Black Relationships : Frustrated w/Black Relationships

Senegal

Well-Known Member
MEMBER
Jun 7, 2016
649
181
Maybe, just maybe it's a geographical thing considering I live in the land of materialism that is, Los Angeles California. The cost of living is expensive so I've come to the conclusion that professional black women who want an "established man" are seeking men who have earning power, not men like me who are recent college graduate students who are starting their careers out. But I've run out of rope. At 36 years of age with no kids, a graduate degree, a stable job I was always taught that brothers like me were rare and sought after.

I was wrong....

I mean, don't get me wrong, I meet females mostly at work, but a lot of women I have met lately have some serious psychological issues and/or trust issues. At lot of women of this caliber are very draining, many waste time in their own confusion, and most end up breaking it off due to their mistrust in men. Then comes the women are are either married, or in between marriages. I was told by another member to cast a wider net, well, I've done that. I think I've either have extremely bad luck or not meant to have a partner. I ask some of my co-workers to help a brother out but undoubtedly most will set me up with a "bigger woman." Nothing wrong with big women but my mother was a big woman and I had to see her suffer due to her weight when she contracted breast cancer. Her weight was debilitating and added more stress to her body along with the cancer.

Some of my friends want me to encourage the woman in a friendly manner to work out, but I'm done with encouraging women to want to be fit. Some are stuck on being obese and being proud, well, so be it. So what am I left with? Just the ones that have no man but have men issues. Like a recent young lady I met who I thought seemed cool but always kept "gaassing" herself up as a good woman as if by telling me I'm supposed to be convinced. Yet after one date my hand found its was introducing itself to her sex organ....Next! I am really one of the very few black men that wants to settle down and have a family, and the reason I've lasted this long with no kids is because I was afraid to get the wrong woman pregnant.

Some people always talk about "black love" but where I'm from, black people barely acknowledge each other's existence on the street, much less females out here think by speaking to them, you're trying to "hollar" at them.

"Yet after one date my hand found its was introducing itself to her sex organ....Next! "

Not sure what you mean by this? Were you testing her to see how far she would go on the first date?

Are you looking for a professional woman or a good woman? If I were you I would reaccess what I want in a woman. I would make a list of all the traits I want in her. After you complete your list take some time to ask yourself... "what type of man is deserving of such a woman?" Then set about making yourself into that man. She will appear if you start that journey. I had to give up women completely for 6 months and then I met my wife. We've talked about how there was no way in the world she would have dated me if I had met her while I was sleeping around with multiple women.
 
Last edited:

Chevron Dove

Well-Known Member
MEMBER
May 7, 2009
6,405
2,782
Maybe, just maybe it's a geographical thing considering I live in the land of materialism that is, Los Angeles California. The cost of living is expensive so I've come to the conclusion that professional black women who want an "established man" are seeking men who have earning power, not men like me who are recent college graduate students who are starting their careers out. But I've run out of rope. At 36 years of age with no kids, a graduate degree, a stable job I was always taught that brothers like me were rare and sought after.

I was wrong....

I mean, don't get me wrong, I meet females mostly at work, but a lot of women I have met lately have some serious psychological issues and/or trust issues. At lot of women of this caliber are very draining, many waste time in their own confusion, and most end up breaking it off due to their mistrust in men. Then comes the women are are either married, or in between marriages. I was told by another member to cast a wider net, well, I've done that. I think I've either have extremely bad luck or not meant to have a partner. I ask some of my co-workers to help a brother out but undoubtedly most will set me up with a "bigger woman." Nothing wrong with big women but my mother was a big woman and I had to see her suffer due to her weight when she contracted breast cancer. Her weight was debilitating and added more stress to her body along with the cancer.

Some of my friends want me to encourage the woman in a friendly manner to work out, but I'm done with encouraging women to want to be fit. Some are stuck on being obese and being proud, well, so be it. So what am I left with? Just the ones that have no man but have men issues. Like a recent young lady I met who I thought seemed cool but always kept "gaassing" herself up as a good woman as if by telling me I'm supposed to be convinced. Yet after one date my hand found its was introducing itself to her sex organ....Next! I am really one of the very few black men that wants to settle down and have a family, and the reason I've lasted this long with no kids is because I was afraid to get the wrong woman pregnant.

