Jails / Prisons : Friendship With A Prisoner ?????

Discussion in 'Law Forum - Prisons - Gun Ownership' started by Destee, Aug 23, 2001.

  1. Destee

    Destee destee.com STAFF

    Country:
    United States
    Joined:
    Jan 22, 2001
    Messages:
    34,773
    Likes Received:
    8,979
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    betwixt and between
    Ratings:
    +9,677
    I met a man online some many years ago and recently rec'd a letter in the mail saying he is in prison, jail or whatever. He said he wasn't writing to ask for money, he was just lonely and remembered that I was a nice person and wanted to have someone to "talk" to via mail. He hopes that we can remain "friends" and simply correspond with each other. He said he was arrested for having counterfeit money in his posession (and there was a warrant for his arrest, he didn't mention what the warrant was for). He was always a pleasant person to chat with online, it never went any further than that. I've not written back and am not sure that I am going to.

    The whole idea of this makes me think about the fact that so many women get involved with men who are locked up. I saw a documentary on TV where these men are experts at telling women exactly what they want to hear, able to give them the illusion of love and attention ... using them all along. I'm not suggesting this man is trying to do that, just mentioning that it does happen.

    ::sigh::

    Anyway, would you write him back? Would it be only to tell him that you don't want to "start" anything? Or would you be the kind sweet person that feels everyone deserves a friend and try to be that friend to him during his trying time? :eeek:

    Destee
     
  2. cocobutterskyn

    cocobutterskyn Well-Known Member MEMBER

    Country:
    United States
    Joined:
    May 25, 2001
    Messages:
    4,182
    Likes Received:
    170
    Gender:
    Female
    Occupation:
    Spreading Joy.... need some?
    Location:
    Sixburgh, Pa.
    Ratings:
    +220
    Good Morning Destee,

    My opinion, If I had already been some what friends with the person, I would write. However, it would only been once a month or maybe less. I would keep it on a friendship level and if he should try to take it to another level, I'd let him know it is not my desire and if he continued to push the issue, I'd nolonger write. Then the decision is left with him. If he wants a friend, he'll keep it at that level, but if it's a woman he seeks, write someone else.

    I've heard women do this often and some have children, so it isn't only themselves they put at risk. It's very frightening, you only know what they tell you. Or is there some way you can find out what kind of trouble they were in?

    Madd Sistahly Love:heart:
    CCBSKYN
     
  3. shaneak

    shaneak Well-Known Member MEMBER

    Country:
    United States
    Joined:
    Apr 6, 2001
    Messages:
    1,142
    Likes Received:
    6
    Occupation:
    Technical Support engineer
    Location:
    Atlanta
    Ratings:
    +7
    I agree wit Coco...

    There's no harm in writing a letter once a month... I wouldn't do it personally but thats because i'm not one to take the time out to write letters like dhat. But if you don't mind writing then I say... what harm could it do as long as you keep it strictly friends... ;)
     
  4. diva08

    diva08 Well-Known Member MEMBER

    Joined:
    Feb 12, 2001
    Messages:
    169
    Likes Received:
    0
    Occupation:
    elementary music teacher
    Location:
    florida
    Ratings:
    +0
    nothing like a friend

    Everybody needs a friend. But they must understand that there was a crime committed and one of the consequences is people being afraid of them and not trusting them for anything. Providing a listening ear once a month is a good thing. Accepting collect calls and visits and things of that sort - you can leave them for those chicks that are "fallin'" like Alicia Keyes. LOL

    d
     
  5. Destee

    Destee destee.com STAFF

    Country:
    United States
    Joined:
    Jan 22, 2001
    Messages:
    34,773
    Likes Received:
    8,979
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    betwixt and between
    Ratings:
    +9,677
    Coco ... yes, he does sound like it is just a friendship thing but I do wonder if he is being honest regarding why he was locked up. I wonder too what the warrant was for ... my daughter and I both looked at each and said ... "murder?"

    Kemetstry ... he said that he had someone get my pobox from my web site, that is where he wrote to me. I wouldn't imagine that he has access to email in jail/prison.

    Shaneak ... I'm with you, I don't have the time or inclination to write letters. I'm pretty busy and don't always take the time to nurture (properly) the very real and dear friendships that are in my life.

    MsDiva ... yes yes yes yes yes ... there is certainly a fear factor when becoming even slightly involved with someone who has/is doing prison time (especially if you don't really know them).

    I think I will write, acknowledging receipt of his letter and letting him know that I'm very busy and it may be infrequent that he hears from me. He was a very nice person online and is certainly deserving of a response from me.

    Thanks Yall.

    Destee
     
  6. $$RICH$$

    $$RICH$$ Lyon King Admin. STAFF

    Country:
    United States
    Joined:
    Mar 21, 2001
    Messages:
    69,983
    Likes Received:
    3,977
    Gender:
    Male
    Occupation:
    BUSINESS owner
    Location:
    Da~WINDY*CITY //CHICAGO
    Ratings:
    +4,177
    DESTEE

    TRUELY THEIRS NOTHING WRONG WIT A FRIENDLY
    LETTER OF COMFORT YET COZ ONE BE LOCKED UP
    DON'T MAKE HIM ALL THAT BAD........SO MANY OF US
    GET INTO A POINT OF LONELYNESS IF WAS SOMEWHAT
    FRIENDS THEN IT'S O KAY TO WRITE

    BE VERY ALERT AND KEEP IT TO FRIENDSHIP
    WATCH ALL AND WHAT U TALK ABOUT
    NEVER GIVE REASON TO HIM IT COULD BE MORE
    BUT IT'S ALL GOOD TO WRITE
     
  7. epiphany

    epiphany Well-Known Member MEMBER

    Country:
    United States
    Joined:
    Sep 2, 2001
    Messages:
    1,556
    Likes Received:
    33
    Location:
    Raleigh, NC by way of Pittsburgh, Pa.
    Ratings:
    +40
    Hello Destee..

    I know I'm a little late with the response....:oops:. I was in this position years ago, I started a penpal friendship with someone who was imprisoned in a Federal Penitentiary for striking an officer, so he said. He seem nice enough, eventually it cooled for me and I moved on. I agree with,
    maybe a letter once in awhile......but in any situation like that, the most important thing is going with your trusty intuition. If you see any red flags... early, abandon ship. Sometimes with people in jail, they don't have a lot of outside correspondence, so they tend to become quite attached and dependent on those who show them attention. Just be careful, and proceed with caution.

    Recognize a volatile situation before you become a part of it, is the advice I give to any woman at the start of a relationship whether it be friendship or what they think is love.

    Epiphany :heart:
     
Loading...
Similar Threads - Friendship Prisoner
  1. vineslovy
    Replies:
    1
    Views:
    109
  2. $$RICH$$
    Replies:
    0
    Views:
    310
  3. Clyde C Coger Jr
    Replies:
    1
    Views:
    505
  4. bobbie
    Replies:
    75
    Views:
    7,699
  5. $$RICH$$
    Replies:
    8
    Views:
    1,996