Black Relationships : Friends of The Opposite Sex

Discussion in 'Black Relationships' started by Keita Kenyatta, Mar 15, 2012.

  1. Keita Kenyatta

    Keita Kenyatta going above and beyond PREMIUM MEMBER

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    How many people here have friends of the opposite sex? I mean friends...somebody that you haven't been intimate with? Does being intimate change that friendship or are they considered friends with benefits? I have personally only had one friend of the opposite sex that I was not intimate with. Not that I didn't think about it...I just never went there with her.
     
  2. Asomfwaa

    Asomfwaa Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Most of my opposite sex friends aren't intimate with me.

    Their ages range from 15 to 50 years my senior.

    My fault is being a young man in the African Liberation business. Too many old farts. No offense to the old farts. :p

    Though I also know a woman five years my senior, not really about African liberation, who I didn't get around to being intimate with, since I learned that she had divorced a White man. Truly, my mentality at the time, prohibited me from backing up.
     
  3. Keita Kenyatta

    Keita Kenyatta going above and beyond PREMIUM MEMBER

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    Don't sweat it...most men don't know that they are literally ******** their brains out anyway. One thing is a fact; those who have no control over that area can forget about any spiritual awakening or development as there will nothing down there for us to raise back up our spines to activate that third eye.
     
  4. Keita Kenyatta

    Keita Kenyatta going above and beyond PREMIUM MEMBER

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  5. rapunzal24

    rapunzal24 Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    I have a few friends of the opposite sex that I have never slept with. Actually all of my male friends and acquaintances I have never slept with. For me being intimate would definitely change the dynamic of the relationship, I tried the friends with benefits things and that ended up turning into a 4 year relationship, lol! But no, there would be certain expectations that I expected from a man after we slept together.
     
  6. $$RICH$$

    $$RICH$$ Lyon King Admin. STAFF

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    Let me say i had both , but never one to be a friend with benefits
     
  7. MsVeraisblessed

    MsVeraisblessed Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    How many people here have friends of the opposite sex?

    *raise'n hand*

    I do have a couple of friends that i enjoy conversating with and not worry bout being intimate with.
     
  8. skuderjaymes

    skuderjaymes Contextualizer Synthesizer MEMBER

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    I have many friends, in the lightest sense of the word, of the opposite sex. Many many. I come from a family of women.. 8 aunts and many female cousins. My best friend for many years was my female cousin. When I was younger I found female friends to be closer. But as time has passed, I find that female friends are more distant and male friendships are closer/deeper. My female friendships are so fragile because of that ever-present line that can be so easily and naturally crossed. Their is a constant pressure there.. a constant natural tension that has to be consciously and openly acknowledged and handled. I like to shine a light on it right away so it can't creep up on us by surprise. It's like we have to put each other in some box and establish some protective distance as soon as possible after we meet. I have had a many friendships that fell apart because we misunderstood our energies and ended up in some emotional place we didn't intend to go.

    But then again, turning this analytical engine toward myself... I'm realizing that I'm a pretty selfish dude.. even my apparent selflessness is selfish in it's motivation.. and I'm not sure to what degree that plays a part in the way my relationships with people, romantic and platonic, begin.. proceed.. and end. After the way this last alledgedly platonic relationship ended, my confidence in my ability to maintain friendships with women is on it's last leg. I lost one of my most valued friendships over some romantic hollywood-type shi* that I should have shutdown as soon as it reared it's ugly head.. but the emotional payoff was too beautiful.. too fulfilling.. and I used it to fill some fundamental void in my own emotional landscape.. and I think I may be addicted to it.. to the filling of that spot.. that might be what's behind my music.. and my performing.. and, to a lesser degree, my writing and my painting.. I wonder.
     
  9. Destee

    Destee destee.com STAFF

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    I think it's a (life) challenge to have opposite sex friends, without intimacy rearing its head and acting upon it.

    It's so automatic, all of the pieces are in place ... you're friends, which means you care about each other already on some base levels.

    Levels required for intimacy ... add the opposite sex to it ... natural desires we all have ... and it's a recipe for what could be disaster.

    I think it takes a very strong resolve not to give in to such ... for you'll probably feel it somewhere along the life of the friendship.

    If one can honor their friendships while managing properly and respectfully the natural desires ... they're head and shoulders above most.

    In this day and time ... all are encouraged to give in to fleshly desires ... leaving this kind of living unheard of, and certainly not celebrated.

    Love You!

    :heart:

    Destee
     
  10. Kemetstry

    Kemetstry going above and beyond PREMIUM MEMBER

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    Me *raising hand*


    ..
     
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