thighs don’t abate my extreme pride

    http://freestylesessionboard.yuku.co...9328/master/1/
     
  2. rhymebad

    rhymebad Well-Known Member MEMBER

    Country:
    United States
    Joined:
    May 11, 2006
    Messages:
    1,919
    Likes Received:
    198
    Ratings:
    +222
    Girl I Met (ON ANOTHER SITE)

    Somewhere in history there is a theory which states that if rich
    Fakes ever discover a clever lover they could travel far and itch
    For success, see facts are dispersed exact in the universe, brain
    Waves with a little common sense can decipher them and gain
    An advantage, got laces in my shoes and mad cases of the blues
    My quotes strong like folk songs in a state of depression, crews
    Sing along with bling on, consume wine it tunes my mind to
    Boone Farm somebody at this dumb party pass a glass fast even
    Grip a mug to sip some suds while girls strip at clubs never leaving
    See a girl with a great butt seem to break up into small pieces
    It’s all Reeses peanut butter cups, emotions stall then increases
    Don’t want my feelings hurt but she’s very revealing in that skirt
    She’s a true one because she chew gum probably juicy fruit alert
    Her coo-chee cute under that skirt, ready to shed my shirt and show
    Her my six pack, rap sick clout and able to pick out chicks no
    Doubt, have to choose from a number on who I want to cruise
    In my Hummer and listen to the blues this summer good news
    To them, as booze whirl in my head I choose the girl in red boobs
    Poking, all my moves be legit and I see fit to ask her on a date
    For some cake but I have to come great in words of love talk hate
    To be corny, “look boo your pride intact made me decide to act
    Plus I ride in a cadilac with the top dropped it’s glide and attack
    The road, get fame for my car so I’m blamed for having dubs and
    Grabbing girls at the club worlds of a scrubs show no love or plan
    Look boo you got red lips plus you equip with hips you could
    Flip a bed upside down just by moving your pies around its all good
    And you should come home with me my emotions flip like an ocean
    Trip for pleasure your body is bazaar treasure like magic potions
    Just bold fashion and I cease to control my passion for your lips
    And stuff, hips are puff wheat coochee good enough to eat and flip
    Bedspreads, so boo I need a cake date or my plan smashed and I
    Stand abashed I’m a man ready to lash out and kiss your lips oh my
    I want the cake between your thighs don’t abate my extreme pride
    I bet your wet coo-chee steam inside just some sweet ice cream pies


    Partial IP: 54.210.176

    Ferretti

    Total Posts: 89
    Member Since: 2011 posted Saturday, February 12, 2011 10:06:07 PM
    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    I read this to a block head beat, had some nice flows in there. "as booze whirl in my head I choose the girl in red boobs
    Poking"
    thought that was a red breast reference for a second, I love that sh*t haha
    cool though
    stay up
    Partial IP: 4.12.146.8

    icy-mic

    Total Posts: 70
    Member Since: 2011
    Location: canada posted Saturday, February 12, 2011 11:48:31 PM
    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    I REALLY WAS NOT FEELING THIS

    the lyrics are good as always, it just felt like a more lyrical version of the bull**** thats played on much more music rgiht now, stick to real **** like demon chase and **** man, thats real hip hop, not your hummer and how good a chicks coochee looks under her skirt

    just my opinion man, i was kinda the same way when eminem went from infinite to love the way you lie but watev

    stay on the right path and dont give up fam
    Partial IP: 114.150.52

    icy-mic

    Total Posts: 70
    Member Since: 2011
    Location: canada posted Saturday, February 12, 2011 11:52:46 PM
    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    EDIT: by "lyrics are good as always" i meant rhyming scheme, not subject dint want u too think i was contradicting my self
    Partial IP: 114.150.52


    All times are ET. The time now is 5:45 PM.
     
  3. rhymebad

    rhymebad Well-Known Member MEMBER

    Country:
    United States
    Joined:
    May 11, 2006
    Messages:
    1,919
    Likes Received:
    198
    Ratings:
    +222
    ON OTHER SITES FOR REAL