Some people always talk about "black love" but where I'm from, black people barely acknowledge each other's existence on the street, much less females out here think by speaking to them, you're trying to "hollar" at them.
Maybe, just maybe it's a geographical thing...
Well, speaking in terms of you being in Los Angelos, I would say yes, it probably is a geographical issue. But then speaking in terms of you being in America, well, I would say yes, it probably is a geographical issue!

We've been shaped and conditioned through many layers of societal propaganda on what the important issues are in seeking relationships. I don't think Black AfroAmericans are the same as we were in the past and so, today, this may be an issue when Black women seek relationships with men, whether or not they seek Black men or not.

However, I am grateful for the huge continent over there on the other side of the waters, because whether we realize it or not, it is Africa that sets the pace for Black African relationships and for this reason, there will always be Black Love! Some of the dominant Africans over there are dominant and they have their own land and government and they set the boundaries. For us over here in this Western Civilization, It's difficult to define our culture because of so much exploitation, but I do believe that it still exist though.
 

Chevron Dove

Well-Known Member
MEMBER
May 7, 2009
6,405
2,782
Maybe, just maybe it's a geographical thing considering I live in the land of materialism that is, Los Angeles California. The cost of living is expensive so I've come to the conclusion that professional black women who want an "established man" are seeking men who have earning power, not men like me who are recent college graduate students who are starting their careers out. But I've run out of rope. At 36 years of age with no kids, a graduate degree, a stable job I was always taught that brothers like me were rare and sought after.

I was wrong....

I mean, don't get me wrong, I meet females mostly at work, but a lot of women I have met lately have some serious psychological issues and/or trust issues. At lot of women of this caliber are very draining, many waste time in their own confusion, and most end up breaking it off due to their mistrust in men. Then comes the women are are either married, or in between marriages. I was told by another member to cast a wider net, well, I've done that. I think I've either have extremely bad luck or not meant to have a partner. I ask some of my co-workers to help a brother out but undoubtedly most will set me up with a "bigger woman." Nothing wrong with big women but my mother was a big woman and I had to see her suffer due to her weight when she contracted breast cancer. Her weight was debilitating and added more stress to her body along with the cancer.

Some of my friends want me to encourage the woman in a friendly manner to work out, but I'm done with encouraging women to want to be fit. Some are stuck on being obese and being proud, well, so be it. So what am I left with? Just the ones that have no man but have men issues. Like a recent young lady I met who I thought seemed cool but always kept "gaassing" herself up as a good woman as if by telling me I'm supposed to be convinced. Yet after one date my hand found its was introducing itself to her sex organ....Next! I am really one of the very few black men that wants to settle down and have a family, and the reason I've lasted this long with no kids is because I was afraid to get the wrong woman pregnant.

Some people always talk about "black love" but where I'm from, black people barely acknowledge each other's existence on the street, much less females out here think by speaking to them, you're trying to "hollar" at them.
Maybe, just maybe it's a geographical thing...
Well, speaking in terms of you being in Los Angelos, I would say yes, it probably is a geographical issue. But then speaking in terms of you being in America, well, I would say yes, it probably is a geographical issue!

We've been shaped and conditioned through many layers of societal propaganda on what the important issues are in seeking relationships. I don't think Black AfroAmericans are the same as we were in the past and so, today, this may be an issue when Black women seek relationships with men, whether or not they seek Black men or not.

However, I am grateful for the huge continent over there on the other side of the waters, because whether we realize it or not, it is Africa that sets the pace for Black African relationships and for this reason, there will always be Black Love! Some of the dominant Africans over there are dominant and they have their own land and government and they set the boundaries. For us over here in this Western Civilization, It's difficult to define our culture because of so much exploitation, but I do believe that it still exist though.
 

Kemetstry

going above and beyond
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Feb 19, 2001
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Um, do I know you? I don't even go on forums except this one and if you look at the time I actually created this account, it was very recent. I don't know what person you're talking about. But, what killed Ms. Holliday was cirrhosis of the liver which caused heart complications brought on by excessive drinking, not men.


And drugs



.
 

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Feeling good today fam...just been reading a couple of books. I think Dennis Kimbro's "Daily Motivations for African American Success" is one of the best motivational books on the market. This book has motivation for each day of the year on each page and all of these relate to your own Blackness. No matter what you're experiencing there's something in that book you could draw from. ✊
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