Black Relationships : Finding a Mate (Sorry if this has been posted before)

Discussion in 'Black Relationships' started by T}{e Trut}{ RyL, Jan 30, 2007.

  1. T}{e Trut}{ RyL

    T}{e Trut}{ RyL Member MEMBER

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    Well first off, I want to say that I am a young, respectful, kind, generous, and in my opinion, handsome Black male. I'm from Louisiana and dating for me is terrible. It is like, every sista I see is just like the next. I have yet to come across a sista that interests me. It like the ones I see, around my age group, are bitchy, loud, "ghetto if you would". The whole BET ish thing. They all have the "f this Ho" swagga (style). I'm not speaking about all my sistas, but only the ones I come in contact daily. I'm usually to myself when it comes to be I have nothing in common with. I'm grown attracted to this "mix" girl that I see. I don't know anything about her but I'm getting this read as if I need to talk to her. There is also this sista, that is cool. The problem with that, I'm not all that attractive to her. She's in my Tae Kwon Do class and is a year older than me. Can I get advice, lectures, or w/e. Am I looking in all the wrong places? What do I do? And if you're interested in knowing about me, I'm at www.myspace.com/ryllis . I need to update my bio even though the majority of the adds I get, people don't read it. And no, those are not my real eyes. Old pictures since I'm back to my glasses. Got tired of the contact thing.
     
  2. torch

    torch Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    my friend....I noticed u said you werent attracted to one of them..why is that? physical attraction isnt that important but I think all black women are beautiful....just be careful lumping them "ghetto" women in all together because one of them may not like them "bet-ish" thug type men...just dont have prejudice or judgment really fast get to know them first.ok...good luck
     
  3. Kemetstry

    Kemetstry going above and beyond PREMIUM MEMBER

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    Start in the church. Then go to people that have your interests. But realize that there are going to be a few bad ones along the way. it's all a part of life
     
  4. cursed heart

    cursed heart Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Your young you have all the time in the world sweety.
    Are you in college yet?
    You would be amazed at how many beautiful and interesting sistahs that are there.
    Also don't be afraid to go outside of your environment.
    There are many many venues for you to find a suitable mate.
    Good luck;)
     
  5. I-khan

    I-khan Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Do not let that 'ghetto swagger' intimidate you because it is not who they truly are but rather who they are conditioned to be/ behave in the face of certain situations, many people operate in a 'cause and effect' modality when it comes to their actions...I am personally not interested in 'how they respond' as much as I am in why they respond the way some women do, it is good to use their own ideas to get close to them and then when they are comfortable with you let them know that the ideas of mainstream(ie many times their own) are very faulty (something you can do in different ways without actually stating it),then you can incorporate more holistic thinking/acting into your relationship instead of the superficial,animalistic 'qualities' that are abound in the mainstream, but as kemestry said you MUST meet some 'bad' ones in order to recognize the 'great' ones..this also depends on why you are trying to get into a relationship which in itself has many degrees of comprehension I am still learning about.Also, people in general will want to be around something/ other people if they can gain something from it, some people want a family, others want to 'to be in love', etc. In short if other people do not gain anything from it that can advance them then they will not get involved in the relationship unless it was 'destiny.'and in that case they may only realize it AFTER they have been together for many years....


    you also have to realize that much overt idealism sexual and romantization comes from movies,books,music,etc and subsequently actual people you know... at my young age(physical) I know women (no I am not a 'pimp' or womanizer) that are older(20's and 30's) that are interested in me whether they show it through body language or actually telling me which was the case recently......I personally have always been told that I do not 'act childish' or I 'act like an old man' which are things I have been told since I was 5!..there are also alot of men (and women) out there who write like they speak a gospel on 'how to get a mate"etc but in reality these methods are not what they are praised to be since they may not have worked 500 years ago and in current time with women all over the world as well as in the future...even though they make good readings as books I do not look at them as a source of all of your methods because they are derived from the same animalism that drives many people today..remember the writers are only speaking of methods they used in their experience with certain types of people and subsequently can only give advice on certain types of women/men that operate from similiar ideals. A number of these 'methods' are easily used on little girls not bonafide women who often come and go like a thief in the night(ie without many peoples knowledge of their presence), in a sense. Lastly, if you do not respect women(I am not implying that you do not, I type in general terms) than you do not deserve to be with a 'real woman'. Since all women are different (despite what the 'gurus' say) they have different ideals on what is respectfull and otherwise which ties back into what I typed about the source of their ideas in the first paragraph.

    it should be all about functional realities rather than romantic ideas...in my view.


    peace.
     
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