    Girl I Met

    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    Girl I Met
    Somewhere in history there is a theory which states that if rich
    Fakes ever discover a clever lover they could travel far and itch
    For success, see facts are dispersed exact in the universe, brain
    Waves with a little common sense can decipher them and gain
    An advantage, got laces in my shoes and mad cases of the blues
    My quotes strong like folk songs in a state of depression, crews
    Sing along with bling on, consume wine it tunes my mind to
    Boone Farm somebody at this dumb party pass a glass fast even
    Grip a mug to sip some suds while girls strip at clubs never leaving
    See a girl with a great butt seem to break up into small pieces
    It’s all Reeses peanut butter cups, emotions stall then increases
    Don’t want my feelings hurt but she’s very revealing in that skirt
    She’s a true one because she chew gum probably juicy fruit alert
    Her coo-chee cute under that skirt, ready to shed my shirt and show
    Her my six pack, rap sick clout and able to pick out chicks no
    Doubt, have to choose from a number on who I want to cruise
    In my Hummer and listen to the blues this summer good news
    To them, as booze whirl in my head I choose the girl in red boobs
    Poking, all my moves be legit and I see fit to ask her on a date
    For some cake but I have to come great in words of love talk hate
    To be corny, “look boo your pride intact made me decide to act
    Plus I ride in a cadilac with the top dropped it’s glide and attack
    The road, get fame for my car so I’m blamed for having dubs and
    Grabbing girls at the club worlds of a scrubs show no love or plan
    Look boo you got red lips plus you equip with hips you could
    Flip a bed upside down just by moving your pies around its all good
    And you should come home with me my emotions flip like an ocean
    Trip for pleasure your body is bazaar treasure like magic potions
    Just bold fashion and I cease to control my passion for your lips
    And stuff, hips are puff wheat coochee good enough to eat and flip
    Bedspreads, so boo I need a cake date or my plan smashed and I
    Stand abashed I’m a man ready to lash out and kiss your lips oh my
    I want the cake between your thighs don’t abate my extreme pride
    I bet your wet coo-chee steam inside just some sweet ice cream pies
    Girl let me annoint your stew with my point of views can get deeply
    Involved and never cheaply on the job in sex dealings it get creepy
    I got crazy behavior so baby do me a favor you a lady with major
    Tits I’m not a winded prince but I intend to convince your flavor
    To my bed room your complete theme is you’re a sweet queen
    When you walk the public scatter the subject matter is the extreme
    Hip twisting, wanna be lip kissing you and possibly get some tongue






    Welterweight
    Join Date: Apr 2010

    Posts: 232





    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    --- Award Titles ---

    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    Arcade:

    Misc.:
    Credits: 404
    Savings: 0
    Thanks Given: 0
    Thanked 26 Times in 26 Posts
    Rep Power: 1
    [Give Rep]


    Re: Girl I Met

    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    upping



    Yesterday, 04:42 PM #3
    Hypothesis

    Battle Revelation (19:17)
    Text Battle Revelation (19:17)
    Topical Battle Revelation (19:17)
    Horrorcore Battle Revelation (19:17)
    Audio Battle Revelation (19:17)
    GFX Battle Revelation (19:17)





    ~...Old Testament..~
    Join Date: Oct 2009

    Posts: 1,592





    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    --- Award Titles ---

    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    Arcade:

    Misc.:


    Credits: 4,265
    Savings: 0
    Thanks Given: 162
    Thanked 280 Times in 235 Posts
    Rep Power: 5

    [Give Rep]


    Re: Girl I Met

    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    Nice notation on what you perceived this particular (female) you met. The observation was quite interesting indeed. You discussed some positive, and negative aspects she clanged on throughout her existence. Mostly it was portrayed with the body appearance that (every) male want's a female to circulate with for his own enjoyment fantasy. Otherwise, this was clearly a good read and kept my interest hanging for more each line. Also the flow didn't seem off-pace as much just lacked on initial imagery that could of been greater in the long run. Good read though, and keep writing scholarly!
    __________________




    ...Petrified is your last resort to Breathing...


    Revelation (19:17)
    View Public Profile
    Send a private message to Revelation (19:17)
    Send email to Revelation (19:17)
    Find More Posts by Revelation (19:17)
    Add Revelation (19:17) to Your Contacts

    Yesterday, 04:44 PM #4
    ~$DivaHustla~$

    Battle ~$DivaHustla~$
    Text Battle ~$DivaHustla~$
    Topical Battle ~$DivaHustla~$
    Horrorcore Battle ~$DivaHustla~$
    Audio Battle ~$DivaHustla~$
    GFX Battle ~$DivaHustla~$





    Light Heavyweight
    Join Date: Jun 2010

    Posts: 545





    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    --- Award Titles ---

    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    Arcade:

    Misc.:
    Credits: 336
    Savings: 0
    Thanks Given: 99
    Thanked 115 Times in 86 Posts
    Rep Power: 2
    [Give Rep]



    Re: Girl I Met

    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    flow need work! good job writing.


