Foster Parenting - Just For The Money

Discussion in 'Black Parenting' started by CarrieMonet, Nov 3, 2004.

  1. CarrieMonet

    CarrieMonet Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Well, I guess you could say I am now the proud mommy of another girl.

    My daughter's best friend "C" moved in with us last night after having been kicked out of her foster home. She turned 18 a few weeks ago and although she is still in high school, her foster mother kicked her out. Funny how that coincides with the fact that she will no longer recieve money from the state for this child.

    How foul is that? I don't mind her living with us, she is always at our house anyway. Plus she has been trying to move in with us since she was 11 when she first became a foster child. (her mother abondoned her for the crack pipe)

    I just think some people are not fit to be foster parents. To top it off, the foster mother is FAMILY of this girl...so that makes her doubly FOUL. This woman never wanted "C" in the first place but kept her around for the money. I have never asked her what she really does for this girl...since the child is working two part time jobs and buys her own clothes. She has been eating dinner at our house for the better part of the last 3 years...and she stayed with us for two weeks this summer.

    Anyway...I love this kid and so does my daughter. She is a welcomed addition in our home.

    But what are your views about Foster parenting? Do you think your duty ends when the child is 18 regardless of whether or not they are still in school? I hate to see children being used for the money...
     
  2. Caribbean_Voice

    Caribbean_Voice Member MEMBER

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    :hearthis: Well, I must say that i thrive off of foster parenting.....i do nothing for the money...I was diagnosed with PCOS and cant have kids....I am working on adopting children, but, all I can do now is foster.....I dont think the people who do it for the money should start fostering in the first place....Children are our precious gifts from GOD
     
  3. panafrica

    panafrica Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    First I have to say that what you are doing is beautiful CarrieMonet. Secondly the foster system in this country is flawed, and unfortunately many foster parents are looking at the children as paychecks. Actually one of my wife's classmates told us after we had our daughter to consider becoming foster parents, "they pay you $800 dollars a month". I responded that I was going to take in a child, money would not be a motivation. I'm sure it is not a coincidence that this young lady's foster mom kicked her out as soon as the check's started coming, just as I'm sure she'll have another check...opps, I mean foster child in a week. When you take in child, he/she is your responsibility. Indeed you become their parent and your obligation to them is for life (until they are able to support themselves & beyond). This often doesn't happen in the foster care system because of the financial motivation. I feel that adoption is a better method of taking in children.
     
  4. CarrieMonet

    CarrieMonet Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Thank you.
    I don't think this woman will be getting another child, this young lady is her neice and she hasn't even let her get clothes from the house. Clearly from everything that is still unfolding the entire family was in on this.

    Yesterday I had to finally step in and try to talk with this woman. I found out that her husband doesn't want "C" there anymore and that was the driving point. They also have a 25 year old pregnant daughter living with them and she wants "C"'s room for the new baby (instead of getting her own place).

    Apparenly, the AUNT still has to sign papers to release "C" from her guardianship...but I won't be taking that over. I will help her get finish school so she can take care of her needs.

    In the end "C" is much happier with us.

    I guess I will never understand greed... in relation to how you treat family members.
     
  5. panafrica

    panafrica Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    hmmm....difficult situation! I guess being fair, this lady does have the right to take care of her daughter & future grandchild (over a niece). Just out of curiosity Carrie, did she know that you would take in this girl, or did she intend to put "C" out in the street?
     
  6. CarrieMonet

    CarrieMonet Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    She put her on the street as punishment for getting into an arguement with the 25 year old. She knew the only place she had to go was to the crackhead relatives - and that "C" would not want to go there. The first night on the streets she went to her cousin's house, but they sell drugs and have too much traffic in the house.

    When "C" called me to ask if she could stay with us, she was crying and very upset. I honestly don't think the Aunt thought for one second that I would let her move in, which is why when I went to talk to her she then tried to apologize to "C" for her decision...blaming it on HUBBY and her pregnant daughter (both of whom have been in the house the last 7 years that "c" has been in their custody). I could tell she was embarrassed...but she wasn't sorry. She was embarrassed to be caught being so evil to this child by not letting her get her book bags, school clothes and belongings out of her house. "C"'s aunt is in her early 50's...I've always tried to be cordial with her and respectful of her until yesterday. She didn't have to keep "C", but I'm disappointed in how she handled things (and I let her know that).

    This morning she called me and told me she decided she would give "C" her cell phone back...so that family could reach her. (for what I don't know)

    At any rate, I'm not sure if this will be a permanent situation or not. I just know that "C" is almost like a 13 year old....she has very childlike mannerisms, silly and very happy despite her circumstances. She seems happy to be in our home, and so I'll just play it by ear.
     
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