Quiet Poetry Lounge : Fine

skuderjaymes

Contextualizer Synthesizer
REGISTERED MEMBER
Nov 2, 2009
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She says,
if she would’ve known then
what she knows now,
she never would have said “I do."

She turns to me.

I say,
I would’ve spent more time
with my Grandfather before he died
--him and Uncle Essie.

She says,
as tears well-up in her eyes,
that she’s leaving me.

And all I can think to say,
is "Fine."
 
Peace skuderjaymes:
This short one always seem to speak volumes.
I read it several times and I could see myself
having this conversation, except I would have
been the one saying "Fine". I could not help
but wonder did you really mean it when
you said it (that's if the piece is about you) or
was it said from the shock of her saying she's leaving.
Sometimes we say things and wish we can take them
back as soon as the words leave our lips.

I really enjoy your writing style, its very thought
provoking. Please keep sharing your art.


Much Luv & Peace,


~4EVER
 
Peace skuderjaymes:
This short one always seem to speak volumes.
I read it several times and I could see myself
having this conversation, except I would have
been the one saying "Fine". I could not help
but wonder did you really mean it when
you said it (that's if the piece is about you) or
was it said from the shock of her saying she's leaving.
Sometimes we say things and wish we can take them
back as soon as the words leave our lips.

I really enjoy your writing style, its very thought
provoking. Please keep sharing your art.


Much Luv & Peace,


~4EVER


thank you.. I really enjoy the short pieces too.. I'm always sort-of
surprised when I find the end of a piece so soon after the beginning.
on the "fine".. it's all open to interpretation.. I think he might mean, "I
don't give a sh** what you do".. or, it could be "yeah right"... I never
decided what he should mean.. I wanted that to be left to the reader..
I really built this whole thing around this idea of her looking back in time
and saying what she would've did.. and then him looking back and saying
what he would've did.. and how hers is about him, but his is about his
Grandfather and his Uncle. It's like, she sees him as her whole life,
but he sees her as just part of his life. but that could all be smoke.. like
you said, he could have just said that to step around the pain of her
words.. and she could've just said what she said to get his attention..
I don't know.. but thanks for asking.
 

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