The problem with violence and sexual abuse is not so much one of oversexualization as it is objectification.
What IS oversexualization? When do you cross that line between moderate sexualization and oversexualization?
It is for a man to be whatever he needs to be in any given moment in time. If that moment calls for sensitive, I hope he's got it. If it were to call for protection, strength and masculine traits, I KNOW he's got it. If a moment calls for nurturing, there again, I would hope he could express this characteristic as if it weren't beneath him somehow, simply because the situation calls for it. If he can, he is more of a man than any macho, dictatorial, manly-man, AND more of a man than any metrosexual fop. His ability to appreciate my qualities shows in his willingness to allow them to be expressed in himself, when needed. It makes for intimacy on a very deep level.
When a man cannot understand that feminine attributes are something latent within his character, he has shut out an entire dimension of himself, and unknowingly perhaps, shut out his ability to fully appreciate a woman for everything that she is. He has robbed himself of the ability to be intimate because he has essentially deemed that those traits are beneath him, feminine traits he will not express, cannot accept in himself, and so on certain levels will be seen as inferior in others too.
All a man needs to do is maintain a healthy balance between the two. And rather than painting with such a broad brush, allow the woman to decide how much sexualization is oversexualitzation.
Objectification, and the combination we see so often of sex and violence together on TV, in magazine photos, music, etc., those things are what aids in abuse and violence towards women.
There is a distinct difference between objectification and sexualization. And then there is sexual objectification, which is no better than objectifying a man as a mere paycheck or mealticket - it is a distortion of his natural strength as a provider. To say that "oversexed" women (whatever that is) are to blame for societal woes, again is a distortion of her natural sexual talents. It is painting with a broad brush, and applying a blanket generalization. Distinct gender role identification is a poorly disguised form of puritanism.
If oversexed is too antebellum of a word for the reader, lets try sexually irresponsible and deviant, characteristics which can be found in the common hooker or "exotic escort" and her "john" or "trick". In the watery New Orleans across the lake in Kenner on 4th Street, there are over 50-100 hookers who gather on the weekends or if hookers is too strong a word, sex workers who pollute society with their actions. Not to mention the Transvestitutes whom they help dress up with make up, nail polish, and tracts. Here is your genderneutral male.(http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P5n7BK6Mt_E ) Most of these women have had their kids taken. There is a process that goes on here. They are rarely charged with anything and if they do, they get out in a matter of weeks. Their kids on the other hand end up in grandma's care or state care. Granny is too old and the state is more than happy to take these kids. Well over 75% of these kids raised in foster homes become institutionalized. This means they will winde up in "Angola", one of the worst state penetentaries in the nation. On any given day, you can pass by and see 100s if not over a thousand BLACK MEN working in fields. But make no mistake, if these women continue, the state of Lousiana has thought of a solution to the problem of the sexually irresponsibe and deviant. Make their kids slaves and allow them to return to the fields. This is not just relugated to prostitutes downtown who are "capatalizing on their ASSets", this is also happening in the various low income areas of all of Lousiana. County jails are being added on to and they are full of AFRICAN AMERICAN MEN who are being transported to the most rednedck Parishes where there are no blacks hardly. Some are exclusively AA men who have been abused, neglected, and left uncared for by mothers whom gave less than a hoot rather or not the dad was around thanks to whats left of the rapidly crumbling welfare systems. You would think the heartache of loosing 1 child to child care services would actually make her consider not having kids till she is married to the right brother. But nooooooooooo! A countless number of these women continue to lay with the peebrains who impregnate them after short encounters in which very little personal knowledge of one another is shared(hook ups). So it's easy for me to see that whites have dried up the welfare system which implanted the need for no man mentality and are just about waiting at the vaginal exit for the slave to drop out. It's as clear as a cloudless day.{the Sandra Bulluck adoption is just a sweetened version of whats really happening in Lousiana} And I make zero apologies toward dirt bag strippers, low life tippers, and deviant carnal humans who polute society with their human garbage who infest the streets with their hooliganism, drugs, prostitution, freakshows, gunfights, children killed, AIDS spread, garbage everywhere but the can, broken glass cause they can't stand people with cars, saggy jeans, stretch mark covered bellies , butt out for the world to see, little daughters as young as 5 YEARS OLD with words like " Hot" on the back of her shorts 1 size too small and a few dozen other things I can think of but don't have time to write. These people and all who justify or defend them are the scumbags of planet Earth as far as i'm concerned and most if not all are broken beyond repair. Talk sense to these deviants an they ain't hearin it, but speak foolish garbage and their ears are wide open. They are dead to themselves and dead to the world with nothing but malicious time on their hands and bad intentions in their hearts. And if you ask me where they come from, they are by products of a feminist girl power society that doesn't want to fess up to the destruction that she and the less than a man dweeb she lays with have created.----- And as far as "gender neutrality" , please give me a break, black society has attempted for the last forty years to feminize black men in single mother homes and all we've got is dead beats, down low sissies, and men who are void of action and intiation unless it's smokin blunts with some Woman Of The Flesh, formerly called by old black women, "hagar's babies"- No Apologies