Black Relationships : fellas will you commit to a woman with a bad reputation

[panafrica]

2 Yes & 2 No: It will be interesting to read how the other brothers comment on this issue.

 

[africane]

My answer to this question may not be popular, but it is honest. As brother Rich said YES to becoming committed to a woman who has "been around the block"; I would have to give a resounding NO as my answer. There is a saying that men have: "Never try to turn a whore into a housewife". There are some men who pay this saying no mind. However I have personally witnessed too many brothers have their hearts broken by trying to ignore this advice. In addition to this, men talk about women who have lived this type of lifestyle. In the case of a man who has either...forgiven...forgotten...ignored his woman's bad reputation (which is necessary to be in a committed relationship with a woman like this), this attitude is hard to maintain once men start coming up to you talking about your woman: How she was a freak in bed...where her birthmark is...that sexy mole on her ***! To be fair any man who is involved with a woman that had previous boyfriends can be subjected to this. Although there is a considerable difference between 1 or 2 men talking to you like this, than 30 or 40 men doing the same. After a certain point, I think most brothers will start to become turned off. This does not even include the comments overheard when walking around in public. Even more seriously it doesn't include the efforts of neighborhood men who will continue to try and sleep with your woman, because they still think they can. My ultimate reason for not wanting to be with a woman that has "been around the block" is I couldn't respect her (for all the reasons previously listed)! Indeed I couldn't be with any woman that I didn't respect.

Well i think it is still the double standard with full force . A man could have been a player in his youth and now he is saying that he has changed and he has grown up and that now he is different. But a woman if she has made mistakes before, she is still judged as if she has never changed?

 

[panafrica]

Well i think it is still the double standard with full force . A man could have been a player in his youth and now he is saying that he has changed and he has grown up and that now he is different. But a woman if she has made mistakes before, she is still judged as if she has never changed?

Well to be fair, if I was a woman, I wouldn't marry a player either! The behaviors aren't really that different. How many woman get their hearts broken by trying to "reform" the ladies man. I think we all know that the answer is...too many to count. However there is some double standard between men who behave in this manner from women that do the same. The only thing I can say is that women aren't men, and shouldn't try to be. Those that do usually end up hurting themselves!

 

[karmashines]

Well to be fair, if I was a woman, I wouldn't marry a player either!

I agree and I'm a woman. I personally detest 'playas', and if I was single would not date someone who had those tendencies.

However, in general society does not stigmatize men who have indiscriminate sex as it does women.

 

[panafrica]

I agree and I'm a woman. However, society does not stigmatize men who have indiscriminate sex as it does women.

I wrote that message in a hurry sister Karmashines...I just added a more detailed response. The ultimate message is the same though.