Black Relationships : Getting around

Discussion in 'Black Relationships' started by kente417mojo, Jul 16, 2004.

  1. kente417mojo

    kente417mojo Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Could you ever be with or marry someone that has "been around"? Someone that has had many many sexual partners. The average man is said to have 8 partners in their lifetime and women are said to have 2 partners. I don't know about that, but what if the number was significantly higher for someone you came across. Would that be a factor? If they seemed to be everything you were looking for would you see them in a different light if you found out they've been on their back more than on their feet? What if you were in a relationship already and they confessed or it came out later...would you break-up?

    http://iafrica.com/loveandsex/110288.htm


    Average is Men (8) Women (2)??
     
  2. Lucky

    Lucky Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    These numbers can change depending on your setting environment.
    I known where I come from most teenagers have had 4 or 6 partners and there still teenagers!

    How is your area influenced by the media and sex on? Look around:spinn:
     
  3. Lucky

    Lucky Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    I forgot

    BTW I hope you known its only for Great Britain and its kinda old too.
    Those people are almost totally different from Americans.

    Good topic anyway!!!!
     
  4. kente417mojo

    kente417mojo Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Thanks Lucky. I didn't realize it was only from Great Britian. :grin: Well, I'll have to look for stats on America now..... :grin: Well, still the stats aren't that important to the conversation anyways. We all have our own opinion on what's alot of not alot of sexual partners. Thanks :teach:
     
  5. $$RICH$$

    $$RICH$$ Lyon King Admin. STAFF

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    to me the average is high in today's world you can find a few virgins
    but not likely sexuality has taken off to new high by the time many reach
    of age they would have had 3 or better partners which today seem common
    but i would say yes because how would you really know how many partners
    a woman or man has had anyway who really telling ?
     
  6. kente417mojo

    kente417mojo Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Hey $$RICH$$, yeah it would be hard to find out, but sometimes you might come across someone that knows her and says "oh yeah, I know her. My man hit that. Yeah, she's been around" or something to that extent. I mean, would that matter if you knew a couple of people that had sex with the girl that you're dating or that you married? Then if you confront her if she told you that she had a highly sexual past...would you look at her different?
     
  7. jazzymoonchild

    jazzymoonchild Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Hello, Brother Kente

    I agree with Rich in that most people won't tell you how many people that they have been with for this reason. It has always been my policy not to ask and I also don't tell. I did not pass myself out like candy so I am not worried about my man's boy strolling down memory when he sees me. If you really care about the person, their sexual past shouldn't become a future issue barring that they weren't a prostitute or an escort of some sort. I think those stats are on the low end though. All the males and females that I know, with the exception of 2 females, have been with alot more folks than that. You have to think of the age range, when people started having sex, and the circumstances around that.
     
  8. kente417mojo

    kente417mojo Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    That is true. I have had women ask me this and I tell them and I ask them and they also tell me. Now, whether they told the truth I don't know. I have had people say to double whatever a person tells you. So if someone tells you they have had sex with 5 people then it's probably 10. Sounds stupid though. I think that I would have a problem dating someone if I found out they were passed around though. Not out of insecurity, but I would just look at the differently. I don't want to be with someone that doesn't have respect for themself. I would definately consider the age though because that has alot to do with it. We all know that men get away with this more than women do, so it's easier for a guy to sleep around and still have some respect because of society standards....or double standards. I do think those stats are low because that's lifetime too. I know the people I know are way above that and they aren't even 30 yet. So Jazzy..if a guy admits to you that he's had over 100 women that wouldn't matter? That means he's been between 200 legs in his lifetime so far. Unless one or more of the women were missing a limb...but that's besides the point. Thanks Jazzy and $$RICH$$.
     
  9. jazzymoonchild

    jazzymoonchild Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    LOL!!! Kente, you are funny. If a guy told me that he has been with over 100 people, I would be shocked, and might ask him about it, like were they one night stands, were these attempted relationships, etc. If they were a string of one nighters, that might change my view for the moment as I am trying to digest that information. However, if we are serious with one another, and he has shown me no reason to think that he is trying to continue that dangerous behavior, then we wouldn't have any problems. It all comes down to trust. Some women use sex as a way of feeling loved because they aren't getting it at home from parents, etc. Some men too. But that is a whole other post. :toast: But you have to take those kinds of things into account if you care about the person. And no one needs to know (family & friends), if he or she has been around, unless they have first hand knowledge. No sense in spreading negativity.
     
  10. kente417mojo

    kente417mojo Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    I definately would not tell family or friends if I did stay with her. I think I wouldn't stay with her though beause I am a guy and I don't sleep with alot of people. Well, maybe I have to some but I don't think I have if you compare to alot of people that I know. I like alot of sex but with the same people more or less. Unless I find someone that I'm really attracted to as far as body and mind, then it's time to get down. Anyone that has sex with 100 people isn't really screening them or worried about their personality. No one meets that many good people in a lifetime. I guess I'm a little selfish and I don't want that many people to have been up inside my girl...you know? Maybe people can turn over a new leaf but I have to admit that would be a tough one. If I was truly in love I think maybe I could get passed it if we really spoke on it and she explained why she was such a skank in her former life. Just kidding.
     
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