    The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to ~$DivaHustla~$ For This Useful Post: emodub (Yesterday), Mad**** (Today)

    ~$DivaHustla~$
    View Public Profile
    Send a private message to ~$DivaHustla~$
    Send email to ~$DivaHustla~$
    Find More Posts by ~$DivaHustla~$
    Add ~$DivaHustla~$ to Your Contacts

    Yesterday, 10:41 PM #5
    Poison Pen

    Battle emodub
    Text Battle emodub
    Topical Battle emodub
    Horrorcore Battle emodub
    Audio Battle emodub
    GFX Battle emodub





    Light Heavyweight
    Join Date: Jun 2010

    Posts: 914

    Crew: Most Hated



    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    --- Award Titles ---

    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    Arcade:

    Misc.:


    Credits: 743
    Savings: 0
    Thanks Given: 114
    Thanked 155 Times in 130 Posts
    Rep Power: 2
    [Give Rep]



    Re: Girl I Met

    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    This was terrible , lines too long , no
    One on earth could rap this verse, looks more like an essay,


    Step your gAme up


    @haterific
    __________________

    [1 Minute Ago 04:58 PM] ~$DivaHustla~$: Emo is the King

    These gay **** tryna **** with my team right?, they like facebook chat' they moon a *****, then give them the green light....













    emodub
    View Public Profile
    Send a private message to emodub
    Send email to emodub
    Find More Posts by emodub
    Add emodub to Your Contacts




    Welterweight
    Join Date: Apr 2010

    Posts: 232





    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    --- Award Titles ---

    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    Arcade:

    Misc.:
    Credits: 404
    Savings: 0
    Thanks Given: 0
    Thanked 26 Times in 26 Posts
    Rep Power: 1
    [Give Rep]


    Re: Girl I Met

    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    Poison Pen you need to drop a verse first before talking man you're invisible on this site telling you right now you come at me again like that you getting dissed



    Today, 01:54 AM #7
    Dr.Red

    Battle Mad****
    Text Battle Mad****
    Topical Battle Mad****
    Horrorcore Battle Mad****
    Audio Battle Mad****
    GFX Battle Mad****





    Tu Es Un "IMBECILE"
    Join Date: Dec 2010

    Posts: 745

    Crew: Rapid Fire



    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    --- Award Titles ---

    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    Arcade:

    Misc.:
    Credits: 1,994
    Savings: 0
    Thanks Given: 52
    Thanked 46 Times in 39 Posts
    Rep Power: 1
    [Give Rep]


    Re: Girl I Met

    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by emodub
    This was terrible , lines too long , no
    One on earth could rap this verse, looks more like an essay,


    Step your gAme up


    @haterific

    I totally I agree with Ya .. man ya lines needs to be shorter.. if ya put that on the beat , ya'll chock in the first two lines... cuz too many syllables..
    __________________







    Dr.Red
    I'll Pregnant Ya ***** Than Punch Her In The Stomach....


    Mad****
    View Public Profile
    Send a private message to Mad****
    Send email to Mad****
    Find More Posts by Mad****
    Add Mad**** to Your Contacts

    Today, 02:30 AM #8
    Poison Pen

    Battle emodub
    Text Battle emodub
    Topical Battle emodub
    Horrorcore Battle emodub
    Audio Battle emodub
    GFX Battle emodub





    Light Heavyweight
    Join Date: Jun 2010

    Posts: 914

    Crew: Most Hated



    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    --- Award Titles ---

    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    Arcade:

    Misc.:


    Credits: 743
    Savings: 0
    Thanks Given: 114
    Thanked 155 Times in 130 Posts
    Rep Power: 2
    [Give Rep]



    Re: Girl I Met

    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    U ain't got the heart to diss me son,

    So **** you
    __________________

    [1 Minute Ago 04:58 PM] ~$DivaHustla~$: Emo is the King

    These gay **** tryna **** with my team right?, they like facebook chat' they moon a *****, then give them the green light....













    emodub
    View Public Profile
    Send a private message to emodub
    Send email to emodub
    Find More Posts by emodub
    Add emodub to Your Contacts






    Welterweight
    Join Date: Apr 2010

    Posts: 232





    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    --- Award Titles ---

    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    Arcade:

    Misc.:
    Credits: 404
    Savings: 0
    Thanks Given: 0
    Thanked 26 Times in 26 Posts
    Rep Power: 1
    [Give Rep]


    Re: Girl I Met

    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    yeah but who told you it had to be to a beat poision pen you couldn't beat **** puppy i gave you a belt *****,





    Welterweight
    Join Date: Apr 2010

    Posts: 232





    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    --- Award Titles ---

    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    Arcade:

    Misc.:
    Credits: 404
    Savings: 0
    Thanks Given: 0
    Thanked 26 Times in 26 Posts
    Rep Power: 1
    [Give Rep]


    Re: Girl I Met

    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    thanks for the critiques and rsponses on this one for real
     
  4. Cade Foster

    Cade Foster Well-Known Member MEMBER

    Joined:
    Aug 13, 2009
    Messages:
    56
    Likes Received:
    8
    Ratings:
    +8
    Don't lie, no girl has ever talked to you.
     
  5. rhymebad

    rhymebad Well-Known Member MEMBER

    Country:
    United States
    Joined:
    May 11, 2006
    Messages:
    1,919
    Likes Received:
    198
    Ratings:
    +222
    Cade Foster== need to write a verse
     
Loading...