*On all other sites I've been to I had to respond to poems before posting, was I supposed to do that here too, I apologize if I was* Constantly I ask myself if I could change things in the past, But I come to realize that all that pain and agony will forever last. Because at times I feel like I've moved beyond all means, But then I fall out of bed because it seemed to be just a dream. I look in the mirror and tears begin to form in my eyes, At times they just sit there at other times they fall and I cry. How can one have such an emotional strain build up inside, Causing negative outlooks on the world but still I lie, In bed trying to figure out what tomorrow will bring A positive me or another day full of things not meant for me. At times I think of the best in life hoping that someone special will set me free. But when will this pain go away, When can I be certain that things will change and I will be ok? I cant if I keep putting myself through these things, Negativity, hurt, pain, and backstabbers pulling on my sleeves. Yea I dislike myself, at times I hate me, But its not like its going to change anytime soon because my veins will soon run out of blood to bleed. So all I have left is God, faith, and a little bit of family. My truth, honesty, and my self-esteem. Which is too low at times to even get by, I just try to go on with life hoping that time will quickly pass by. But I constantly wonder why, I feel so unattractive and unwanted inside. I have a lack of sensation and pride. But yet I still survive, Knowing what tomorrow will bring. A negative beginning hopefully with some form of positivity. So I close my eyes as I terminate all means, Of people hurting and bringing pain to me. Because my heart is too broken to beat, Or allow my soul to be set free.