Black Relationships : fellas will you commit to a woman with a bad reputation

Discussion in 'Black Relationships' started by africane, Feb 19, 2005.

  1. africane

    africane Member MEMBER

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    be serious or get commited to a woman with a bad reputation? a woman who has been around the block in the past?
     
  2. $$RICH$$

    $$RICH$$ Lyon King Admin. STAFF

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    it really depend on her mind set and where she been sometime you can't
    change one who been around the block too many times but over all yes


    I'll be back to express why i said yes .....................
     
  3. panafrica

    panafrica Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Welcome to Destee.com Africane!

    My answer to this question may not be popular, but it is honest. As brother Rich said YES to becoming committed to a woman who has "been around the block"; I would have to give a resounding NO as my answer. There is a saying that men have: "Never try to turn a whore into a housewife". There are some men who pay this saying no mind. However I have personally witnessed too many brothers have their hearts broken by trying to ignore this advice. In addition to this, men talk about women who have lived this type of lifestyle. In the case of a man who has either...forgiven...forgotten...ignored his woman's bad reputation (which is necessary to be in a committed relationship with a woman like this), this attitude is hard to maintain once men start coming up to you talking about your woman: How she was a freak in bed...where her birthmark is...that sexy mole on her ***! To be fair any man who is involved with a woman that had previous boyfriends can be subjected to this. Although there is a considerable difference between 1 or 2 men talking to you like this, than 30 or 40 men doing the same. After a certain point, I think most brothers will start to become turned off. This does not even include the comments overheard when walking around in public. Even more seriously it doesn't include the efforts of neighborhood men who will continue to try and sleep with your woman, because they still think they can. My ultimate reason for not wanting to be with a woman that has "been around the block" is I couldn't respect her (for all the reasons previously listed)! Indeed I couldn't be with any woman that I didn't respect.
     
  4. kente417mojo

    kente417mojo Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Nope I won't, I agree with everything panafrica said. It's not worth it. If you couldn't respect yourself then I definately won't respect you. Now, I don't want a virgin, but I don't want a whore either. I want someone that doesn't sleep with everyone on the block. Some people try and give reasons why women do these things. I really don't care what reason there is for this behavior, I will not take a chance on a tramp.
     
  5. Khasm13

    Khasm13 STAFF STAFF

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    not to be a hypocrite...i'll just say...it largely depends on how she acts in the current day and age...i'd rather have someone that told me about her dirt up front rather then have someone with ill secrets for however long...this i do know...

    one love
    khasm
     
  6. panafrica

    panafrica Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    2 Yes & 2 No: It will be interesting to read how the other brothers comment on this issue.
     
  7. africane

    africane Member MEMBER

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    Well i think it is still the double standard with full force . A man could have been a player in his youth and now he is saying that he has changed and he has grown up and that now he is different. But a woman if she has made mistakes before, she is still judged as if she has never changed?
     
  8. panafrica

    panafrica Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Well to be fair, if I was a woman, I wouldn't marry a player either! The behaviors aren't really that different. How many woman get their hearts broken by trying to "reform" the ladies man. I think we all know that the answer is...too many to count. However there is some double standard between men who behave in this manner from women that do the same. The only thing I can say is that women aren't men, and shouldn't try to be. Those that do usually end up hurting themselves!
     
  9. karmashines

    karmashines Banned MEMBER

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    I agree and I'm a woman. I personally detest 'playas', and if I was single would not date someone who had those tendencies.

    However, in general society does not stigmatize men who have indiscriminate sex as it does women.
     
  10. panafrica

    panafrica Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    I wrote that message in a hurry sister Karmashines...I just added a more detailed response. The ultimate message is the same though.
     
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