Black Relationships : For the Love of Money

Discussion in 'Black Relationships' started by HerukhuMaat, Oct 23, 2005.

  1. HerukhuMaat

    HerukhuMaat Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    :new: Relationships and Money.
    The two things that affect our lives greatly, but are never taught by parents or learning institutions how to effectively manage.

    50% of all marriages in the U.S. end in divorce. That means couples have a 1 out of 2 chance to make it until death do they part and finances is cited as the #1 factor that leads to divorce.

    The American family is decaying and many Americans are a paycheck away from being homeless.
    Good customer service is hard to find, and there's an overwhelming increase in the last ten years of households led by single mothers.

    Money and Relationships, what's your take on it?
    Let's give some real advice and solutions to some very real problems.
     
  2. spicybrown

    spicybrown Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    My Take On This...

    It is difficult to sustain a healthy relationship without money, and extremely difficult to find a genuine relationship when one person has plenty of it, and the other doesn't. It's all about balance and morals. Many break-ups and divorces stem from financial problems. Being with a money-hungry or gold-digging significant other doesn't help either. Folks need to look deeper than the surface when courting.JMHO
     
  3. MANASIAC

    MANASIAC Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    I will paste an orignial post I made in relation to this:

    Me and the Wife both own about 3 houses between the three of us, and make enough money to stay alone before we get married. Our logic is that we are preparing ourselves financially for a perfect economical merger. We will not be moving into make the ends meet, we will be moving in to increase our wealth, we have developed an informal plan already which has generated multiple streams of income outside of our jobs; moreover, when we come together we will be able to invest 50 to 60 percent of our income per year, which will create capital that will gives us the financial sovereignty to not work for anyone but to create our businesses so we can give jobs back to our people. We are only in our late 20's, we belive in creating a stable financial foundation for our future generations, I believe that other young blacks need to start thinking in the same manner.

    Me and my wife have never believed in moving just to pay bills. The problem with our society is that people are living above their means. If you only make 24,000 a year you should only be living a 24,000 a year lifestyle not a 50,000 one. I mean I make roughly 40,000 a year and I only live about a 15 to 20,000a year lifestyle, and most of that money goes to paying mortgage and my bills.

    I believe that once black people realize that materialism and consumerism are the tools of the White bourgeoisie to keep the Black masses down, we will have the same economical revolution that brother Marcus Garvey envisioned for us with Pan Africanism
     
  4. Dual Karnayn

    Dual Karnayn Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    This was done by design.

    Prior to WWII most women stayed at home and kept the family and household while the men made money.

    It was considered "low class" for a married woman to have to work for a living....even during the Great Depression.
    That's why women Roosevelt took office he instituted the "bread-winners wage" so that men with families could get a little extra money to take care of thier dependants.

    But during WWII when so many men were oversea fighting, the ruling classes had to fill the manufacturing and service positions with women. The child labor laws prevented them from using children as was the case in the past.

    When managers saw that most women could do the same work men could do for cheaper pay and with less complaints....they lowered the wages and pushed politicians to allow more women in the work place.

    This was the beginning of the break up of the family.

    What reason did most women have to stay with any man if they were making just as much or more money has him?
    They could grow up and take care of themselves without a men in their lives.

    "You cheated on me...kiss my @$$....I'm leaving"

    "You talk to me the wrong way....kiss my @$$....I'm leaving"

    "I found a new man...at my new JOB...kiss my @$$....I'm leaving"



    The WORK-PLACE has done more to break up families than any other institution because most affairs take place with co-workers.

    Men no longer had an "obligation" to stay with a woman and take care of her, many actualy encouraged their women to work.
     
  5. kente417mojo

    kente417mojo Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Money is just as much a part of a relationship as love is nowadays. It's not only a matter of providing, it's now a matter of spoiling and splurging. If that doesn't take place, there will always be a void in the relationship because you'll continuosly see others with something you want. In America excess is becoming a common goal for the majority. If you don't have excess, you are seen as unsuccessful and the demand for unsuccessful people just isn't there. How can two people be completely in love if they use the majority of their time and energy chasing a dollar and the American dream? It's not possible. Especially if you're engulfed in the ritual of holidays and overspending due to pressures to keep up with the next man or woman. Due to the pressure of money (IMO) relationships are just merging finances between two people who like or love eachother secondly, whether both or one realizes it or not. Like someone said earlier, most of the problems arise when one or both of the parties are not financially stable. That's when you really see how the balance between love and money shifts toward one side than the other.
     
  6. spicybrown

    spicybrown Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Dual Karnayn

    YOU: ""You cheated on me...kiss my @$$....I'm leaving"

    "You talk to me the wrong way....kiss my @$$....I'm leaving"

    "I found a new man...at my new JOB...kiss my @$$....I'm leaving""

    None of this abuse is acceptable, this is why individuals need to polish^ their game so their MATE wont have a reason to leave. Plain&Simple
     
  7. Keita Kenyatta

    Keita Kenyatta going above and beyond PREMIUM MEMBER

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    For me this is a difficult subject and yet one that demands immediate attention: Everyday that I got to work I see elderly people who are no better off than they were when they were 20, 30, 40, or 50. I simply can not see myself getting up in age and still have to worry about where the next dollar is going to come from.

    I can not envision myself having to depend on social security or welfare or medicade in order to live. I can not envision myself as having to go out at 56 or 60 looking for a job because my rent is due or anything else. I SIMPLY CAN NOT SEE IT !!!

    Now if I am married, which I am, and we can not envision and see the future to this degree then it's time to go..love always begins with self and then extends outwards, and if my wife does not love herself enough to want and do for herself what she knows the future demands, then I would consider myself an absolute fool to stick around knowing that my future fate will be the same as hers because we didn't move on what we knew to be true as it regards the future and our lives.
     
  8. Dual Karnayn

    Dual Karnayn Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Keita

    Me neither.

    I didn't come from a rich or even middle-class family, but I never lived in poverty.
    I never had to struggle for sh*t from a child on up to adulthood and sure can't see myself doing it as an old man. That's why if this economy doesn't change I'm gonna have to relocate.
     
  9. kente417mojo

    kente417mojo Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    You better start looking man. I feel the same way and I'm looking elsewhere already. This country in going to destroy itself. Yes, money plays a major role. Marriages that have two people going seperate directions as far as money (one has and one doesn't or one is driven by money and one isn't) don't last very long.
     
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