Black Spirituality Religion : For Those of Youy Who Left Christianity or Some Other Dogmatic Religion

Discussion in 'Black Spirituality / Religion - General Discussion' started by river, Dec 13, 2005.

  1. river

    river Watch Her Flow MEMBER

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    How did you handle the disappointment of your family? I tried to talk about this on a website dedicated to those who had left the Church but that site was not really for me because many of them felt the only alternative to Christianity is atheism. I'm looking for my Creator whom I met before I ever heard of Christianity. So I'd like to discuss this with my family here at Destee since I know we are on the same page.

    I have not discussed my decision with anyone in my family. I did tell my cousin to turn off the gospel music she was trying to get me to listen to because at the same time she was cussing up a storm and telling me all the mean things she's done to pay her soon to be ex husband back. I did not feel the need to pretend to want to hear something that was obviously not helping her so I just told her to turn it off.

    When I weigh the cost--the heartbreak of my mother (an ordained evangelist), the disappointment of my stepfather (an ordained preacher), the possibility that I may not even get out of this bible belt town alive--against the dubious benefits of self disclosure I just don't see myself telling them at this point.

    I am the one who years ago encouraged my cousin to go to church when she was troubled in her mind. Back then I thought that was the answer for her but there has been no change in her life. I am the one who knew the bible inside out and inspired everyone with the tenacity with which I bore my disabilities. For me to turn away would be the shock of the century. Yet I have and y'all know why.

    It gets uncomfortable somethmes of course when they throw around the christian cliches as if I were still with them spiritually. I just keep my mouth closed==not telling a lie but not blurting out a truth I know they can't receive.

    Is my silence a cowardly evasion or is it the cross I bear to avoid disrupting my family?
     
  2. Monetary

    Monetary going above and beyond PREMIUM MEMBER

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    No. I don't think your silence is a sign of cowardly evasion. We must be very careful with what we tell others about ourselves. However, disclosing specific experiences about ourselves will help others in their decision-making about the same experience if they face it one day or have faced it.

    I say share it with them in a very gentle and subtle way. Ask them questions which will lead them down that path of thought...not necessarily in action. They may see what you see and you not know it. They just may agree with you. :D
     
  3. ibrahim

    ibrahim Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Well, in my family it's the other way round.
    Three of my sibblings are christians even though our parents are muslims.
    My mum was a christian before she married my dad and she accepted islam whole heartedly(spelling) Her senior sister who is a cristian and whom my other senior sibblings grew up with were influenced by her.
    My dad personally has no problem with that. He believes every one is free to chose whatever kind of worship you like once you acknowledge there is GOD.
    But his brothers ( our uncles) who are also muslims think my dad has not given my other sibblings a good up bringing thus they've become wayward by being christian. They believe once our parents epecially our dad is a christian. We too should be. But he doesn't mind.
     
  4. Son of RA

    Son of RA STAFF STAFF

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    Sista River,
    I feel ya. It can get crazy at times. I have disappointed my family but life goes on. For me I remember Queen Mother/Warrioress Harriet Tubman who had to leave love ones on the plantation because they thought they were free. This sista willed to be free and nothing was going to stop her. She did say, " Give me liberty or give me death." Like Tubman you have chosen to be free and must continue even though love ones think you are crazy. You have been blessed with the light. Continue on since you can not please the world. I too choose to be silent concerning certain subjects, especially religion. Debating and arguring with the family is not what I choose to direct my energy towards. It just leads to fighting and that is what the white supremacists want (divide and conquer). I have family, one side muslims, the other christians, who do not deal with each other, but yet white america is out to destroy both sides and their children. What a shame they fight and the white supremacists are out to get them both regardless of beliefs. Your silence is not a sign of cowardly evasion but a sign of strength. I strive to teach my family by example. The one thing that is important I found out, STAY HUMBLE when dealing with them and remember you were once in their shoes.

    Expanded Tranquility
     
  5. toylin

    toylin Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    I'm the only Muslim in a family of Christians, While there are some raised eyebrows, no one has really said anything yet. Of course, I'm not the first to turn away from my "traditional" upbringing. My mother's sister is a member of the African Hebrew Israelites, and lives in Dimona, Israel. My parents have always been the type to say "whatever you choose to be, if if makes you a better person, go for it." One thing I have noticed, though, is that if you act like you're unsure of your decision, people will ride you, and try to force you to change your mind. If you walk in whatever you believe in proudly, especially without coming across as preachy or "holier-than-thou" people will more readily accept you. With family, must of our families just want to see us happy. If you constantly live your life for other people, you will never be happy. Just remember to be openminded and respectful. Typically, people will begin to pay you the same respect.
     
  6. river

    river Watch Her Flow MEMBER

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    Thanks family. This is all useful advice.

    There is a time for everything. I just want to make sure I am prepared for that time with all the knowledge I can get and all the strength the Creator can give me.

    I know what they will say initially. But I don't know what their course of action will be. One thing that everyone in my family says of me that I am stubborn and once I decide to do something there is not much anyone can say to me. It's an irony because the same ones that complain how stubborn I am whaen it comes to what they want me to do will come back and say they wish they had my strength and decisiveness in dealing with their own problems.
     
  7. info-moetry

    info-moetry STAFF STAFF

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    \

    - there within, the problem has already been solved..............my Great sister!

    peace........
     
  8. Radical Faith

    Radical Faith Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Sister though I am still a disciple of Christ/Yashua/Jesus I am not satisfied with the direction his church is going in. I especially say this of my own church. I don't feel the serious committment to ministry from my brothers and sisters and quite often feel like I'm doing everything by myself or with little help. Maybe I should not feel this way but there must be balance. Being a good husband and father is serving God also. One doesn't have to preach on the street corner to serve God. I also I'm look to go forward and not back or to something else. All I can say is every walk between a person an God is between a person and God. You have heard me speak about what we feel. It is obvious that you are feeling something else. Your spirit is being drawn somewhere else. This is not a bad thing. God takes us on a journey of which we must travel with God only. No one will fully understand. This is why you must stay focused on God's plan for you. It is not for anyone to say what is right or wrong. Everything that happens in someones life serves a purpose in the grand scheme of things. Sister again stay focused on God and you'll be alright and so will everyone else...


    Peace....
     
  9. j'hiah

    j'hiah Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    stay true to yourself. lt is so true that only God can judge you.
    At one point or two, my people didn't know who l was becoming.
    lt was only that l was seeking God for myself by myself. Had l depended on a church, l am convinced l would have gotten little to nowhere.
    l am glad that Jesus's words and actions changed my life.
    May the Creator comfort you, give you peace and guide you.

    peace.
     
  10. river

    river Watch Her Flow MEMBER

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    Astonished is the only word that describes how I feel right now.

    When I saw your name in this thread brotha J'hiah, I immediately went UH OH and braced myself to be lamblasted and told I am going to hell. But I nearly fell out of my chair when i read your post and I sincerely appreciate the love and wisdom with which you now speak.

    I know that God is directing me in the right direction. If it is the truth that makes us free then that is what I must look for.

    Hotep
     
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