Black Relationships : For Males Only

Discussion in 'Black Relationships' started by legit-writer, Jun 21, 2005.

  1. legit-writer

    legit-writer Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Let's say you had a long distance relationship with a girl or whatnot. You have feelings for this girl, but she has went through a lot of sh*t in her life, so she has a hard time trusting people, which is something that she is trying to work on. And all of a sudden, you email, her, telling her that it's best that you and her don't talk anymore, because it seems like he is always hurting her, and that he haters himself for that, and that he is going to close the door of communcation between y'all. And after all , calls and leave all kinds of messages, and instead of deleting her messages, you save them. Why would you do it? What would be the reason you would save her messages for?
    Thanks
     
  2. jamesfrmphilly

    jamesfrmphilly going above and beyond PREMIUM MEMBER

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    what in the world are you talking about?
    i'd like to help but i can not understand what you mean.
     
  3. legit-writer

    legit-writer Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    What is hard to understand about it? Okay. Simply put: If you told a girl you had strong feelings for that you think that it's best that you and her don't talk anymore, but yet you save her messages when she calls, even after you already told her that you do not want to talk to her anymore, why would you save them for? What would be your reason, personally?
     
  4. Destee

    Destee destee.com STAFF

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    Sister Legit-Writer ... i know you titled this "For Males Only" ... but uhhhh ... everyone can respond to everything ... and i'm a woman and wanted to say ...

    Sister ... i understand your question ... but i don't understand how you skipped over the questions of ...

    "Why is she still calling a man that said he does not want to communicate with her anymore?"

    ... and ...

    "How does she know he's saving the phone messages, if she's not getting to talk to him, because she has to leave a message?"

    ... i mean ... i'd want to know the answers to those questions, before i wanted to know ... "Why does he save the messages?"

    Do you already have the answers to those questions?

    It sounds a bit obsessive, to want to know such a thing about a man that has said he does not want you.

    :heart:

    Destee
     
  5. legit-writer

    legit-writer Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Thank you. At least you understand what I am saying.
     
  6. legit-writer

    legit-writer Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    First of all. I just cooked up this scenario. Second of all, I am that girl who is supposedly obsessive and has trust issues. Third of all, no I do not have the answers to the questions, and that is why I am just cooking up a scenario of what ifs. Fourth of all, it doesn't say anything in my post about him not wanting me. He has strong *** feelings for me, but he just doesn't want to talk right now. Fifth of all, I know that he saves his messages because his friend told me that he is getting my messages and that he said that he saved them. And sixth of all, please read my post thoroughly the next time before jumping in saying things that do not add up.

    Thank You :insane:
     
  7. legit-writer

    legit-writer Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    :confused: I didn't understand what you meant.
     
  8. karmashines

    karmashines Banned MEMBER

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    Well, since Destee has responded, I'll give my two cents too.

    It may be just a matter of the man not having deleted his messages. My answering service has messages from a month ago. Or, maybe he might be considering the woman for easy sex. Either way, if it were me, I wouldn't worry about someone who said he wasn't interested. If he truly had a change of heart he would call and do what is necessary to get the relationship going... there would be no guesswork involved.
     
  9. Destee

    Destee destee.com STAFF

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    k Sister ... i stand corrected

    :heart:

    Destee
     
  10. $$RICH$$

    $$RICH$$ Lyon King Admin. STAFF

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    even as you are having trouble trusting someone at the same time
    one will not forever be on hold and wait , at some point they will move on
    if he feel at this time he wish to not talk anymore for the long feed he has
    recieved many people save messages not only is yours saved so it's not
    that he saving it because of you but he just want to feel you out from the
    messages you leave could be one reason and if he really cared this much
    and have those feelings he would not neglect your calls.......He may be moving
    on slowly and you becoming his pass ....you have to allow self to open up and
    give a lead way to trust but never lay your cards on the table til you sure

    so to say the reason he save messages from you is because it's what he do
    or could be as stated he feeling you out through your messages left , it kinda
    let him know if the wait and time is worth his or if you are trying to give trust

    my thing is you should be able to trust until someone take that trust
    you can't go round holding everyone you meet in the box of unworthiness
    because a pass swing or hurt , he might be the right healer for you but
    if he really care he wouldn't be overlooking your calls seem like his fire
    for you is dem and near out .......if he told you it's time to let go then
    you should let go as he did and stop crashing his phone indeed this
    sound like someone is obsessive .

    A man reasons could be many with not detailes to follow ...............
    but it's not because how deep he is for you don't think that because
    facts is before you, he not answering your calls he moving on and you
    should too and allow self to be sure and ready to be open and give a
    chance to trust before you seek a heart again of play with one .........
     
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