Black Relationships : Gaining weight after marriage

Discussion in 'Black Relationships' started by kente417mojo, Jun 16, 2004.

  1. kente417mojo

    kente417mojo Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Hey family. I have a question. If you married someone and they gained alot of weight after the marriage or during the course of the marriage, how would you feel? What if they did nothing to lose the weight, instead they kept getting bigger and more out of shape? Do you think it's your duty as a spouse to stick around for better or for worse? What could be done to make the situation better if the person is not motivated enough to lose the weight? Most of all, why does this happen? It's men and women that have a tendancy to "cease to impress" after the ring is on the finger.
     
  2. MANASIAC

    MANASIAC Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    My Thoughts on this matter:

    Weight Gain after marriage is one of the reasons why I primarliy talk to short skinny and slender women.

    Usually if a woman is a size 12 and she has 2 kids, then her size will be multipled by the number of the chirrenz, thus making her a size 24. Usually this happens alot with short women. Short women always blow up like ballons when they get chirrenz.

    If the chick is like 6'0 and a size 12 and has a kid alot of times she do not blow up. But If I am gone marry something, I prefer it to be a size 0 to 6, and about a nice height of 5'9 and up. Because if you multiply dem sizes by chirrenz MY WIFE IS GOING TO BE THICK AND LOVELY AFTER DEM CHIRRENZ.

    But seriously, I would probably divorce my wife if she blew up like the white house after we got married.

    I do not play fat games. If you aint tall and thick please do not apply. Short Bowling Pins make me look ugly in public mayne.
     
  3. Alkebulan

    Alkebulan Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    another good ? from u bro

    o k, i gv n on the cooking, rememba? :laugh:

    this is a totally different issue. firstly, i'm going 2 hv an understanding during the dating how important maintaining a good appearance, figure wise, is 2 this woman. no, i ain't lookin 4 no barbie look-a-like, but i ain't lookin 4 last yr's winner of the 'wide load' contest either. f u seriously xpect 2 keep tht wonderlust look out of my eyes & u wish 2 keep getting it on the regular, u nd 2 keep the trim, well, trimmed :laugh: . the brothers kno what i'm talkin bout.

    while there r no guarentee's, 2 my way of thinkin, f u spend sufficient time around ur prospective soul mate, both of u shld get a good idea of exactly where u stand (or sit) on this issue. it's important enuf 4 me 2 insert a weight & dress size limit n2 the vows, & nstead of, 'till death do u part', i'd like mine 2 b, 'until exercise do u stop, or xcessive weight do u gain'. :laugh:

    seriously, f u like 2 eat 4 two, all by yaself, what do u nd me 4?

    f they continue spreading & refuse 2 get off their but & exercise, they can park that baby someplace else. :laugh: :laugh:
     
  4. kente417mojo

    kente417mojo Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: Man, you guys got me dying over here. Those we two of the best responses I ever read. Anyways, man, I am a patient person, but for a woman to gain a ton of weight after she thought she had me locked is disrespectful. First of all, I don't sit around and snack all day, so she can't either. If you're not the exercising type, you better be the healthy eating type. I have a relative that got married a long time ago. Once he slipped that ring on her finger she instantly gained A LOT of weight. I mean instantly. Like when they engaged she was short and regular size. When they got around to getting married, people though she was pregnant. Over the years they've had 4 children and after each one she packed on more and more Ho Hos. I look at how miserable he looks and I feel for him. She doesn't really have any skills, so for him to leave now would be financial suicide. So he's pretty much stuck with a person who he can't possibly be attracted to physically. I mean she's short and round. I don't think that's fair for him to have to work all day and come home to her. Might as well work around the clock.

    Thanks for your replies brothas. :peace:
    Would you guys straight out divorce your mate or would you try and give them a timetable to loose the weight...or what? Go to the gym together? What would make the situation bearable........if anything?
     
  5. MANASIAC

    MANASIAC Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    She will have 6 months to loose the weight. If not I am riding out. But to be real tho. If she was someone who I really loved, I would work with her until she is comfortable with herself again.
     
  6. kente417mojo

    kente417mojo Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    I think that I would work with her to see if the commitment is there. She'd have to also go alone sometimes because I'm not a gym rat. I hear you on that dating slim women because then if they do gain they won't be fat, they'll be thicker. I love short women, but if they are short and already thick with no kids, then that's true, they'll blow-up. I like women that are short and about a size 4-6. With a nice butt, but not a big one. That way if she has a baby then she won't be all out of whack later on....hopefully. I just like short slim women period. But if I loved her I would try to work with her also. I think alot of it is the spouses fault because if you see your man or women getting big...you need to say something. It doesn't have to be harsh, but speak on it. If I saw that she was not commited enough to try and do something about the weight I might have to leave, because I'm not trying to spend my life staying in shape just so I can walk around with someone that doesn't feel the need to impress me anymore.
    :nuts:
     
  7. panafrica

    panafrica Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    If I felt my life was in danger, if she rolled on me in my sleep....then she'd have to lose weight. However if she gained a little weight 30-50lbs....hey that is part of life (especially after children). If you truly love someone, things like that don't bother you.
     
  8. MANASIAC

    MANASIAC Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Amen to that Pan and Kente. That is why I keep it slim and trill. My Mama been a size 4 since she was 18 and she is now 42 :), so that is my inspiriation.
     
  9. Alkebulan

    Alkebulan Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    divorce?

    hopefully, it won't go anywhere near tht far. hey, this is a person i thot enuf of 2 ask her 2 b w me 4eva, right? thas what i mean about the other qualities & makin sure they're n place well b4 we're even talkin marriage or cohabitation. there r more options availible 2day that there prob eva hv been, but attitude is crucial. this cld easily b a source of near constant :fight: :fight: between us & the aftermath cld spill out 2 other areas. don't get me wrong, i like a woman w junk n her trunk, jus not the whole junkyard n each cheek. :laugh: there is such a thing as 2 much of a good thang.

    regular exercise is paramount even 4 those not overweight, so, jus as it is an important part of my life, so wld i encorage her 2 make it a part of hers. but, like i said b4, this is something tht would b discussed relatively early on n the relationship, so, our attitudes toward exercise, diet, preventive medicine, & body maintenance wld b well known on both sides of the aisle. i hold myself 2 the same standard, & feel tht both parties hv a right 2 expect a reasonable facsimile of the person they married 10 - 20 yrs, & beyond, ago.

    i'm flexible, & wld prob not impose a time limit, since tht cld easily prove counter productive & elicit feelings of defensiveness. i prefer 2 gv her however long it takes, provided regular, measurable progress toward an agreed upon goal is made, and sufficient effort is evident 2 prevent reoccurance. however, f she gets all defiant about it: 'there's jus more of me 2 luv'; 'i am n shape, round is a shape'; 'u may as well get used 2 it cause these pounds ain't goin nowhere'; - well, mayb those pounds aren't, but u sure r :wave: :wave:

    :laugh:
     
  10. kente417mojo

    kente417mojo Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Why do you guys think this happens? Do you think it's a lack of motivation after marriage? Do people just cease to care about appearance because they already have someone? Is it that they just plain take the other person for granted and use the "for better or for worse" to the fullest extent? :laugh:
    I know that alot of people will say "well, I had a baby", and I don't know how hard it is to lose that weight, but is that an excuse to be over-weight for years and actually keep gaining. Don't you think you should nip-it once you see the fat creeping up? For men too because osmetimes men tend to eat chips and drink beer all day. Then the beer belly starts forming. Is it fair for a woman to have to caress that huge gut just because they took vows? Come on ladies, you know you'd be pissed too.
     
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