Poetry Critiques : Food for Thought

Versatile

Well-Known Member
REGISTERED MEMBER
Mar 20, 2005
162
4
A sugar that’s so sweet
Awakening my Saliva
Because I Hunger for you
No, NO wrong choice of words
I’m famished
I need you so badly
You only know an iota of what I crave
Wanting you has never been enough
I wanna devour you slowly
One aspect of you at a time
I’ve tasted you one
Or maybe twice
Alright, three times
And that’s all I am willing to admit
B-cuz I can’t be lackadaisical in your flavor
You come in many assortments
Tickling my taste buds
You make me so greedy
I’ve been feeding off of your mind
For so long That you’ve
Imprinted on me
I’ve been drinking your wisdom
Like it’s my daily devotion, I wouldn’t spill a drop
I’ve chewed up your every desire
So thoroughly
So that it can be digested in my system
I wouldn’t want to regurgitate
All the things that make you happy
You’ve spoon fed me the knowledge of “you”
Each spoonful reminding me of your long lasting beauty
You’ve taught me how to prepare you
And with that recipe
You’ll never find me playin’ with my food.
 
whoa...let me first say that i am impressed with your concept for this piece...the title matched the poem perfectly in this prose...bravo...now...let's get into it

this freeverse peice that you layed on us flowed very well and the word usage gave the reader a sense of a feast of some sort with the visuals and the many refrences to food. sometimes poems that do not rhyme have more freedom in terms of the direction in which they can travel because they are not restricted by a certain patterns or certain vowel sounds. i got that sense from this poem, the sense that you took it where it needed to go...great poem....please keep writting...

one love
khasm
 

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